张超

【栏目要求】

1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩； 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号；

3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由； 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>；

5. 请点评名师提供简历一份，包括：学校、职务、职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。

投稿邮箱： zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com

来稿请寄： 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收

男 河北省衡水市阜城县第四中学高级英语教师、市英语优秀教师、县骨干教师，从事英语教育教学工作29年；多年来，在省级以上报刊《中学生英语》《学英语》《英语周报》《中学生英语读写》《中学英语园地》《英语辅导》《校园英语》等发表文章数百篇，并有多篇论文获奖；曾参编高中版教辅资料《天天向上》《三维方案》的编写工作；曾荣获“中央教育科学研究所全国基础教育科研先进个人”荣誉称号；多次辅导多名学生在省、市和国家级英语竞赛中获奖。

Love means giving. Love means paying attention to others. Love means giving warmth to the one you love. Love also means understanding.

Love is around us. I remembered① clearly that last Friday， I was excited during the last class in the afternoon. Because I would watch a table tennis match between Zhang Jike and Liu Guoliang on TV that evening. I looked forward to go② home earlier. But on my way home， I happened to see a little girl of six or seven standing by the roadside and cried③. I found that she lost her way. So I went over to ask her where she lived. Well， she knew it. Then I sent her home. His parents were so deeply moved that they said thank you repeatedly.

Love is giving and love is paying attention to others. Although I missed the table tennis match， but④ I felt happy. Why？ I believe everyone should know the reason. And as usually⑤， I will try my best to give all my love to others in future.

河北省阜城县第四中学九（8）班 王志康

1. 優点：

本文记叙的是一篇关于发生在身边的关于“爱”的小故事。小作者先是阐述了爱的含义，继而列举自己亲身经历的一件表达爱心的事例，并描述此事带给自己的影响，表达了自己做完好事之后愉悦的心情及对爱的感悟。该习作思路清晰、语言丰富、表达流畅，是一篇佳作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① remembered改为remember。这里“记得”是指现在记得，故要用一般现在时态。

② go改为going。短语look forward to中to是介词，后接名词或动名词。

③ cried改为crying。crying和前面standing并列作宾语补足语。

④ 去掉but。英语里表达转折关系时although和but只能用其一。

⑤ as usually改为as usual。as ususl是固定短语，意为“一如既往”。

3. 评分：

按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准，本文修改前可得17分。