广东 刘艳香

家庭教育包括爱的教育、尊重教育、诚信教育等。而一个家庭首先要有爱，懂得爱的父母才能培养出友爱、善良、阳光、勇敢的孩子，有爱的孩子才懂得感恩。当家庭面临困境，这些品质会成为家庭最强大的力量，帮助亲人熬过艰难时期，迎来家庭希望的曙光。本期跟着名著学续写之家庭教育专题将以《铁路少年》里面的主角三姐弟为例，阐释家庭教育的三部曲：爱的教育，爱的传递，爱的回报。

主题微语境

《铁路少年》是英国女作家伊迪丝·内斯比特的著作。在这个故事中，三姐弟经历父亲蒙冤被捕，家道中落，随母亲从城市搬到铁路附近的乡下居住。得益于父母潜移默化的爱的教育，爱的种子早已根植于三姐弟心中。他们善良、勇敢，既能早早理解母亲养育他们的艰辛和因父亲不在身边所饱受的心理痛苦，也能在身处困境时传递爱的光芒：机智地避免了一场可怕的铁路事故，众筹礼物帮珀克斯过生日，还救助了一名在隧道中摔伤的少年……他们友爱、高尚的行为最终得到了回报：在老先生的帮助下，爸爸无罪释放。

一、亲人爱的教育

1.Mother was almost always at home, ready to play with the children, or to read to them.妈妈几乎一直待在家里，陪孩子们玩，或者读故事给他们听。

2.These three lucky children had everything that they needed, pretty clothes, a warm house and lots of toys.They also had a wonderful father who was never angry,and always ready to play a game.这三个幸运的孩子拥有他们想要的一切——漂亮的衣服，温暖的家，还有好多好多的玩具。他们还有一个好爸爸，他从不发脾气，而且经常陪孩子们玩游戏。

3....and Father looked at it very carefully.Mother and the children waited.

“Is there any hope?”said Peter.

“Of course there's hope!”said Father, smiling.“I'll mend it on Saturday, and you can all help me.”

爸爸仔细检查了那个火车头，妈妈和孩子们在旁边等着。

“没有希望修好吗？”彼得问。

“当然有希望！”爸爸微笑着说，“星期六我给你修好，你们都可以来帮我。”

4.Her face was very white,but she tried to smile.她虽然仍然是面色苍白，但还是努力露出一丝微笑。

5.And Mother was very angry indeed.“Now listen,it's true that we're poor,”she told them,“but you must not tell everyone.And you must never,never ask a stranger to give you things.”妈妈的确很生气。“现在你们听着，我们确实很穷，”她告诉孩子们，“但是你们不能跟任何人说。永远不能，永远不能向陌生人索要东西。”

6....Soon, Mother was crying with them.“I'll write a letter to the old gentleman and thank him,”she said.“You can give it to the Station Master to give him.Now we won't say any more about it.”……很快，妈妈也和他们一起哭了起来。“我会给那位老先生写封信并向他表示感谢的，”她说，“你们可以请站长把信转交给他。现在什么都别再说了。”

表1 “亲人爱的教育”写作分析

（续表）

二、爱的传递

△关怀父母，爱护手足

1.Bobbie saw her face when she turned away.“Oh, Mother,”she thought.“How brave you are!How I love you!”当妈妈把脸转开时，博比看清了她的脸。“呵，妈妈，”她心想，“你是多么勇敢呀！我太爱你了！”

2.“Cold meat and apple pie for breakfast!”laughed Peter.“How funny!”

But their supper made a wonderful breakfast.

All day,they helped Mother to unpack and arrange everything in the rooms.

“早餐吃冷肉和苹果派！”彼得大笑，“太滑稽了！”

但是，昨天的晚饭现在成了一顿不错的早餐。

整整一天，孩子们都在帮妈妈打开箱子，归置房间的东西。

3.But as time passed, their questions seemed to make Mother unhappy, so they stopped asking them.But they never forgot him.但是随着时间的流逝，他们发现这些问题好像让妈妈很伤感，所以他们也就不再问这一类问题了，但是他们从来没有忘记他。

4.Bobbie thought about Father often.She knew her mother was unhappy, and she worried a lot about that.博比常常思念爸爸。她知道妈妈心里不高兴。她一直在为此担心。

5.Bobbie and Phyllis stepped out of the darkness.

“We did it, too,”Bobbie told the Station Master.“We helped carry the coal away,and we knew where Peter was getting it.”

“No,you didn't,”said Peter angrily.“It was my idea.”

“We did know,”said Bobbie.“We pretended we didn't,but we did.”

博比和菲利斯从黑暗中走了出来。

“我们也参加了，”博比告诉站长，“我们帮忙把煤运走，而且我们也知道彼得是在哪里弄到的煤。”

“不，不关你们的事，”彼得生气地说，“这是我的主意。”

“我们的确知道（你是从哪儿弄到的煤），”博比说，“我们假装不知道，其实我们都知道。”

表2 “关怀父母，爱护手足”写作分析

△关心社会，挽救火车

1.They watched as the trees moved on and on, grass and stones moving with them.Then a big rock began to move as well,and suddenly half the hillside was moving.A second or two later, everything came crashing down in a big heap on the railway line below.他们看着那些树动呀，动呀，青草和石头也随着它们一起移动。紧跟着，有一块大岩石也开始动了，突然间半边山都动了起来。一两秒之后，所有这些东西一下子都坍塌到下面的铁路上，堆成了一大堆。

2.“It's right across the line!”said Phyllis,feeling a little frightened now.“正好都堆在铁路上！”菲利斯说，这会儿她感到有点儿害怕了。

3.Next, they pushed two of the flags on the heaps of stones between the lines.Then Bobbie and Phyllis each took one,and Peter took the other two.然后，他们把两面旗子插在铁路中间的石头堆上。接下来，博比和菲利斯每人拿一面旗子，彼得拿起另外两面。

4.“Get back,Bobbie,”shouted Peter.

But Bobbie did not move from the line.She waved and waved her flags, shouting“Stop,stop!”as the big black engine came towards her.

“回来，博比！”彼得大喊。

但是博比并没有从铁轨上走开。她拼命地挥舞手中的小旗子，还一边大喊“停下，停下来！”此时巨大的黑色的火车头正向她开过来。

表3 “关心社会，挽救火车”写作分析

△关照他人，救助伤者

1.The train came towards them,and the noise got louder and louder.Then it was coming past, and they could feel the hot air and smell the smoke.They pushed themselves flat against the tunnel wall.火车向他们驶来，声音越来越大。然后，火车便呼啸而过，他们能感受到热浪，能闻到烟气。孩子们紧贴在隧道的墙上。

2.Peter took the end of a candle from his pocket,and his hand was shaking when he hit with a match.“C-Come on,”he said.And the three went deeper into the darkness of the tunnel.彼得从口袋里掏出一小截蜡烛，在他用火柴点蜡烛的时候，手一直在颤抖。“跟，跟上来。”他说。于是，他们三个一起往黑暗隧道的更深处走去。

3.Bobbie watched their figures disappear, and then put her little candle beside the boy's foot.She used Peter's knife to cut off the boot, and then she looked at the broken leg.“It needs something soft under it,”she thought, and then remembered her petticoat.She took it off and carefully put it under the boy's leg.博比目送他们的身影消失在黑暗中，然后她把手中的小蜡烛放在男孩儿的脚边。她用彼得的那把刀割开男孩儿的靴子，看了看那条摔折的腿。“这条腿需要用软一点的东西垫一垫。”她脑子里闪过这样的念头，她又想到了自己的衬裙。她脱掉衬裙，把它小心地垫到男孩儿的腿下。

表4 “关照他人，救助伤者”写作分析

三、爱的回报：环境的变好、父亲的回归

1.Life at the white house was never quite the same again.Jim's leg got better and better, and he told them stories about his school.And now Mother was not writing stories every day,so she was able to teach the children their lesson.白色小屋子里的生活发生了巨大的变化。吉姆的腿恢复得越来越好，他经常给他们讲发生在自己学校的故事。现在妈妈也不必每天写故事了，因此她就有时间教孩子们一些功课。

2.But now...hands and handkerchiefs and newspapers waved from every window of the train,and smiling faces looked up at the children on the fence.但是现在……列车的每一个窗口都挥着手和手绢或者报纸，一张张笑脸注视着篱笆墙上的孩子们。

3.But the trees and the flowers all seemed to be waiting for something to happen.但是，（院子里的）树木和鲜花好像也在期待着什么事情的发生。

4.“Oh! My daddy, my daddy!”cried Bobbie.That scream went like a knife into the heart of everyone on the train.“哦！我的爸爸，我的爸爸！”博比叫着。这叫声像一把尖刀一样，直刺进火车上每个人的心间。

5.Bobbie went into the house,trying to find the right words to tell Mother that Father had come home.Father was walking in the garden—waiting.He was looking at the flowers,but he kept turning towards the house.博比进了家，她绞尽脑汁，想用最合适的话告诉妈妈，爸爸已经回来了。爸爸此刻就在花园里转悠着呢——他也在等待着。虽然他的眼睛瞧着院子里的鲜花，可他却不住地回转身朝房子那边观望。

表5 “爱的回报”写作分析

句式微练习

一、活用简单句和并列句

简单的句式具有不断扩展出长难句的生命力，在描绘周围环境或现场情况的同时可以补充人物的情绪、心理描写，生动形象地描写出故事的场景、画面。

Mother, Peter, and Phyllis were standing near the table, and there were twelve lighted candles on it,one for each of Bobbie's years.妈妈、彼得和菲利斯正站在桌子旁，桌子上点着12支蜡烛，每一支代表着一岁。(there be结构、并列句、同位语）

The next moment, the railway lines began to shake and a train came screaming out of the tunnel.转眼间，他们看见铁轨开始颤动，一列火车从隧道中呼啸而出。(并列句、现在分词作伴随状语）

即学即练

1.（2022·福建福州模拟预测）My father nodded with a smile on his face____________________（母亲热情地拥抱着我说）“You are my pride,dear.”

2.(2021·新高考Ⅰ卷)But Jeff's hand touched the hot burner__________________(他发出了痛苦的叫声).

二、带宾语补足语句式

描述多个动作或场景时，表示其中一个动作的动词作谓语，表示其他动作的动词作宾语补足语或伴随状语，使描述更准确生动。

And there, down the hill from their new house, is the railway, with its shining lines leading all the way back to London.那儿，在他们新家的山下，有一条铁路，这条闪亮的铁路一直通向伦敦。(倒装句、with的复合结构）

There was a pretty handkerchief with flowers on it.这儿有一块有花形图案的漂亮手绢。(there be结构、with的复合结构）

It sounded like small animals running up and down.听上去像是小动物蹿上蹿下的声音。（现在分词作宾补）

即学即练

1.（江苏南京一中2023届一模）When I went home,a card was found in my notebook____________________(上面写有一句话“一切皆可能”).

2.（粤湘名校联盟2023届联考）____________________(带着墙上照片勾起的美好回忆),Cody said,“I'll do it.”

三、倒装句式+定语从句

倒装句式能丰富句子，让表达更地道，后接定语从句让叙述更加具体详尽。

On the sheet were thick black letters that read: LOOK OUT AT THE STATION.白布上用又粗又黑的字体写着：到车站时请往窗外看看。

But then came the awful night when the Station Master was waiting for Peter in the station yard.但是，那个倒霉的夜晚终于到来了，车站站长在车站的院中等着彼得。

即学即练

1.On one side of the big station yard ____________________(有一大堆煤), which the station trains used for their engine.

2.（2022 春·安徽阜阳高一期末考）He pulled his hand out of the bag and in it was a Webster Slaughter's signed photo, ____________________(上面写有一些字：献给我最伟大的粉丝).

四、状语（非谓语短语、形容词短语）+主句

句子与短语灵活组合，增加句式的复杂性，状语常常用于描述周围环境或者描绘人物的动作、情绪、心理，可放在句首或句末，增强感染力，使描述更生动形象。

“You've often wanted something to happen,”said Mother, lighting the candle again.“你们一直盼望着有什么事情发生，”妈妈一边说着，一边重新点着了蜡烛。

即学即练

1.（2022 秋·浙江省龙游中学高二校联考）____________________(听到她真诚的感谢),Ben flushed,lowered his head and muttered a thank you.

2.(2022·福建龙岩一模) Finally, Dad got three of them into the boat where Lizzy finally closed her eyes, ____________________(精疲力竭，松了一口气)。

五、无灵主语句式

把情绪等无生命的事物作主语，这既可变换句式，也能突出人物的心理、情感，从多种视角进行描写，让表达更有力量感。

That scream went like a knife into the heart of everyone on the train.这叫声像一把尖刀一样，直刺进火车上每个人的心间。

A busy week followed,packing everything up in boxes.接下来的一个星期显得非常忙碌，他们把所有的东西都打包装箱。

即学即练

1.（2020.1·浙江卷）____________________（我的心狂跳）, not knowing what to do.

2.After a while, ____________________（他们看到黑暗中有一个模模糊糊的轮廓）.

情境微仿写

（改编自2022 年山东淄博一模读后续写）I started to plot.Then, 1.____________________（我想到了一个好主意：用一个盒子把我送到我姐姐家）.I knew if I pulled this off,my grand arrival would be the best present I could ever give my sister.I frantically started googling mail companies.Fortunately, I came across a mail company named Couriers Please and 2.____________________(令我惊喜的是，他们经理答应帮助我实现梦想).The next day, they found a box big enough for me to hide in.The big clock strikes again!

3.____________________（我躲在大箱子里，听到邮差按我姐姐家的门铃）.They announced they had a delivery for her.4.____________________（当盒子被打开时，她看到我坐在里面微笑着看着她）, my sister was at a complete loss for words and burst into tears.I would never forget the look on her face.It was such a gift to be able to attend my sister's graduation to show her my love, and 5.____________________（这是我们两个人将永远珍惜的回忆）.

语篇微演练

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。注意续写词数应为150左右。

主题语境：信念如磐，成功脱险

It's a beautiful sunny day.The Bonds boarded their boat for a carefree day trip to Dove Island for some fishing as a family custom.Thomas Bond,a 30-year-old construction worker,loved the sport,especially catching bass (鲈鱼)and had impressed on his oldest daughter, Lizzy, a lover of the outdoors, teaching her how to bait (下诱饵) a hook and cast a line and brave the waves.

The family spent the day fishing in the vast ocean,and then left the island in the early evening.Upon setting off from the shore, they found thick fog rolling in.Lizzy fell into a light sleep beside her five-year-old sister,Molly,at a table on the boat's lower deck(甲板).Their father's sharp orders woke her up,“Get out of the boat.The boat's sinking!”Lizzy pushed her sister into the cold dark water.Both girls wore life jackets.The adults did not.The girls were followed by their mother,Petra Bond,who was expecting a baby at that time.Within seconds,the boat was damaged and was left just the tip of its bow in the air.

Looking into the faces of her father, her mother, and her sister, Lizzy wasn't frightened.After some time, her father told them he would swim for help.“I'll be back,”he said before disappearing into the darkness.

“Dad is like the superhero to me.I believe he will get help to rescue us,”Lizzy said to herself.After some time,her mother became quiet and stopped swimming.Lizzy wrapped a rope around her mother's chest and tied her to the boat so she wouldn't float away.Then her sister fell quiet too and she stayed beside her.

To keep herself awake, Lizzy daydreamed about what they would do after they were rescued.They would stay in a hotel,order room service,and lie comfortably under the blankets in bed,cozy and warm.

Paragraph 1:

After several hours,Lizzy heard her name called in the distance.____________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:

On the coast,an ambulance was waiting for them.______________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________