王姗姗

摘 要：筆者是一名高中英语教师，多年来在指导学生高考英语作文学习的过程中，通过批改大量作文，发现学生在追求复杂句式的同时牺牲了文章内容的“密度”，使得整篇文章显得华而不实，空洞无物。本文通过分析报刊中的专业话语（specializeddiscourse）表达简洁等特性，探索了以研读英文报刊语句提升英语写作表达为目标的，具有实操性的复合句修改的设计实践，希望通过这种实践跟更多的老师就提升高考英语写作表达进行交流。

关键字：高考英语书面表达;报刊;简洁语句;文章密度

引言：包括黑龙江在内的很多省份英语高考书面表达体裁是应用文，以书信，邮件为主。书信包括邀请信，申请信，推荐信，感谢信，求职信等。篇幅在100-120之间。在此篇幅中要求考生使用一定的句型，词汇，清楚，连贯的表达自己的意思。（注解：一定的句型，词汇包含适当使用复杂句式，高级词汇，准确使用过渡语。）然而考生对于使用复杂句式的理解过于片面——认为从句多，尤其是定语从句的大量使用就是衡量优秀作文的标准，导致文章松散口语化，文章的密度density小。对于这一现象，笔者利用报刊这一专业话语载体来引导学生赏析报刊中话语句法特征，如表达的简洁性（expressive conciseness）前置修饰（premodification）; 词汇密度（lexical density），以求从句式方面提升英语书面表达的能力。

一、通过研读英文报刊语句提升英语写作表达

以下面从报刊中选择的句子为例，①②句通过分词替换定语从句③④⑤⑥通过前置修饰语替换定语从句实现句子的简洁性，并最终提高文章的“密度”。

①After all， it’s difficult not to enjoy the bond with pets as well as the pleasure and challenge brought by a furry friend. （=which is brought by a furry friend.）

②The words， to some extent， mirror the heightened （增强的） public awareness of damage caused by climate change. （=caused by climate change. ）

③It’s an inevitable evolution（=It’s an evolution which can not be avoided or prevented）of the world， having a new generation of young people declaring their identity and living a lifestyle through street culture.”

④After 10 years of reading and watching the growing effects of human-caused climate change（climate change which is caused by humans）and other environmental disasters， it’s easy to feel hopeless.

⑤Your article about the benefitsof newly createdfake rhinohorn（=Your article about the benefits of the fake rhino horn which is newly created ） did not address the challengesand risks （“Fooled you”，November 16th）.

⑥The chemical reaction inside the orange caused the electrons （电子） to move from the zinc to the copper， and thus to make electricity（=which make electricity）.

以下是某重点中学学生在高三上学期的推荐信作文练习中的样本，以及根据报刊句式的特点修改后的版本：

Student A’s possible version

To begin with， I ‘d like to recommend you a film， whose name is Monkey King ： Hero is Back， which is based on classic Chinese fairy tales. I have some reasons for the recommendation. On one hand， it shows Chinese culture. On the other hand， after you watch it， you maybe can’t help longing to become a superhero，which may help you make more friends with common interest.

Improvedversion

To begin with， I‘d like to recommend you a film， Monkey King ： Hero is Back， based on classic Chinese fairy tales. I have some reasons for the recommendation. On one hand， it shows Chinese culture. On the other hand， after watching it， you definitely long to become a superhero surrounded by more friends with common interest.

Student B’s possible version

Firstly， it’s an exciting moviewhich is filled with suspect and dangerand the most important thing——a father’s love... Apart from both of the above， the character of the hero in the movie is complex， a man who is a successful and shrewd businessman and a father. His daughter is accused of killing someone.

Improvedversion

Firstly， it’s a cliffhanger-filled movieand the most important thing—it describesa father’s love... Apart from both of the above， thehero in the movie is a successful and shrewd businessman， and a father， whose daughter is accused of killing someone，thus making the plot complex.

通过对定语从句的替换，修改后的文章在内容上和结构是都更加的紧凑，使得文章密度得以提高。

二、结语

通過研读英文报刊语句对提升学生英语写作表达确实有帮助，但是教学实践才刚刚开始，还需要不断的思考和探索。在今后的教学中，教师要引导学生多渠道的挖掘提升写作能力的材料及方法，并逐渐培养学生的自主学习能力，为终身学习打下良好的基础，真正成为学习的主人。

参考文献

[1]M. Gotti， Investigating Specialized Discourse （3rd edn.， Peter Lang， Bern 2011） 213.

[2]N. 21st Century Teens Senior 2019