黑龙江省讷河市友好中心学校 郑春博

1.The definition of family education and its important position

Family is the basis of human life, is the cell of society,and is the first school of the young.From they are born, the child receive the conception,information and emotion all come from their family, and have an important influence on their future sense.It can be said that family education is more important than school education or any other educations.If regard education as a long and extended river throughout life,family education is the source of this long river; If regard education as huge building which bring up the talent, family education is the first foundation of this building.The effect of family to the child is very specific, vivid and practical.Family education has been the most important part of people’s education in modern society, as well as it plays an important role.Therefore, from this view,the child does not belong to any family, but could be regarded as future of the country and the constructor or successor of socialistic modernization.Every country knows that the competition of the future society is the competition of science technology necessarily,and the result of which is the competition of talent, the talent comes from education, and family education is the basis.From the course of one’s education for the whole life, family education becomes important component of education all one’s life.Family education’s true effect lies in making oneself become much cleverer and increase the generation’s existent ability,so that the life becomes happy and felicitous.Then,family education can promote the overall development, as a builder of future society, it is not enough that only possess intelligence and good score.At the big aim of family education,besides developing the child’s intelligence, also should take notice of the child’s nonintelligent developing and training

2.The difference of the family education between China and America

2.1 The direction of education is different

Chinese parents pay more attention to social enlihtenment but ignore the growth of the child, they take the social adapted enlightenment seriously,but neglect the development of children’s characteristics,and they always train the child on their own fixed pattern to spread the broad road for their growth.In their mind, “a good child” is a child with good understanding and obediently at first, refers to masses, and love by everyone.They often control their children with their own mind and never ask for the child.They are always orders and their children are executers.So parents train the child to practice self-cultivation, selfconvergence, emphasizes implicit and the conception of social rank.The Chinese parents hope their children becoming famous or better, so they overall the method of education.In the course of child’s grown,parents pay much more attention to their marks and other things except study is not useful.Yet American parents focus on providing an environment that can fight against, and develop their tenacious personality and good behavior, continue to keep on regulation, choosing the training sense and ways of themselves according to social changes and features of children on physical and mental material.They also pay more attention on developing imagination and curiosity of nature, because they believe that knowledge creation comes from curiosity.

2.2 Education in emotion is different

We cannot regard family education as a single course which parents educate the child,family education is bidirectional course between parents and their child.In this course, parents affect the child and the child affects parents, too.Parents’concept, attitude and behavior of education affect the child’s physical body and the development of psychology; parents are also affected by the child’s acknowledge and attitude and their behavior, which include parents’ educational behavior.The course of family education is initiated by parents’ behavior or the child’s action sometimes.Maybe parents should learn their child and make up actively.The most feature of family education is different from school education is “love” education.To the basic, a clear difference is the way of expressing love to their children ,there are two forms between the Chinese parents and American parents.Generally speaking, the expressed way of Chinese parents is very indirect and implicit, they are not very good at saying “I love you” or“I miss you” to their children and always hide their emotion and express their deep love in a tactful way.In Chinese family,there are always the words such as “No”, “can not”, or“can”, “should”, “must”,which are behavior of parent’s authorities.These stiff words force the further communication between the two generations.From comparisons, American parents often tell their children that how they love or care of their children, that is simple meal to them.They also express their appreciations with encouraging words in American family .The American parents pay great attention to individual quality and emotional communication, the family mainly expand with the construction and the cultivation of emotion.

3.Conclusion

American famous writer John Brasal said in his best seller Family May Hurt You When a person grow up, all his behaviors are determined by family environment when he was a child.Every child grows up under his parents’family education, what kind a person will be, depends on what kind of family education he received.Children’s character and destiny are connected closely to family education.From what has been discussed above, we may see that either the Chinese tradition of family education or that of the Western family education tradition has its own strong points, they all take root in respective traditional cultural soil.If we change our point of view, we can find that American family education has some side effects and Chinese advantage.

On the whole, no matter what disadvantage or miss, our family education can forward beyond a right way if parents grasp the family educational principle and method well.Every child is a precious existing; they have their own personality, so they should have their own educational method which suit for them best.If we can follow these changing,Chinese family education will go to a bright future, American also can get something they lack of from our family education.