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小作者大能量

2016-11-30指导老师谢慧欣

疯狂英语·初中天地 2016年5期
关键词:橡皮泥美文温暖

指导老师:谢慧欣

小作者大能量

指导老师:谢慧欣

阅读一篇美文是一种享受,是文字带给我们的愉悦时光。而书写一篇美文却是一个艰辛而伟大的过程。在谢慧欣老师的指导下,来自华南理工大学附属实验学校的小作者们也书写了属于自己的作品—

A Beautiful Misunderstanding

There are many misunderstandings in our lives. Some make people keep far away from each other;others can show us love and kindness.

One sunny day, the sky was as pure as a sapphire[蓝宝石]. I went to a general store to buy plasticine[橡皮泥]with my classmate Nancy, a twelve-year-old girl. We were looking around just like two happy birds. At last, we chose a can of plasticine that cost 22 yuan. Then we went forward to the cashier’s[收银员].

“Oh no Nancy, it is her!” I murmured[低语]. “Yes, the terrible poker-faced woman!” Nancy answered. The female[女性的]cashier is the boss of this store. We were afraid of her. “22 yuan,” a cool voice came to us. We opened our purses. Unexpectedly, there was just a little small change[零钱]. “Sorry, please wait a second,” I said to the poker face. We felt very anxious and put all money on the ground. “One, two, three…twenty,” we looked at each other in consternation[惊慌失措]. “That is all our money,”Nancy told the poker face awkwardly[难堪地].

To our surprise, she looked at us with the pitying gaze[凝视]as if we were little match girls and told us gently,“Girls, 20 yuan is OK!” Then she gave us the plasticine. We said thanks to her and went to the subway station. When we looked for our metro cards, we were surprised that there were another 30 yuan in the interlayer[夹层]of my purse. I said, “Wow, it is really a misunderstanding!”Nancy said, “Yes, but it is beautiful!”

It was through the beautiful misunderstanding that we found kindness and warmth behind the poker face. And we believed this kind of kindness and warmth will be passed on from hand to hand.

初一(2)班 邓颖杉

老师点评:文章以第一人称的角度叙事,语言自然朴素,犹如一股清泉。开头简洁自然,结构清晰,结尾点题。语言多利用when和then来进行时间场景的转换,unexpectedly、to our surprise等词汇也较为地道地描写了作者的心理。在一场美丽的误会中,小作者发掘了人性的美好与温暖,也是因为这种发掘,美好与温暖才能够通过文字传递下去。

Everything Is Possible

Everything is possible, I think.

If I have a dream, I won’t give up. I know as long as I try my best to achieve it, I will succeed one day, no matter how hard it is. But if I don’t work hard, even though the dream is very small, it’s impossible to reach.

I do have a dream. My dream is to be a writer. I like writing things, so when I go out, I would bring my notebook. I think with the continuous[持续的]efforts, I will realize my dream one day.

For more than 60 years, most people have considered that there can’t be any snow in Guangzhou. But on 24thJanuary, 2016, when I got up and looked out of the window, something floated[飘浮]down from the sky. I was surprised because I had never seen snow in Guangzhou before. Neither had my parents.

I believe everything is possible from then on.

初一(2)班 王伊阳

老师点评:文章结构清晰明了,描述了对梦想这一话题的个人思考与现实行动。2016年广州市下的那场雪,也让小作者再次认同了这一说法:“一切皆有可能。”

My Wishes

I wish I were a bird. Because birds can fly freely and sing happily.

I wish I were a college student. Not only my study but also my ability is excellent, then my mother needn’t worry about me.

I wish I were a teacher. Because a teacher can give her knowledge to students, teach them to sing and dance, and help to carve[开拓]their paths hand in hand.

I wish I were a singer. I’ll use my songs to move everyone. I hope my songs can give them joy.

I wish I were a nurse. Because if I have some common knowledge in nursing, I needn’t worry when my family are in trouble. If anyone is ill, I can take care of him. I can give him an injection[注射]and let him take medicine on time. I hope my patients can get well soon.

I have many wishes, so I must study hard and I hope my wishes will come true.

初一(1)班 洪承烨

老师点评:对于虚拟语气的运用和掌握是整篇文章最大的亮点,在初稿时就能把时态变化写对,对于初中生来说是一件很了不起的事!本文前面每段都用了“I wish I were a”这种结构作为开端,让文章有了诗一般的美感。文章感情真挚,每个期望都蕴藏着欢乐与期盼,而“孝”字也贯穿在字句中,这也是老师最喜欢的地方。

I’ma Writer

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