湖北 范华平

新高考模式下，英语试卷题量大、书面表达权重高，学生倍感时间紧。英语教师越来越意识到：在常规英语教学任务中，写作不得不提上议事日程。写作既要限时成文，又要质量尚佳，这无疑都需要教师对学生进行有效的引导和训练。教师如何让学生最大限度地在课堂上完成读写任务，让写作教学任务真实发生，有生成性文本的输出，让学生获得成就感，让自己获得价值感？这需要教师转变教学理念，顺势而为、积极作为，只有这样才能帮助学生从容应对新高考。

读后续写要求学生阅读一篇350词左右的文本，该文本故事在高潮处戛然而止，冲突亟待解决。该题型充分融读写于一体，将模仿与创新紧密结合，伴有前文语境，有可模仿的语言样板，有内容可作创新依据，能使学生在真实语境中发挥想象、合理创造、续出新篇章。葛炳芳提到：“在读后续写中应提倡为内容而读，为思维而教，为语言而学。”笔者在本文中结合2021年浙江十校10月联考读后续写试题，从内容、思维和语言三个方面提出如何快速有效地进行读后续写，使学生在续写时，做到内容合理、思维缜密、语言丰富。

【2021年浙江十校10月联考读后续写试题】

One Saturday morning when Susan went,as usual,to Thompson’s hotel,to receive the price of her mother’s washing for the guests,which amounted to five dollars,she found the hotelkeeper in the yard.

He was apparently in a bad temper with some dealers with whom he had been bargaining.He held in his hand an open wallet,full of bills.Hardly noticing the child as she made her request,except to swear（骂骂咧咧）at her for troubling him when he was busy,he handed her a bank note.

Glad to escape so easily,Susan rushed out of the gate,and then,pausing to pin the money safely in the folds of her worn scarf,she discovered that he had given her two bills instead of one.She looked around.Nobody was near to share her discovery,and her first impulse was joy at the unexpected prize.

“It is mine,all mine,”she murmured.“I will buy mother a new coat with it,and she can give her old one to sister Mary,and then Mary can go to the Sunday school with me next winter.I wonder if it will buy a pair of shoes for brother Tom,too.”

At that moment she realized that the hotelkeeper must have given it to her by mistake,and therefore she had no right to it,as she was always told by her mother the Golden Rule —What belongs to you is yours,and what doesn’t belong to you should not be accepted.

But again the voice of temptation whispered,“He gave it,and how do you know that he did not intend to make you a present of it? Keep it;he will never know it,even if it should be a mistake;he had too many such bills in that great wallet,so it doesn’t matter if missing one.”While this conflict was going on in her mind between good and evil,she was hurrying homeward as fast as possible.

注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2.至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；

3.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；

4.续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。

Paragraph 1:

Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:

The hotelkeeper looked at Susan._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

一、读思情节“四部曲”——为内容而读，为思维而教

阅读是读后续写教学中的关键环节。学生只有在准确理解读后续写原文的基础上，才有可能运用自身的创新性思维以及发散性思维合情合理地续写。在阅读教学的过程中，笔者按照记叙文的六要素，整合概括出读思情节“四部曲”，引导学生读懂并画出前文情节中的有用信息及后文要契合的关照点，从而帮助学生厘清写作思路。

（一）“四部曲”的内容

1.一个主旨 ——positive theme：instructive,interesting

读后续写作为高考英语的新题型，凸显了核心素养的要求，进一步回答了培养什么样的人、如何培养人的问题，因而，读后续写中矛盾冲突的解决常常能反映出学生的人生观和价值观，这就要求学生在续写文本时应注意：续写的情节应体现正确的人生观和价值观，即续写内容具有指导意义（instructive）；学生也可以描写主人公有趣的人生体验，即趣味性（interesting）。积极主旨（positive theme）的阐述常伴随着情感变化（emotional changes），故事人物尤其是主人公常会在发生冲突时首先表现出消极的情绪 (worry，nervousness，disappointment，anger，shyness，fear...)，随着故事的发展和矛盾冲突的解决，其情绪会转变为积极情绪（relief，delight，understanding，excitement，happiness，pride，a sense of achievement...）。

2.两条线——时空线

学生在续写时要查看续写内容在时空上有没有大变化，如室内或室外、白天黑夜的交替、季节更迭，避免出现前后文内容不吻合的问题。

3.三处伏笔

学生阅读时可以画出原文中的伏笔，这些伏笔会给学生提供续写思路，学生在续写的过程中可以有意复现它们，以提醒自己写作时围绕主旨。如何确定哪些是伏笔呢？笔者常常通过主旨词、复现词或阅读时让人灵感乍现的词汇，以及描写主人公前后情感的转变、主次人物间的互动或对照，有特殊意义的事物的相关句子来确定。

4.四个情节

学生续写每个段落时可以用倒推的方式构思四个情节，基础弱一点的学生可直接以四个简单句呈现续写内容，围绕主旨推动情节发展。

（二）“四部曲”的具体操作

笔者每次在续写课的阅读环节，会给学生7分钟的时间让其安静阅读并完成下面表格。

1.三步精读明主旨，抓线索

表1：文本情节六要素

学生对表格内容的梳理如下：

（1）主旨：honesty，The Golden Rule

（2）时空跨度（when/where）：One Saturday morning，Thompson’s hotel，way home/back to the hotel

（3）三处伏笔（clues）：主旨词、复现词或让人灵感乍现的词汇；描写人物前后的情感转变、主次人物之间的互动或有特殊意义的事物的句子。

honesty:bills/money/present;

hotelkeeper:bad temper→? (soft:gentle/kind);

dealers:bargaining→? (silent,not bargaining)

what前情概要：

Susan went to get her mother’s laundry money from the hotelkeeper,who was busy bargaining with dealers and in bad temper.Later,Susan found he paid her more than expected.Joyful about extra money,she planned how to spend it,but she remembered the Golden Rule told by her mother:honesty.

2.四步巧构续情节，有互动

学生在了解了前文的情节之后，应根据要求续写的两段的首句，进行合理衔接，预测故事发展的走向，续写好情节。学生在续写时，应主要思考如何围绕主题，解决前文的矛盾冲突，完成由高潮到结局的故事叙述。教师可以采取启发的方式引导学生设问，从而逐步推动情节的发展。教师也可搭建支架，引导学生快速成文。

教师在拓展学生思维时，可以用“四问法”（“4Q”）推动情节的发展，续写第一段以续写第二段与第一段的衔接内容为起点，倒推第一段的情节；续写第二段以问题的圆满解决、正能量的传递为宗旨，倒推第二段的故事内容。两段内容聚焦主要人物的所看、所听、所感、所想、所说和所做，以及人物间的互动（关注主次人物之间的交流，尽量不要唱独角戏），学生续写时对每一段设四问，围绕这四问作答，既能凸显主旨，又能关照全景，使续写文章整体协调、情节合理。

下面以2021年浙江十校10月联考读后续写试题为例，具体阐述如何设四问。以续写第二段的开头语去衔接续写第一段的结尾处，学生可以想到续写第一段的主要情节是：旅店老板与女孩见面了。续写第一段开头内容为“女孩要到家了，突然停了下来”，针对这一内容可以提出的“四问”如下：

Q1：Why did the girl suddenly stop?

Q2：What did she see or hear?（主要人物所看、所听）

Q3：How did she feel or think?（所感、所想）

Q4：What did she do?（所做）

续写第二段的“四问”以问题的圆满解决、正能量的传递为宗旨，具体为：

Q1：What did the girl say,feel or do？（主要人物所说、所感、所做）

Q2：What did the hotel keeper feel or do?（次要人物的反应，人物之间的互动）

Q3 ：How did the girl feel after returning the money？（主要人物所感）

Q4：How did the story end up? What did the author hope to convey in the story?（采用自然结尾式、主旨靓句式、首尾呼应式、真情流露式、情景衬托式或智慧隽永式等常见的结尾方式）

或者，学生在考场写作时，可以构建如下的四步倒推法思维导图，以便简构续写的情节，从而快速成文。

四步倒推法快速成文的思维导图

笔者仍以2021年浙江十校10月联考读后续写试题为例，谈谈如何以快速成文的思维导图巧构情节。在这一步里，教师只关注情节的走向，帮助学生以简单的语言构思合情合理的情节。

四步倒推法快速成文的思维导图示例

二、拓展提升三个“三”——为语言而学，惟模仿运用

学生合理地续写了两段情节，适度照应原文线索完成续写初稿后，接下来，应更多地考虑如何加工润色续写初稿的语言，以期在平常的训练中不断提升自己的综合语言能力。下面笔者从细节描写、句型拓展和互评互改三个方面谈一谈如何提升学生的英语语言能力。

（一）情绪动作常搭配，栩栩如生有感情

记叙文常会涉及情绪或动作描写，这两者结合可体现英语语言的丰富性，因此学生可以在两个续写段落里巧妙贴切地使用它们。笔者将情绪、动作描写的续写常用句式归纳为第一个“三”：

1.表情绪的形容词或动词+ed表情绪或介宾短语（with +表情绪的名词；to one’s +表情绪的名词）...,主句...,动词+ing

2.主句...,with+宾语 +宾补或独立主格结构（逻辑主语+形容词/介宾短语/非谓语）

3.三连动动作（想到一个动作后，思考该动作之前和之后做了什么并细化动作）：

主语+动作1的过去时,动作2的过去时 and 动作3的过去时=主语+动作1的过去时,动作2的现在分词形式 and 动作3的现在分词形式=主语+动作1 and 动作2,动作3的现在分词形式

笔者将初稿中的句子升级，运用第一个“三”的写作技巧来拓展提升句式。

①Embarrassed,she hesitated at thought of the Golden Rule her mother told her,turning aroundto see the road leading to the hotel andshufflingback.

②“How could I do such a shameful thing?” she said to herself,with her eyes glancing down and her face blushing.

③After returning the bill,she was very excited to go home and share what she did with her mother,her heart dancing with pride/pride swelling inside her.

④On hearing what the girl said,the dealers bargaining bitterlystaredat each otherand silencedat once,separatingtheir own way soon.

我们再读原文，发现原文本以情绪描写、动作描写、心理活动描写和非谓语见长，上文提到的续写方式正与原文本涉及的句式吻合。

（二）句式推敲多变化，多读多写悟时机

我们再从语言运用的维度谈一谈如何对初稿进行润色，笔者总结了用于读后续写的常见句式，即第二个“三”。仍以初稿为例，丰富贴切地运用下列三种句型，有助于学生灵活地运用语言，尽可能地实现书面表达句式的多样化。

1.it句型：转念想，情绪词，表强调

想到：It occurred to/dawned on/struck/hit sb.that...情绪：It was incredible/unbelievable/surprising that...It came as a shock/a blow that...

It confused/concerned/delighted us that...

It was no wonder/a relief/a pity/a shame/a wonder/a miracle that ...

It was strange/peculiar/odd that...

强调：It was +被强调部分（除谓语不被强调，其他成分均可强调）+that...

【例】想到：It occurred to her thatshe couldn’t do such a shameful thing.

情绪：It was a relief toreturn the extra bill,and too excited,she headed back home,eager to share what she did with her mother.

强调：She was embarrassed asit was then and there thatshe reflected on the Golden Rule her mother stressed.

2.倒装结构

完全倒装：时间/地点状语或表语提前+不及物动词+主语：Then came the opportunity.../Then came her turn .../Here/There lay/sat/stood.../Before us appeared a river.../Lost was the opportunity...

部分倒装：否定词，so/such...that，表“虽然”的as/though，only+状语位于句首时，句子常用部分倒装。

（1）否定词置于分句句首（hardly...when...;no sooner...than...;not until...;not only...but also...)，主句倒装

（2）so+adj./adv.+助动词+主语+谓语的适当形式 +that...；such (a/an)adj.+n.+助动词+主语+谓语的适当形式+that...

（3）形容词/副词/动词+as（虽然）/ though +主谓+主句

（4）only when/if/then/by doing...,did +主语+谓语的适当形式

否定词：Hardly had the girl decidedto return the money when she rushed to Thompson’s hotel and stopped breathlessly in front of the hotelkeeper.

so...that...：So frightened was sheto hear his loud shoutthatshe couldn’t help slowing down but she gathered her courage and said,...

as（虽然）/ though：Frightenedas/thoughshe was to hear his loud yell,she gathered her courage and said,...

3.三种从句

（1）名词性从句（尤其要注意以what引导的名词性从句）：what came into sight/what greeted us/what surprised the girl/what scared the boy was...;after what seemed an hour/5 minutes

（2）定语从句：which，who (whom)，whose,where，when引导的定语从句

对人物进行补充说明：who (whom)，whose

对事情进行补充说明：which

对地点状语进行补充说明：where

对时间状语进行补充说明：when

（3）状语从句：it was (not) long before...;the moment/the instant;not until...;so/such...that...（=...enough to do/too...to）;as+原级+as...;...比较级than...;the+比较级...,the +比较级...

Annoyed to see her again,he shouted impatientlywhaton earth she was doing.Whathe heard was rather incredible,making himtoo stunned tospeak.

The instantthey heardwhatthe girl said,the dealers silenced at once,staring at each other and leaving without bargainingas bitterly asever.

(三)添枝加叶重衔接，线索主旨巧呼应

衔接契合是评定读后续写档次的重要标准。学生在完成续写任务之后，可对续写内容进行添枝加叶，如定语和状语的部分可适度进行补充拓展，注重故事前后的衔接连贯，讲故事的方式尽可能地符合原文的语言风格。笔者将衔接手段归纳总结为第三个“三”，这些衔接手段的恰当使用可以让续写内容与原文的衔接浑然天成，真正达到以读促写、读写融合的目的。

1.衔接连贯

（1）时间衔接

句子型：before doing/before sb.did...，after doing/after sb.did...，after what seemed...，no sooner...than.../hardly...when.../the moment/instant...，as...，it took long before.../it was not long before...

短语型：in a flash，for a split second，just in time for...，meanwhile，with minutes tickling by，with hours dragging away，only then

（2）代词衔接

this，that，these，those，he，she，they，their，it，its，him，her，his及关系词，它们既可指代重复出现的人和事，避免啰嗦重复，又能展现句子的灵活性和篇章的整体性。

（3）空间衔接

部分倒装：on/in +地点...appeared...，behind +地点...lay...，there stood...

（4）常见逻辑词衔接

though/although，...as/though（句中表转折），however，but，therefore等

结合本文初稿，笔者列举了以下衔接句供大家参考。

It didn’t take her long tomake a decision to return the money to the hotel keeper.After runningto Thompson’s hotel for 15 minutes,she stopped breathlessly in front of the hotelkeeper,whostoodwherethey met last time,still bargaining with the other dealers.

After what seemed about 25 minutes,she finally reached Thompson’s hotel and stopped in front ofhim,out of breath and exhausted.

2.与原文照应

（1）篇中线索词照应

上文提及三处clues：主旨词、复现词、阅读时让人灵感乍现的词汇，以及描写主人公前后情感的转变、主次人物间的互动或有特殊意义的事物的句子，本文中出现的honesty；bill/money/present；hotelkeeper：bad temper—soft(gentle/kind)；dealers：bargaining—silent,not bargaining，给学生提供创作的灵感，使其尽可能地实现文章内容的前后照应。

After she decided to return thebill,she accelerated her pace and headed back to the hotel,only to find the hotel keeper stillbargaining with the other dealers.

（2）主旨统一

多元素的组合：如感叹句、破折号及there be句型的使用

多元素的组合：①What +（a/an）+adj.+主谓!/How +adj./adv.+主谓!

②There was...;There be...that.../doing/done...;There was nothing better than...

There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other,and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.《哈利波特与魔法石》

下面以本文初稿为例，谈谈本文的照应。

多元素的组合：What an unexpected lessonit was—there was nothing more instructive thanthe girl’s remarks that got the bargaining dealers aware of mutual understanding and honesty.

自然结尾：Desperate to tell her mother what she had done,Susan waved goodbye to the hotelkeeper and returned to her humble home with a light heart.Never would she forget this day through the course of her whole life.

首尾呼应：学生写作时在结尾处对段首的句子进行重复，可以使内容更为完整，结构更为紧密。

尾段呼应：Susan waved goodbye to the hotelkeeper,who accompanied her out of the yard to the street,and headed back home,delighted as usual but pride swelling inside her this time.

3.三招来救场

在考场写作的有限时间里，在庞杂的试卷信息的冲击下，在没有灵感续写故事情节的状态下，学生如何打开思维？如何完成写作任务？笔者再谈谈三个常见的小妙招，以帮助学生控制好情节的详略，从而实现其写作时不露痕迹地扬长避短。

（1）无灵主语句的妙用：时间、地点和情绪是构成无灵主语句的重要内容。

（2）回忆的妙用：似曾相识的人、物及场景（重要的时刻及熟悉的味道等）。

（3）虚拟语气：心理活动，如后悔。

But for.../Without...,...would (not) have done...If ...had (not) done...,would (not) have done...How he wished ...had (not) done...

...would rather have done...（but ...was too...）...as if ...had done

笔者从三个方面探讨写作的不同着重点，但它们有同一个目标——聚焦主旨，细节为主旨服务，否则，这些情节就有凑词数和无病呻吟之嫌。

[学生续写初稿]Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.She was embarrassed as she thought of the Golden Rule her mother told her...从这两句我们可以看出，续写第一段首句之后可以写小女孩想法的转变及她坚定还钱决心的原因。笔者进行了如下改写或添加，其主旨就是“The Golden Rule her mother taught her had a great influence on her.”。

①无灵主语句+排比

Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.Her cosy home witnessedmany times when her mother demonstratedhow she was treatingthe neighbors with honesty andhow grateful and respectful they wereto her mother.She was embarrassed at her hesitation.

②回忆的妙用

尝试1：Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.Her homereminded her of the unforgettable scene wherea stranger came to thank her mother for returning his large fortune.（似曾相识的场景）

尝试2：Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.As she crossed the little bridge over the narrow stream,her eyes fell upon a benchwhere her mother and she occupied and had lengthy conversations.The Golden Rule her mother shared then popped into her mind.（似曾相识的事物和场景）

③虚拟语气：心理活动，如后悔

Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.She was embarrassed as she thought of the Golden Rule her mother told her.Had I returned the extra billat the spot,I wouldn’t have been in such a dilemma that I felt torn and kept thinking of it.Had I been honestto return it,I would have sharedit with a light heart without worrying about my mother’s lecturing about my dishonesty.（虚拟和排比）

结合上述的读后续写巧构情节和润色语言的流程，笔者设计了如下思维导图，清晰明了地呈现写作过程中的思维方式和写作重点，让学生知道写什么、怎么写，并展现自己的长处。

读后续写情节巧构和语言润色思维导图总图

三、自评互评共赏析——自评促优点，推敲共进步

在读后续写的训练过程中，教师要明确学生的学习主体地位，敢于放手，让他们参与评改。教师要制订书面表达的评价标准，并确保学生明确评价的具体内容，使学生能依据评价标准对自己或者同学的读后续写进行客观的评改。笔者根据读后续写训练中的重点设计了一个评价表，以训练学生自评互评的能力。

表2：读后续写自评互评表

在学生上交续写作品之前，笔者往往让学生进行自评和互评。同学之间对作品进行仔细推敲，共同赏析，取长补短，相互学习，相互借鉴，使续写后的评价更加及时高效，更加有说服力，榜样的力量也能发挥到极致。同时，通过参与评改，学生能增强自主学习的意识和责任意识，这样也大大减轻了笔者批阅续写的繁重任务量，一举多得。在这一过程中，教师引导学生练习了他们擅长的句式，使其语言习得呈现螺旋式、复现式的上升趋势。教师可以暂时忽略学生的小错误，放大他们的习得点，助其逐渐突破重难点。笔者相信经过日积月累，学生的读后续写水平定会有质的飞跃。