（but you probably wont like them）

Whats the best time to visit Beijing？ My friends are looking forward to having a good time here.

Lucy Loves Beijing

Some will tell you its May when the air is clean and the temperature is just right， but I wont 蒙骗 （m8ngpi3n， deceive） you with a 幻影 （hu3ny@ng， illusion） of Beijing life. Also， you cant just 走马观花 （z6um2 gu`nhu`， “look at flowers while riding on horseback”， gain a superficial understanding through cursory observation） on your tour of a foreign country. I say， 入乡随俗（r&xi`ngsu！s%， when in Rome， do as the Romans do）. Come to stay for a month in winter when its the coldest and smoggiest. You get to wear a 口罩（k6uzh3o， face mask） every day—a quintessential Beijing experience！ Hang out at the train station when everyone is trying to leave for the holiday season; facing the 人山人海（r9nsh`n r9nh2i， a sea of people）， you will gain a deeper understanding of our culture. Such a pity you missed it all， better luck next year！

My friends always ask me to buy designer bags， cosmetics， and perfumes whenever I make a trip abroad. Its such a hassle， what should I do？

Susan Smuggler

Wheres your 创业精神 （chu3ngy- j～ngsh9n， entrepreneurial spirit）？ You should advertise your service online and charge your friends. Even my son started a 網络公司（w2nglu7 g4ngs～， internet company）. He helps people move house with his secondhand van， and get this： he put his contact information on WeChat. He said its called互联网思维 （w&li1nw2ng s～w9i， internet thinking）. Youve clearly discovered a 痛点 （t7ngdi2n， pain point）， so take advantage of that. Theres even a 天使投资人（ti`nsh@ t5uz～r9n， angel investor） among my 广场舞（gu2ngch2ngw^， dance in a public square） pals who would like to meet you...

Why do movies today suck so bad？ Theres nothing worth seeing in the theater！

                Annoyed Alex

你在说什么？（N@ z3i shu4 sh9nme？ What are you talking about？ ） You are obviously not the 目标观众 （m&bi`o gu`nzh7ng， target audience）. Just look at the票房 （pi3of1ng， box office）; billions and billions of RMB dont lie. There is clearly plenty to see. The青春题材 （q～ngch$n t！c1i， teenage romance） where everyone ends up dead; the 爱情喜剧 （3iq！ng x@j&， romantic comedy） where the girl and the rich guy live happily ever after; the 魔幻题材（m5hu3n t！c1i， fantasy） films with cheap special effects…You are just the wrong guy to appreciate the wonder of it all.

Got questions for our Agony Ayi？ Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com