文/陈德彰

习近平主席博学精深，在讲话和发表的文章中，常常会引用一些古籍中的语录和经典的话语，深入浅出地说明问题。在外事活动中，习近平主席也常引用我国优秀传统文化中的一些话语来表达和阐明我国的立场和政策。正如《中华思想文化术语》丛书（外语教学与研究出版社）的序言中所说的：

“中华思想文化蕴藏着解决当今人类所面临的许多问题的重要启示，中华民族所倡导的‘厚德载物’‘道法自然’‘天人合一’‘和而不同’‘民为邦本’‘经世致用’等思想，以及它所追求的‘协和兴邦’‘天下一家’世界‘大同’，代表了当今世界文明的发展趋势，也因此成为国际社会的共识。”

能否用地道的外语准确地翻译此类词语，对确保成功的交际，是一个重要的方面。然而，目前在这一方面还存在不少问题。

近年来，世界上许多国家的学校里开设了汉语课，有的甚至从小学就让学生学习汉语，我们在世界各地开设的数百所孔子学院也在教授汉语。但是懂得汉语的外国人毕竟还是少数，别说能看懂中国古典著作，就是真正了解中国文化的人也很少。所以，通过翻译将中国传统文化中的优秀遗产介绍给世界各国，也是一个迫切而艰巨的任务。

本文就笔者在翻译我国传统文化中一些词语时常见的一些问题与大家商讨，供从事和学习翻译的同志们参考。需要说明的是，笔者只是一个从事了几十年翻译教学的教书匠，所以养成了鸡蛋里挑骨头的毛病，而且有点眼高手低。自己也翻译过一些东西，其实毛病也不少。本文只是笔者一家之言，尤请方家不吝指教。

说到翻译，当然避不开以读者为主的翻译观念（即英文说的target reader orientated translation）。翻译不是给译者自己欣赏的，而是要将原文的意思准确地传达出来，达到准确交际的目的。

下面是笔者遇到的书籍和文章英译中一些典型的问题。先看几个对整段译文的评论。头两则例子没有列出中文原文，只看译文就能看出不少问题。第三则是中英对照的，可看出翻译中出现的问题。笔者在认为有可商榷的部分加了下划线，鱼尾号内是评论。

1. Poetic conception refers to the method of using intuitive sensibilities【此词指（一个人/读者）感觉/认知的能力。学英文的人应该知道Sense and Sensibility这本名著和这两个词的区别】to compose a poem. Through the use of this unique【此词有必要吗】method, the poet can【确切地说最好用will be able to】construct in the mind a poetic state that intermingles to an exceptional degree【将此部分移到全句末，即imagery之后，结构会紧凑得多】the poet’s inner feelings and external imagery. The term qujing (取境 ) was coined by the Tang monk poet Jiaoran in his Poetic Styles. Based on【这是中国人学英语常见的用词错误，应该是on the basis of】a review of how poets from the Six Dynasties to the mid-Tang Dynasty wrote poems, he concluded that to write poetry, one must structure one’s thoughts【这样的用词和搭配好吗】 carefully so as to generate a uniquely original conception with no trace of common clichés【有not common的clichés吗】so that, following a period of【用词太花里胡哨，建议改为 after some】strenuous meditation, an inspiration will arise and the imagination will run free. Only in this way can the poet create a poem with a fine visionary world. Although the conception may【改为should也许更好】be highly original, ultimately the style【建议简化，改为the ultimate style】of the work must be simple and natural without any trace【建议改为语气更重的with no trace】of having been laboriously crafted【建议改为laborious crafting，因为汉语多用状语，而英语多用定语】. This term is closely related to the terms jingjie (境界) and yijing (意境), and together they are part of a series of terms about jing (境) in classical Chinese poetics.

2. Words can fully express a【应该用定冠词the】fundamental understanding of the universe. The relationship of【应该用between】language to【应该用连接词and】thought was a prominent topic of debate in the Wei and Jin dynasties.Ouyang Jian did not accept the view of Xun Can and Wang Bi, alleging【这里的-ing分词有语病，应该改用关系从句who alleged】that “words do not【这样的结构问题较大，应该改用cannot】fully express thought.” Instead,he advanced【advance是“发展”的意思，建议改用put forward】the thesis【用词不确切，应该用notion一词,两者的意思大不一样】that “words 【这里最好加上can，不仅可与前文一致，意思也更明白】fully express thought.”In his opinion, “thought” or “ideas” (yi) represent perceptions of objects and reason, while names and words are reflections of 【什么的reflection？最好加上them】and 【为了清楚地表达出逻辑关系，建议这里加上系动词are】determined by things and reason. As an“idea”is acquired and expressed, it is analyzed and realized by names and words【name and words本身 并 不能realize，应在names前加上means of】.“Ideas”and“words”【不是所有的词，而是和“意”相对应的词，所以应改为The ideas and their correspondent word】are accord【此词不确切，应改为 consistent】with each other and inseparable. Thus“thought”can be fully and exhaustively expressed.

3. 原文：吾日三省吾身：为人谋而不忠乎？与朋友交而不信乎？传不习乎？译文：Each day I reflect on myself in three ways. 【in three ways 的意思是“用三种方法”，可是下面列的明明是三个问题，也就是“三个方面”，英文应该是 in three aspects，起码是 on three questions。不少人没有看到下文，把“三”理解为“三次”，是不对的】Have I failed to be loyal when acting on behalf of others【理解有误。原文中的“为人”不是“代表其他人”，而是“替别人”，故应该改为for someone】? Have I failed to be faithful in interactions with my friends【这样理解“交”显然过分。不是“互动”，而是表示与朋友交往，可简单译为 do anything sincere to my friends】? Have I failed to practice【这里的“习”不是“实习”或“践行”而是“复习”，故而应该是review】repeatedly【完全没有必要加上这个词，原文根本没有三番五次或一再“习”的意思】the teachings handed down to me【这样译也不妥，I have learned 就可以了，实在要表达这个“传”字，似可加上 from the teachers/forefathers/predecessors】？ □