by Omer Kamal Bin Farooq 译/辛献云

曾经你是那么讨厌大学里的生活，讨厌这里的一切：老师枯燥的讲课、课堂上的积极分子、繁重的课后作业、性情乖戾的室友、食堂的大锅饭……但是当毕业在即，内心对这一切又突然变得不舍：那些曾经的失意和快乐，那些往昔的吵闹和笑声，所有这一切终将成为生命中永远也抹不去的回忆……

I know you guys have already read a couple of blogs about graduation; the ones that elaborated in 10 points how, after passing out1), the realisation dawns that the world out there is very evil and that college was pure bliss.

While these writings surely had their utility, what they failed to encapsulate2) was the experience itself; the four years of loathing that magically turn into a bitter sweet feeling as the end approaches.

I still remember an incident from freshman year when I complained to a teacher about the excessive workload and she said, with a smile reminiscent of days gone by, “When you are done with college, you will miss working all night long with your friends.”

I laughed sarcastically in response. Now I realise that the joke was on me3) all along.

Whats ironic though is the fact that through the course of four years, you pretend to hate every bit of your college life. The news of a cancelled class makes you jump up and down on your seat even though you are fully aware of the horrors of the make-up class that will be scheduled on a Sunday.

The dengue4) holidays come as pure unadulterated joy and you spend your days off with the guilty pleasure of knowing that while you celebrate your time off with cheap cinema, the rest of the city is in chaos.

On top of it all, theres that constant and usual subterfuge5) among your friends that will put Star Plus6) aunties to shame. I mean Zoya is gossiping with Adil about Hira behind her back, but Hira and Zoya are BFFs (best friends forever) and also Zoya was Adils ex-girlfriend and now the current girlfriend of Taimur, who by the way, is Adils friend but secretly hates him and also tried to kick him out of the group—yes, that pretty much summarises it.

Making the college experience more fun are the thetas7) (the Greek mathematical symbol—yeah it really makes you wonder where they got that name from) in every class, also commonly known as nerds. These people will answer every rhetorical question8) with the loudest of “yes” and then look towards the teacher with puppy eyes, begging for appreciation. Other students, who rise from their slumber9) by the excited cries of the nerds, are left staring at them with a what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you expression.

And it doesnt end in the classroom either. Every time you go to the instructor to request an extension in the term project submission date, the nerd will already be there. And not to help, mind you, but to stare at you in a nonchalant10) fashion and declare in an annoyingly innocuous11) tone that they are already half way through their project.

Oh how you wish at that time that you had learned a trick or two from the seven Saw12) movies you watched for absolutely no apparent reason (never mind the 3D version—its not even worth mentioning).

Despite all of the above-mentioned stuff that you apparently disliked, somewhere in the last semester, the cognizance13) of your university life coming to an end hits you squarely in the face.

Suddenly the annoying friend who made all your quizzes and exams impossible through constant cries of “help me with something bro” doesnt seem that annoying after all.

A couple of free days after the final exams and you even start missing the weekend makeup classes; classes that you went to grudgingly14), cursing the instructors wife all the time for making life so miserable at home that he decided to conduct the class on a Sunday.

The reason for this, on a psychological level, has to be the trepidation15) of growing up and having to face the challenges of the real world coupled with the issues of mortality that translate to quarter life crises in many youngsters. But lets not make this boring.

On introspection16), you discern that the little idiosyncrasies17) and quirks were what made the whole college experience worthwhile. Oh how you miss the constant complaints, the arguments you had with your classmates, the pranks18) you pulled on aged professors and the classes you bunked19). And of course, who can forget the ostensible20) study groups, the impromptu21) birthday celebrations and the misplaced crushes22)? All these small things, when put together, make the whole enterprise unforgettable.

The funny thing is that when you look back at college after graduation, you dont remember the grade you got in some random subject or the trivial fights you had while you were there. The things that stay with you are the little incidents and bursts of laughter that seemed inconsequential23) at that time but will surely bring a smile to your wrinkled face some 40 years down the line24). For instance, the incident where the instructor was trembling with anger and you still couldnt control your laughter, or when you collected money from the juniors on “Daku day25),” or when you helped a friend pass through an exam in which he had no hopes.

When you realise that you have to leave this makeshift26) world and that the friendships that form it are going to be reduced to Facebook likes27) and Tweets—despite the promises of “staying in touch” on farewell day—it makes you a little despondent.

Orson Welles28) said: “If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.”

Well the story of real life may have just begun, but graduation seems to be a very appropriate point for an integral chapter of life to have a happy ending.

PS: A heartfelt apology to all the nerds, without whom classrooms all around the world will be exponentially29) boring. How else would we have our fun then?

我知道各位已读过数篇关于毕业的博文，那些文章分十个要点细数了毕业之后学生如何幡然醒悟，发现外面的世界是多么险恶，而大学里又是多么纯净快乐。

这类博文确实有其可读之处，但它们却未能抓住大学生活经历的本质，以及四年来对大学生活的厌恶之情如何在即将结束之时神奇般地变成了一种爱恨交织的感情。

我还记得大学一年级时发生的一件小事。当时我向一位老师抱怨说作业负担太重，结果她笑了笑，仿佛想起了逝去的美好时光，说：“等你大学毕业后，你就会怀念和朋友们一起通宵熬夜做功课的美好日子了。”

我的回答是一阵带着嘲讽的大笑。可现在我意识到，其实一直以来我自己才是最可笑的。

然而，具有讽刺意味的是，整整四年中，你仿佛恨透了大学生活的方方面面、边边角角。每次听到某节课被临时取消的消息，你都会欢呼雀跃，虽然你心里很清楚，取消的课将会安排在星期天补上，而那对你来说无疑是噩梦。

登革热病流行期间，学校通常都会放假，那对你来说更是纯粹的、完完全全的开心时光。一连几天，你泡在廉价的电影院里，尽情地享受着放松的快乐，但同时心里又感到愧疚不安，因为你知道外面的世界已经乱成一锅粥。