by Karen Gravano

My first 2）inkling that my family was different came when I was six and found a gun hidden under my dads bed. I knew hed served in Vietnam and assumed it was from then. I even told friends how proud I felt： my father， the brave soldier.

A teacher overheard me talking about the gun and quietly mentioned it to my parents. Dad told me， “What goes on in our family stays behind these walls. We dont ever talk about it to anyone else.” I remember wondering why it was such a big secret， but it didnt feel strange； it was just the way we did things.我六岁的时候，开始略微察觉到我的家庭与别人的有所不同，我发现父亲的床底下藏着一把枪。我知道他曾在越南服过役，所以，我认为这把枪是那时候留下来的。我甚至告诉我的朋友们我有多自豪：我的父亲，是一名勇敢的战士。

一位老师偶然听到我谈论枪的事，之后，她把这件事告诉了我父母。父亲告诉我：“家里发生的事只能在家里讲。我们不能和别人说。”我记得当时我很不解，这又不是什么大秘密，但这也并不奇怪；我们家一向都是这么处事的。

We were a very traditional ItalianAmerican family. My father， Salvatore Gravano， worked in construction， while my mother was a housewife and looked after my brother Gerard and me. Home was in Staten Island， surrounded by friends and family. Everyone knew my dad， and even as a young child I could sense he was important. When he entered a room， the energy changed. People would rush over to shake his hand and kiss his cheek. He made time for them all， lending money and buying them groceries if they were struggling.

One day， when I was about 10， Dad sat me down in the kitchen. He told me I would probably start hearing some things about his life and he wanted to explain it in the best way he knew how. He told me some men in Italy had formed a secret group and vowed always to protect each other and their families—even if it meant stealing or hurting other people. Then he told me he was part of that same group here in America. It didnt sound scary to me—it was nice to know we were being looked after.

As the years passed， Dads business grew. We moved to a bigger house in an expensive suburb and I went to a private school. Mostly it was the children of wealthy lawyers， doctors and businessmen. Thats when I began to realise how different we were. For a start， Dad didnt look like the other fathers. He had tattoos on his arms， wore flashy jewellery and swore a lot. But I didnt find it awkward—I thought he was cool.

我们是一个相当传统的意大利裔美国家庭。我的父亲叫塞尔瓦托·戈拉瓦诺，从事建筑行业，而我母亲是家庭主妇，在家里照顾弟弟杰勒德和我。我们家在史泰登岛，附近住的都是亲戚朋友。所有人都认识我父亲，就算是我很小的时候，我也感觉得到他很重要。当他走进房间时，整个气氛都会发生变化。人们会挤上前来和他握手，亲吻他的脸颊。他总会为所有人都腾出时间来，如果他们生活艰难，父亲会借钱给他们或者为他们购置一些生活用品。