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储物症候群

2013-05-21

疯狂英语·阅读版 2013年4期
关键词:考试卷旧居储物

by Simon Edward Smith

Dont you just hate it when you go to a friends house and not only is there no where to sit but also nowhere to stand. Your friend is constantly saying, “mind that,” “sorry about that,” “just be careful of those” or “just step over that pile”.

Their house is full of clutter and stuff that even though they dont use they could never bring themselves to get rid of. Hoarders, storers, keepers, whatever youre called, its time you changed your ways. Whatever junk, trinkets, keepsakes or sentimental items you have, the time has come to have a good clear out and start again.

To be honest, writing about letting go of things is incredibly easy for me. I love throwing stuff away and only keeping what I need. Everything in my house has a very small sell-by-date and each month I am always looking around my flat for anything that I dont really want.

If you think Im overreacting about all this and believe the 4,000 newspapers you have is just a sign of being a good collector, then think again. But youre not alone if you do have a habit to hoard. More and more indecisive Americans are actually buying space to store the stuff they dont know what to do with (Good Stuff).

Some people, however, prefer to cram their own home full rather than rent a space to cram their junk in to (Obsessive Compulsive Hoarder Richard Wallace). They do this because they have such a strong attachment to their items that throwing it away would be, for them, like throwing away a piece of their life (Its Time to Say Goodbye to All That Stuff).

Its one thing to be “controlled” by your new iPhone, television, computer or whatever, but to be controlled by piles of junk and clutter…well thats just rubbish!

如果你去到一位朋友家里,别说坐下来,就连站着也没位置,你会不会心生怨恨?你的朋友会不停地说:“小心啊”“不好意思”“当心那些东西”或者“只管站在那堆东西上面吧”。

他们的家堆满了杂物,就算他们不再用了也不见得会清理掉。储物癖、囤物癖、藏物癖,无论你们的“雅号”是什么,都是时候要改变自己的做法了。无论你囤着的是什么,垃圾、小玩意、纪念品或者怀旧品,都是时候要好好清理一下,重新开始了。

坦白说,对我来说,写有关舍弃物品的文章实在易如反掌。我爱扔东西,只留下必需品。我家里任何东西很快便“到期即弃”,每个月我都不断地在公寓里翻弄着,看有什么是我不要的。

要是你觉得我对此反应过度,并且认为你留着四千份报纸只是表明自己是个不错的收藏爱好者,那可得三思。不过,如果你确实有储物的习惯,你也不是“独行侠”。事实上,越来越多优柔寡断的美国人正在买空间来储存他们那些不知道如何处理的物品(详见《家有上品》一文)。

然而,有些人却喜欢把自己家塞得满满的,而不是租个地方来存放他们的垃圾(详见《终极“储物狂”理查德·华莱士》)。他们这么做是因为他们对自己的物品有着强烈的依附感,把东西扔掉对他们来说就像将他们的生命中的一部分丢弃一样(详见《再见,我的“储物癖”》一文)。

被你的新苹果手机、电视、电脑什么的“控制”是一回事,但如果是被一堆堆的废品、杂物控制……噢,那可是垃圾啊!

“怀旧”,有时候,是一种病。

我是一个不喜欢扔东西的人,一是出于骨子里的拖延症,总觉得可以以后再说;二是自诩自己是个“念旧”的人,把那些曾在自己生命中创造过回忆的东西清理掉,实在太无情。

很久前有一次,母亲清理旧居,问我是否要清掉旧物。中小学教科书?——留着。作业本和考试卷?——留着吧。小板凳儿和旧娃娃?——也要留。……结果,我的东西基本一件没丢,只是我和母亲心里都充满疑惑:这些东西,我真的还会翻出来捣腾吗?最终,在前两年的旧居装修中,母亲实在找不到转移这些东西的地方,同时也忍受不了上面的灰尘污垢和不断繁衍的小动物,二话没说,来了个片甲不留。而我,在这两次的清理行动中,连旧居都没有踏进过。

面对不断堆积的杂物,如何取舍是一门艺术,而我注定不是杰出的艺术家。我当然也没有万亩良宅来安放各种物品,于是拥挤的蜗居总是上映翻箱倒柜、物物转移的戏码。家里举步维艰的盛况在年末大扫除会达到顶峰,简直能把我活生生地憋出焦虑症来。谁也不想在新年朋友造访的时候,觉得家里像个垃圾房吧?但是,到底要扔哪一样呢?ABCD,甲乙丙丁……神啊,帮帮我吧!

有报道说,如果你是个爱囤积的人,年龄越大,积习越深,成瘾成癖。我又不禁焦虑起来。脑子里闪过一位朋友在花大力气清理掉老父积压多年几乎引发鼠患的旧物后的感慨:“老爷子的东西,可不能留给下一代折腾啊。”我茅塞顿开。是啊,为了豁免孩儿这一项可怕的任务,我可坚决不能成为一个“储物癖”。改掉陋习,从我做起,就从,就从——清理我凌乱不堪的办公桌做起吧!

——Weiji

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