王秀凤

雄辩是银，倾听是金。在平时的交往中，尽可能少说多听。只有最大限度地提高自己的倾听能力，才能更好地提高我们的沟通能力和交往能力。

Many people neglect this most important communication skill.

Do you know that we spend half of our waking day communicating？

Of this communication time， 9% is spent writing， 16% reading， 30% talking and 45% listening.

Immediately after hearing something， most of us can recall only 50% of what we hear. Within two to eight weeks， we can recall only 25% or less of the original message. Our mental attitudes reduce our ability to retain what we hear.

Some suggestions to being a good listener are mentioned below：

First of all， stop talking—you can’t listen while you are talking.

Ask questions—when you don’t understand， when you need further clarification， when you want them to like you and when you want to show that you are listening.

Don’t interrupt—give them time to say what they have to say.

Concentrate on what they are saying—actively focus your attention on their words， their ideas and their feelings as they relate to the subject.

Look at the prospect—by looking， it gives them confidence that you are， in fact， listening. It helps you to concentrate too.

Leave your emotions behind—try to forget your own worries and problems. Leave them outside of the meeting room. They will prevent you from listening well.

Understand the main points —concentrate on the main ideas and not the illustrative material.

Don’t argue mentally—when you are trying to understand other people， it is a handicap to argue with them mentally as they are speaking. This only sets up a barrier between yourself and the speaker.

Learn to listen and you will achieve a great success in your life.

聆 聽 者

许多人忽视了这个最为重要的沟通技巧。

你是否知道我们醒着时有一半的时间是用来沟通的？

在这段时间里，9%是在写，16%是在读，30%是在说，而45%是在听。

听完某些事，大多数人只能记住其中的50%。两至八个星期内，我们只能记得原信息的25%，甚至更少。我们的精神状态削弱了我们的记忆能力。

以下是关于怎样做个好的倾听者的建议：

首先，停止讲话——你说话时是无法听的。

问问题——如果你不理解，需要进一步澄清时，或者你希望他们喜欢你，想证明你正在听时可以问问题。

不要打岔——给他们时间让他们说出自己想说的话。

集中精力听他们说——当他们说到主题时，积极地把你的注意力放在他们的言语、观点和情感上。

看着对方——看着对方，对方就更有信心，事实上也说明你正在听，这也有助于你集中精神。

搁置情感——尽力忘记自己的烦恼和问题，把它们都留在会议室门外。因为它们会让你没法认真听。

理解要点——集中精力听主要意思而不是说明性材料。

不要激烈争论——如果你想理解别人说的话，那么在别人说话的时候与别人激烈地争论将成为一大障碍。这只会在你与说话者之间设下一道鸿沟。

学会聆听，日后定会成功。