文/毕淑敏 译/朱虹

有个年轻人，名叫安澜，他说自己干什么都会成瘾。

我要详细了解情况，就说：“请打个比方。”

他说：“我上学的时候就对网络成瘾。那时候，我每天起码有五小时要趴在网上，网友遍布全世界。”

[2]我插嘴道：“全世界？真够广泛的。”

安澜说：“是啊。人们都说上网对学习有影响，可那时我的英文水平突飞猛进，因为要和国外的网友聊天，你要是英文不利索，人家就不理你了。”

[3]我说：“一天五小时，你还是学生，要保证正常的上课，哪里来的这么多时间啊？”

During one of my counseling sessions, a young fellow named An Lan confided to me that for him, anything that he enjoys would turn into an obsession. I asked for an example.He told me that when at school, he had been addicted to going online—he would spend five hours every day at the computer, his online friends were spread throughout the world.

[2] I could not help exclaiming:“Throughout the world! That’s really something.”

“So it is,” An Lan went on, “People say that going online affects your school work, but in my case, my English shot up. I had to chat with friends throughout the world, and if your English is not snappy, the kids ignore you.”

[3] “Five hours online! You were a student at the time. How did you find so much spare time?”

安澜说：“很简单，压缩睡眠，我每天只睡五小时。我有单独的房间，电脑就在床边。我每天做完作业后先睡下，四小时之后，准时就醒了，一骨碌爬起来就上网，神不知鬼不觉的，到了天快亮的时候，再睡一小时回笼觉。爸爸妈妈叫我起床的时候，我正睡得香甜。很长时间，家里人看我白天萎靡不振的，都以为是上学累的，殊不知我的睡眠是个包子，外面包的皮是睡觉，里面裹的馅就是上网。”

[4]我说：“青少年正是长身体的时候，你这样睡眠不足，是要出大问题的。”

安澜说：“还真让您说对了。后来，我就得了肾炎。因为不能久坐，我只好缩减了上网的时间。我休了学，急性期过了以后，医生建议我开始缓和的室外活动，慢慢地增强体力，我就到郊外或是公园散步。

“一个人在外面闲逛，就是风景再美丽、空气再新鲜，也有腻的时候。我爸说，要不给你买个照相机吧，一边走一边拍照，就不觉得烦了。家里先是给我买了个数码的傻瓜相机。果然，照相让人觉得时间过得很快，一只狗正在撒尿，一只猫正在龇牙咧嘴地向另外一只猫挑衅，都成了我的摄影素材。白天照了相，晚上就在电脑上回放，自己又开心一回。很快，这种简陋的卡片机就不能满足我的欲望了。我开始让家里人给我买好的机子，买各式各样的镜头……把自己认为好的照片放大。城周围的景物拍烦了，就到更远的地方去，我又迷上了旅游。

“Easy,” said An Lan. “Cut sleep to five hours. I had a bedroom to myself,and my computer was next to my bed.I went to bed right after finishing my homework. I woke up promptly after four hours’ sleep and went online,and nobody the wiser. By daybreak, I stopped for another hour or so to sleep.When my mom or dad came knocking to wake me up for school, I would still be in deep sleep. I would go through the day pale and out of sorts. My parents assumed that I was overworked at school.Actually my problem was lack of sleep.For me, sleeping became a pretense, a cloak to hide the time I spent online.”

[4] I muttered that he was still in growing pains and that this lack of sleep would cause serious problems.

“It was just as you said,” exclaimed An Lan. “Soon, I was diagnosed with nephritis and could not remain sitting up for long. I had to cut the time spent online. Then I had to quit school. When the first acute attack was over, the doctor advised me to spend time outdoors to recover my strength. I would take walks in the park or the outskirts of town.

“No matter how fresh the air, or how beautiful the scenery, I soon became bored of being alone all the time. So my dad bought me a little digital camera.Taking random snapshots as I walked about got me out of boredom. A doggie peeing, a cat showing its teeth at a rival—they all served as subjects for photography. Back home at night,I would play back the shots and get some entertainment out of them. But soon I was dissatisfied with that simple contraption. I got a good camera with different lenses and took shots of views in and out of town, and back home I would enlarge them for fun. I would go further and further out of town in search of better views, and this actually turned into tourism.

“后来我爸说，我这是豪华型患病，花在照相和旅游上的钱，比吃药贵多了。不管怎么样，我的病渐渐地好了。但是错过了高考，我就上了一所职业学校，学市场营销。毕业以后，我进了一家玩具公司。玩具这个东西，利润是很大的，只要你营销搞得好，拿比例提成，收入很可观。这时候，因为时间有限，到远处旅游和照相，变得难以实现，我就迷上了请客吃饭……”

[5]我虽然知道咨询师在这时应该保持足够的耐心倾听，还是不由自主地小声重复：“迷上了请客吃饭？”

“My father muttered that mine was really an expensive hobby, as the costs of my photography and ‘tourism’ had far exceeded the medical expenses. Despite the complaints about expenses, I did have a good recovery. But by then I had missed the National Test for Higher Education, so I attended a vocational school where I studied marketing. On graduation, I got a job at a toy store.I was paid according to percentage of sales and enjoyed a good income. Under the circumstances, photography and tourism as pastimes were out of the question, so I became addicted to throwing dinner parties.”

[5] I was aware that as his counselor,I should hear him out, but I could not help exclaiming: “Addicted to throwing dinner parties!” To be honest, it was the first time I had ever heard of such an addiction.

说句实话，我见过各种上瘾的症状，要说请客吃饭上瘾，还真是第一次碰上。

安澜说：“是啊。我喜欢请客时那种向别人发出邀请，别人受宠若惊的感觉。喜欢挑选餐馆，拿着点菜单一页页翻过时的那种运筹帷幄的感觉，好像点将台上的将军，尤其是喜欢最后结账时一掷千金、舍我其谁的豪爽感。”

[6]我思忖着说：“你为这些感觉付出的代价一定很高昂。”

安澜垂头丧气地说：“谁说不是呢？去年年底，我拿到了七万块钱的提成奖励，结果还没过完春节，就都花完了，我可给北京的餐饮业做出了杰出的贡献。最近，我们又要发季度提成了，我真怕这笔钱到了我的手里，很快就烟消灰灭。而且，酒肉朋友们散去之后，我摸着空空的钱包，觉得非常孤单。可是下一次，我又会重蹈覆辙，不能自拔。我爸和我妈提议让我来看心理医生，说我这个人爱上什么都没节制，很可怕。将来要是谈上女朋友也这样上瘾，今天一个明天一个，就变成流氓了。我自己也挺苦恼的，一个人，要是总这样管不住自己，也干不成大事啊，您能告诉我一个好方法吗？”

An Lan said, “Yes, I like the feeling of sending out invitations and seeing the delight and surprise on people’s faces. I like the experience of choosing a restaurant and going through the menu page by page, deliberating over the choices,like a general picking his team. I especially like the grand finale of throwing down the cash in a magnanimous gesture, as if saying who else if not I?”

[6] I demurred, saying: “I suppose you must have paid a hefty price for this kind of ‘feeling good’?”

An Lan looked downcast. “Exactly.On the eve of New Year, I received a bonus of seventy thousand yuan, but it all went down the drain and Spring Festival was barely a month away. I could say that I have really made a contribution to the success of the catering business in Beijing. And now, our bonus for the second season is about to be handed out. I am really afraid that the money will disappear in a flash. The fact is,once the convivial gathering is scattered and I am left with an empty pocket, I feel very dejected. But I can’t help myself. The minute there is money in my pocket, the cycle is on again, beyond my control…

“My parents have advised me to seek counsel, saying that this merry-goround of dinners must be checked. Suppose I start dating, they warned, I will be meeting one girl today and a new girl tomorrow, and I will be taken for a womanizer. I myself am unhappy about the situation. I will never be up to much if this trend goes on. Do you have any advice?”

[7]我说：“安澜，我知道你现在很焦虑，好方法咱们来一起找找看。你能告诉我像上网啊，摄影啊，旅游啊，请客吃饭啊这些活动，带给你的最初的感觉是什么吗？”

安澜说：“当然是快乐啦！”

我说：“让咱们假设一下，如果在那个时候，来了位医生抽一点你的血，化验一下你的血液成分，你觉得结果会怎么样？”

安澜困惑地吐了一下舌头，说：“估计很疼吧？结果是怎样的，就不知道了。”

[8]我说：“抽血有一点疼，不过很快就会过去。我以前当过很久的医生，对化验这方面有一点心得。当人们在快乐的时候，内分泌系统会有一种物质产生，叫作内啡肽。”

安澜很感兴趣，说：“您告诉我是哪几个字。”

我在一张纸上写下了“内啡肽”几个字。

安澜仔细端详着，说：“这个‘啡’字，就是咖啡的‘啡’吗？”

我说：“正是。咖啡也有一定的兴奋作用。”

[7] I said, “An Lan, I realize you are worried. Let’s put our heads together and think of something. Tell me, what were your feelings when you first plunged yourself into going online, and photography, and tourism, and entertainment?”

“I was happy, of course!”

“Now supposing that at the time, a doctor showed up and wanted to take your blood for testing, how would you feel?”

Caught unawares, An Lan stuck out his tongue. “I suppose it will hurt.I won’t be able to predict the result,though.”

[8] I told him that getting one’s blood taken will hurt a little but that the pain will be gone very quickly. I had been a doctor and know something about blood testing. When people are happy, there are secretions from their endocrinal glands, called endorphin.

An Lan seemed very interested, and wanted me to show it to him in writing,so I wrote down on a piece of paper the three Chinese ideograms for endorphin.

An Lan scrutinized them and said:“The phin here sounds like fei, the last ideogram for the word coffee.”

[9]安澜说：“您的意思是说，每当我进入那些让我上瘾的活动的时候，我身体里都会分泌出内啡肽吗？”

我说：“安澜，你很聪明，的确是这样的。内啡肽让我们有一种不知疲劳、忘却忧愁、精神焕发的感觉。这在短期内当然是很令人振奋的，但长久下去，身体就会吃不消。这就是很多染上了网瘾的人，最后变成茶饭不思、精神萎靡不振、体重大减、面黄肌瘦的原因啊。而且，因为人上瘾时，对其他的事情不管不顾，考虑问题很不理性，就会出现严重的后果，这也就是你在请人吃完饭之后精神十分空虚的症结。有的人工作成瘾，就成了工作狂；有的人盗窃成瘾，就成了罪犯；有的人飞车成瘾，就成了飙车族；有的人权力成瘾，就成了独裁者……”

[10]安澜说：“这样看来，内啡肽是个很坏的东西了。”

我说：“也不能这样一概而论。人体分泌出来的东西，都是有用的。比如当你跑马拉松的时候，只要冲过了身体那个拐点，因为体内开始有内啡肽的分泌，你就不觉得辛苦，反倒会有一种越跑越有劲的感觉。比如有的科学家埋头科学实验，为了整个人类的发展做出了卓越贡献，在那种非常艰难困苦的条件下能够坚持下来，他的内啡肽也功不可没啊！”

I said yes, and coffee has the effect of stimulation.

[9] An Lan asked: “Are you saying that every time I get wrapped up in those activities which could be addictive, it means that my body is secreting that stimulant?”

I replied: “An Lan, you are smart,quick to get to the point. Endorphin has the short-term effect of stimulating us and making us forget fatigue and unhappiness. In the long term, you get hooked. All such addictions are debilitating, causing loss of appetite, weight loss, and general decline of health. People throw everything to the winds when they are hooked. They stop thinking rationally and that may give rise to serious consequences. That is what happens to you after your dinner parties, you feel emptied out. In some cases, people become workaholics; others become kleptomaniacs and end up criminals.Then there are others who become part of the maniac drivers crowd. Still others become maniacs for power, and end up dictators…”

[10] An Lan said: “This means that endorphin is a very bad thing?”

I said: “We shouldn’t make these generalizations. Whatever the human body secretes, it has its uses. For instance, while running the Marathon,your body will be secreting endorphin after you have passed that critical turning point, and then you will stop feeling so tired. Actually you may even feel lighter on your feet. It is the same with scientists. As they bury themselves in research on subjects which benefit mankind, it is also thanks to the effect of endorphin that they could persist in their work under difficult circumstances.”

[11]安澜说：“听您这样一讲，我反倒有点糊涂了。”

我说：“任何事情都要有节制。比如，温暖的火苗在严冬是个好东西，可要是把你放到火上烤，结果就很不妙。如果你不想变成烤羊肉串，就得赶快躲开。再有，在干燥的沙漠里，泉水是个好东西，但要是发了洪水，让人面临灭顶之灾，那就成了祸害。对于身体的内分泌激素，我们也要学会驾驭。这说起来很难，其实，我们一直在经受这种训练。比如你肚子饿了，经过一个烧饼摊，虽然烤得焦黄的烧饼让你垂涎欲滴，但是如果你没买下烧饼，你就不能抢上一个烧饼下肚。如果你看到一个美丽的姑娘，虽然你的性激素开始分泌，你也不能上去就拥抱人家。所以，学会控制自己的内啡肽，也是成长的必修课之一啊。”

[12]听到这里，安澜若有所思地拿起那张纸，看了又看，说：“这个内啡肽的‘啡’字和吗啡的‘啡’字，也是同一个字。”

[11] An Lan murmured that he was getting a bit confused.

I said: “There is a limit to everything.Fire is good for winter, right? But I bet you don’t want to be held over the fire,unless you want to be baked. Again,water is a good thing in the desert, but you don’t want to be caught in a deluge.It is the same with the hormones in our bodies—we must learn to control. It sounds difficult to achieve; actually we are constantly being trained unawares.Say you are hungry and you pass by a stall with tantalizingly crispy baked buns on display. No matter how hungry,you will not snatch one unless you have paid for it. When you see a beautiful girl, your hormones might start working, but you will not go up and give her a hug. Controlling your endorphin is part of growing up.”

[12] As I finished speaking, An Lan picked up the piece of paper, looked closely at the writing and said: “The phin in the term endorphin is the same ideogram as the phine in morphine.”

我说：“安澜，你看得很细，说得也很正确。成瘾这件事，最可怕的是毒品成瘾。吗啡和内啡肽有着某种相似的结构，当有些人靠着毒品达到快乐巅峰的时候，他们就步入了一个深渊，这就更要提高警惕了。当然了，网瘾和毒品成瘾还是有一定的区别的。不过，一个人要身体健康和心理健康，对所有那些令我们成瘾的事物都要提高控制力，要有节制。”

那天告辞的时候，安澜说：“我记住了，任何成瘾都是灾难。”

I said, “An Lan, you are a sharp observer and you got it right. Talking of addictions, the worst one is drugs. The structure of morphine and that of endorphin have something in common. People who are addicted to drugs are actually in hell. That is something that we must beware of. Of course, addiction to going online is something different from reliance on drugs. But still, in order to maintain bodily and mental health, we should keep a distance from anything that is addictive. We must practice self-control—everything in moderation.”

As he left, An Lan murmured to himself: “Keep this in mind: addiction means disaster.”