韩志凌

摘要: 大学英语四级写作是衡量学生英语综合水平和应用能力的一个重要指标, 而学生写作中普遍存在的问题又直接影响了学生的写作成绩。本文从分析学生写作过程中出现的错误入手,教学生怎样写出一篇合格的作文。

关键词: 大学英语四级作文错误分析

众所周知,大学英语四级的写作考试是衡量学生英语综合水平和应用能力的一个重要指标,也是大学四级考试的一个重要内容。考生在这一部分的得分直接决定其四级成绩。因此写好一篇文章对参加四级考试的学生来说可谓至关重要,不容轻视。但学生写作中普遍存在的一些错误又影响了学生的写作成绩。在英文写作中,学生容易犯的错误可以分为两大类:1.不切题;2.语言表达的错误。

一、不切题

英汉不同的语篇思维模式是造成不切题的直接原因。汉语语篇的思维模式是中国历史文化的产物,人们认为这种方式含蓄、委婉,容易使人接受,而英美人则喜欢开门见山地叙述主题。所以我国学生在进行英语写作时,由于受汉语语篇思维模式的影响,阐述时不从主题入手,不能紧扣主题进行写作,致使文章主题不明确,观点不够鲜明。我们来看一篇以“Trees”为题目的作文:

Trees are mans friends.We can see trees everywhere.We plant trees every year.We can make tables with trees.Trees also give us fruits to eat.I like to eat fruits very much.

该段的主题句是“Trees are mans friends”,写作中心应围绕“friends”,也就是树的用途展开。但学生没有从friends入手阐明主题,而是绕圈子说了些无关紧要的话。第一、二、五扩展句偏离了树的用途这个主题,而是说我们到处可以看见树木;每年都种树;喜欢吃水果等;而且段落框架松散,这样就属于主题句抓不住,中心思想不明确。

再来看改写后的段落:

Trees are mans friends.They provide man with timber,fruits and seeds.With timber,man can build houses and make furniture.Fruits are the food,which is necessary to us every day.As for seeds,they can be used to extract oil.

修改后的文章就克服了前面所犯的错误,紧紧围绕了主题句来展开,算是一篇好的作文了。

那么如何写好一个完整的段落呢?段落一般由三部分组成:主题句(Topic Sentence);扩展句(Development Sentence);结论句(Concluding Sentence)。下面我们分别讨论。

1.主题句

主题句点出段落主旨,阐述全文的中心思想(central idea),各段落的主题句构成一篇文章的骨架。主题句由两部分组成,即主题(topic)和中心思想(controlling idea)。中心思想的作用是导向(control)和制约(limit)。所谓导向就是规定段落的发展脉络,所谓制约就是限制主题的覆盖范围,两者不可分割。没有导向,内容就会离题或偏题;没有制约,内容就可能超出一个段落所能容纳的范围。

主题句概括段落的主要内容,它不仅确定段落的主题,而且限制该主题在本段落详细讨论的范围。因此主题句是整个段落的纲领。主题句一般位于段首,也可置于段尾或段中,考生最好将主题句放在段首,这样较易掌握和构思。

写好主题句的方法:

(1)主题句应反映作者的观点或思想而非事实的陈述。

事实陈述:I passed the entrance exam and started my college life in Tianwai.

主题句:Four years of college life has taught me a great lesson in life.

(2)主题句要概括一定内容,不要空泛,否则扩展句将难以说明和支持它。

空泛:The Olympic Games are exciting.

概括:In the Olympic Games the football teams from many countries compete intensely.

(3)尽量使用简单句或简洁明了的句子。

简洁:I enjoyed watching Gone With the Wind very much.

复杂:Gone With the Wind was a good film which I enjoyed watching very much.

(4)主题句应该做到句子完整和表达的主题思想完整。

不完整:How to write a composition.

完整:How to write a composition is not an easy thing to talk about.

2.扩展句

扩展句是对主题作进一步的阐述,通过给出一些例子、原因、事实来对主题句进行解释说明。这是段落的主体部分,扩展句通常包含若干个句子置于段落中间。在写作中,扩展句的多少、长短要适中。既要把思想内容表达清楚,叙述详实,又要注意简明扼要,重点突出。

(1)主要扩展句(Major Supporting Statement)

主要扩展句的特点是:围绕段落主题句展开的每一个扩展句本身都不要求作进一步的说明或证明,句与句之间的关系既相互独立又相互连接。

例如:(主题句) There are several factors affecting climate.(扩展句1)One factor is the mount of sunlight received.(扩展句2)Altitude,or the height above sea level,also determines climate.(扩展句3)The oceans have an effect on the climate of adjacent land.(扩展句4)In addition,climate is influenced by the general circulation of the atmosphere.

主题句指出影响气候的几个因素。然后用四个扩展句说明四种因素。第一种是太阳光的接收量;第二种是海拔高度;第三句和第四句分别是海洋和大气环流因素。

(2)次要扩展句(Minor Supporting Statement)是指对主要扩展句作进一步的事实分析和举例说明。它从属于某一个或某几个扩展句。

例如:(主题句)I dont teach because teaching is easy for me.(主要扩展句1)Teaching is the most difficult of the various ways I have attempted to earn my living:mechanic,carpenter,writer.(主要扩展句2)For me,teaching is a red-eye,sweaty-palm,sinking-stomach profession.(次要扩展句1)Red-eye,because I never feel ready to teach no matter how late I stay up preparing.(次要扩展句2)Sweaty-palm,because Im always nervous before I enter the classroom,sure that I will be found out for the fool that I am.(次要扩展句3)Sinking-stomach,because I leave the classroom an hour later convinced that I was even more boring than usual.

从属于主要扩展句2的三个次要扩展句起着解释说明作用,分别解释“red-eye,sweaty-palm,sinking-stomach”的含义,这就更加形象生动地证明了“teaching is not easy”这个主题。

主要扩展句与次要扩展句的关系(relation)基本可以遵循下面的三个规则:

1)每个主要扩展句都应该是对主题句中表示主要思想的关键词的直接、明确的说明。

2)每个次要扩展句都应该说明它的主要扩展句。

3)含有讨论说明或分析的问题通常既要有主要推展素材,又要有次要推展素材。

段落扩展的方法很多,常用的扩展方法有:描述法(Description)、定义法(Definition)、因果法(Cause and Effect)、比较与对比法(Comparison Contrast)、举例或例证法(Example and Illustration)、分类法(Classification)等。

3.结论句(Concluding Sentence)

我们都知道文章的开头很重要,因为好的开头可以吸引读者,抓住读者的注意力。同样,文章的结尾也很重要,好的结尾会使读者对全文的中心思想留下深刻的印象,可以增添文章的效果和说服力,让人深思,回味无穷。下面就介绍几种写结论句最常用的方法:

(1)重复中心思想。用不同的表达方式回到文章开头阐明的中心思想或主题句上,达到再次肯定和强调的效果。如:

This group of students want beauty from sports.(topic sentence)Boys want to become strong;girls want to be slim and graceful.Those who consider sports the only way of reducing weight also belong to this group.They are very careful in choosing the kind of exercise they do,and are afraid that certain sports may ruin their figures.Horizontal bars and parallel bars are the boys choice,and the hula hoop is now the girls favorite.The appropriate name for this group may be beauty-oriented sports participants.

(2)作出结论。文章最后用一句话概括全文内容,并进一步肯定文章的中心思想或作者的观点。如:

My application was designed to draw the employers attention to my practical abilities.Specifically,I noted that I type ninety words per minute and take dictation at one hundred and thirty words per minute.Next,I indicated my past work experience on three similar jobs.Finally,I give a summary of the evaluations of my immediate superiors on the three previous jobs.In short,I stressed my secretarial skills,my experience,and my evaluations in the letter of application.

(3)作出推理。结尾句可以是基于前面细致的陈述引申出的推理。如:

Claudia is destined to be an excellent long-distance runner.First,there are her physical attributes.She is long-legged and has a tremendous stride.She also has great natural endurance and an at-rest heart rate of sixty beats per minute.Next comes her mental toughness.She is a tremendous competitor who will extend herself to exhaustion to win a race.She has the strength to block out pain and concentrate on her race during those last few hundred yards where most runners tend to wilt.Finally,Claudia surpasses most athletes in dedication.She runs five to ten miles a day in morning and evening sessions at least five days a week.She maintains this schedule ten months out of the year,and while most high school athletes sit out the summer,Claudia trains and competes in AAU competition.If she can maintain this dedication for another two years,she has an outside chance of being invited to the Olympic trials.

(4)提出展望或期望。表示对将来的展望或期待读者投入行动。

好的结尾句:

1)I hope that my experience raising my own children will help me be a better teacher.

2)I feel that Ive experienced the best of both cultures,and I hope to use this experience in my future work.

3)Now I know that if I enjoy something and know it is important,I can work really hard to make it a success.

差的结尾句:

1)I never want to go through such a horrible experience again.

2)I guess raising children isnt easy for anyone.

3)I can never do things I dont enjoy,but when I like something I work pretty hard at it.

二、语言表达错误

英语写作中,所谓重大语言错误,通常是指语法和词汇错误,我们可以把学生易犯的语言错误归纳为:词汇问题、语法错误、中文式英语。

1.词汇问题

词汇是英文写作的基本要素。如果把语法比作写作的框架,那么词汇就是写作的砖瓦。我国学生在英语写作中常见的错误类型主要有以下几种:单词拼写错误、词义搭配混乱、词型相似的英文单词错用等。

2.语法错误

大学英语写作中出现的语法错误主要表现在以下几个方面:

(1)句子混乱(Run-on Sentences)

误:Students can realize the hardship of living they will value their work and life as well.

正:Students can realize the hardship of living.They will value their work and life as well.

(2)句子不完整(Fragmentary Sentences)

误:We have to learn a second foreign language.Because we need to speak to foreigners.

正:We have to learn a second foreign language,because we need to speak to foreigners.

(3)结构不平行(Faulty Parallelism)

误:They work to prove their personal abilities,they work to realize their dreams that they cherish since childhood,and they work to enjoy themselves.

正:They work to prove their personal abilities,they work to realize their dreams,and they work to enjoy themselves.

(4)修饰错放(Misplaced Modifiers)

误:Stability is almost favorable for all possibilities of economic booming.

正:Stability is favorable almost for all possibilities of economic booming.

(5)悬垂修饰语(修饰成分错位,不合逻辑)(Dangling Modifiers)

误:Lowering the height of the truckload,the 4.5 meter high tunnel was passable.

正:The deliver men lowered the height of the truckload to pass through the 4.5-meter-high tunnel.

(6)缺少或多余句子成分

误:Millions of people smoking in China...(缺少谓语)

正:There are many ways lead to Rome.(多出一个谓语)

(7)介词、冠词遗漏

误:Because his mistake several people died.

正:Because of his mistake several people died.

误:I have never seen such beautiful picture.

正:I have never seen such a beautiful picture.

(8)各种基础语法错误

学生在写作中,对主谓一致、代词一致、时态呼应、语态对应等方面的基础语法知识掌握不是很牢固,写出的句子有时让人难以捉摸,不知所云。

3.中文式英语(Chinglish)

学生在写作中常犯的一个通病是习惯于用汉语思维,然后再逐字逐句地翻译成英语。虽有的句子从语法结构上看合乎语法,但表达方式却不合乎英语习惯,不是地道的英语表达,有时可能因此闹出笑话和误解。

(1)误:He is possible to come.

正:He might come.

原句是“他可能来”逐字翻译的堆砌,然而,英语中possible一般用“It is possible for sb.to do sth.”来表示“某人可能做某事”。

(2)误:Ill tell you my decision three days later.

正:Ill tell you my decision in three days.

表示未来的“三天后”,在英语中不能表示为three days later,而应该是in three days。

写作测试的是学生综合运用语言的能力,能够集中反映出学生的英语水平。写作能力的提高必须建立在大量阅读的基础上。因此,学生除了在平时写作中尽量避免上面提到的常常出现的错误外,更要注重平时大量阅读英语文章,进行长期的反复写作训练,只有这样才能写出好的文章。