by Transpire Roza 译

一位跨性别者的自白

by Transpire Roza 译

一年多以前，脸谱网新增了56种非传统性别选项供用户选择。对于大多数脸谱用户，这一变化只是增添了茶余饭后的谈资，但对于某些用户却影响深远。虽然这一更新能够反映全球的社会风气在一定程度上变得更加开明，但是全球各地真正的非传统性别者的生活各方面仍处于艰难的境地——只有极少数踏入娱乐圈并成名的人能够幸免。平凡的非传统性别者过着怎样的生活？下文这篇跨性别者的心路历程告诉我们，全球范围内性别平等的实现依旧任重而道远。

I am an AFAB (assigned female at birth) transman. I use male pronouns. I knew I was male at 3. I came out as transgender to myself when I was 13, to my parents at 14, and to my extended family at 18. I began taking1)testosterone at 17, and legally changed my name at 18. A surprising number of people think that the trans process is short and simple. Many trans people, myself included, are asked if we’ve had “the operation” (a rude question,) as if that’s the only thing involved in being trans. It’s interesting, because my personal transition has involved years of self-discovery, revelations, hardships, medications, doctors, psychologists,2)endocrinologists, gender specialists...and it will eventually involve not one operation, but roughly six surgeries over the course of many years!

我是一名跨性别者，出生时为女性。我使用男性人称代词。我三岁的时候就意识到我在心理上是男性。在13岁时，我在心理上认同了自己的跨性别者身份，14岁时对父母坦白，而家里其他亲戚则在我18岁时才知道这件事。我17岁时开始服用睾丸激素，18岁时更改了我的法定名字。认为易性过程很短很简单的人数量多得惊人。包括我自己在内的很多跨性别者都被问及我们有没有进行“手术”（真是无礼的问题），仿佛易性就只涉及这么一件事。有趣的是，我个人的易性过程牵涉多年的自我发现、自我揭露、重重困难、药物治疗、医生、心理医生、内分泌学家、性别专家……而且易性的过程将经历不止一场手术，而是历时多年的六次手术！

1) testosterone [te'stɒstərəʊn] n. 睾丸激素，睾丸甾酮

2) endocrinologist [,endəʊkrɪ'nɒlədʒɪst] n. 内分泌学家

3) reassignment [,rɪ'əsaɪnmənt] n. 再赋值，再分配

4) mastectomy [mæ'stektəmɪ] n. 乳房切除手术，乳腺摘除手术

5) mortifying ['mɔːtɪfaɪɪŋ] adj. 痛心的，叫人怄气的

Gender3)Reassignment Surgery is an unattainable luxury for many. When I was 21, I was on the waiting list to have my top surgery (a double4)mastectomy and chest reconstruction) done through my insurance. Unfortunately, I had to move out of state and lost that insurance. Few insurance providers in Nevada cover transgender care. I do not have the $10,000 for that procedure. For all of the surgical care I require, it would cost over $150,000 out of pocket, or the equivalent of buying two houses in my town.

I never dressed “like a girl.” Shopping was an ordeal for both my mother and I. From a young age, I insisted on shopping in the boy’s section. I got a lot of disapproving looks from adults in the store, but I never let anybody tell me how I was supposed to feel. I shaved my head when I was 8. That was the last time my mother ever let my sister take me for a haircut. Since I hacked off most of my own hair when I was 4, I’m sure it could not have been much of a surprise.

变性手术对很多人来说是高不可攀的奢侈消费。