刘佳娴

张超  男 河北省衡水市阜城县第四中学高级英语教师、市英语优秀教师、县骨干教师，从事英语教育教学工作29年;多年来，在省级以上报刊《中学生英语》《学英语》《英语周报》《中学生英语读写》《中学英语园地》《英语辅导》《校园英语》等发表文章数百篇，并有多篇论文获奖;曾参编高中版教辅资料《天天向上》及《三维方案》的编写工作，并荣获“中央教育科学研究所全国基础教育科研先进个人”荣誉称号;多次辅导多名学生在市、省、国家级英语竞赛中获奖。

It was the weekend yesterday， so I didnt have to go to school as usual. Dad was on business and Mom went to the supermarket. I was lonely① at home.

“Wow，” I said to myself， “its time for me to enjoy the good times today！” So I began to play football at home after finished② my homework. Suddenly， I kicked the ball so hard that it hit a vase and broke it. It was my moms favorite. I decided to tell my mom it was the fault of the cat because I was afraid she will③ come back and beat me. Two hours later， mom got home. However， on second thought， I told my mom what true④ happened. Instead of beating me， Mom said to myself⑤， “Honesty is the most important thing and I hope you can learn to be honest even when no one sees what happens.”

I would never make such a foolish mistake.

1. 优点：

打碎妈妈的花瓶这是一件很普通的小事，但是小作者卻从中明白了一个道理：无论做错任何事，都要勇于去承认，因为错误的态度比错误本身更可怕。人，要学会诚实。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① lonely改为alone。lonely指“孤独的”，而alone是指“独自的”，不强调主观感受，be alone at home意为“独自在家”。

② finished改为finishing。介词after后面接动名词。

③ will改为would。would表示过去的将来。

④ true改为truly。副词truly意为“真实地，不假”，修饰实义动词happened。

⑤ myself改为me。该句意为“妈妈对我说”，而不能写为“妈妈对我自己说”。

3. 评分：

按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准，本文修改前可得18分。