Greg Bellow

On a visit to Chicago when I was eight, I witnessed a terrible argument, in Yiddish1. Yiddish： 意第绪语，中东欧犹太人及其在各国的后裔说的一种从高地德语派生的语言。,between my father and grandfather.Driving away from his father’s house, Saul started to cry so bitterly he had to pull off the road. After a few minutes, he excused his lapse of self-control by saying, “It’s okay for grownups to cry.” I knew his heart was breaking. I knew because of the bond between my father’s tender heart and mine.

I grew up in a household filled with books and lively conversation, bound together by a commitment to seeking and telling the truth. I came to share the value my parents placed on culture,which included the quiet solitude2. solitude： 独处，隐居。that my father thought essential to writing. His study door was firmly closed every morning, a sign of the barrier Saul drew between writing and living. For decades I ferociously3. ferociously： 残忍地，凶猛地。protected his privacy, literary and personal, which both of us connected with those

hours of his writing day. As a child I learned not to disturb him. As an adult I turned a blind eye to the literary persona and to the public furor over his fame, which reached an apex in Stockholm.After 1976 I boycotted all events held in his honor.Saul became offended, but I felt the limelight contaminated the private bond I was trying to protect.4. limelight： 聚光灯，这里指面对公众的曝光；contaminate：污染，弄脏。

格雷格·贝娄的书《索尔·贝娄的内心：一个儿子的回忆》

八岁那年，我在芝加哥亲眼目睹了一场用意第绪语进行的可怕争执，争吵双方是我的父亲与祖父。从祖父家开车回程的途中，索尔，我的父亲，失声痛哭，以至于不得不把车停在路旁。过了好几分钟，父亲才为自己的情绪失控作出解释：“大人哭鼻子也是正常的。”我当时已能明白他的心碎。我能明白是因为在我与父亲的柔弱心灵之间有着一条不可割裂的纽带。

我成长在一个充满书籍与欢声笑语的家庭环境中，这样的家庭环境还要求每位成员恪守寻求和辨明真理的承诺。我慢慢学会了分享父母赋予家庭文化的价值，其中包括安静独处，父亲认为这对于写作来说至关重要。每天清晨，父亲书房的门都紧闭着，这扇门是一个符号，是他将写作与生活隔开的屏障。几十年来，我竭力保护着父亲文学创作与个人生活的隐私，这也是在父亲写作的日子里我与他的共通之处。小时候，我就学会不去打扰父亲。长大成人以后，我对他笔下的文学形象以及公众对父亲声望的狂热故意视而不见，特别是在斯德哥尔摩的时候。1976年以后，我抵制了所有以父亲名义举办的活动。父亲被激怒了，而我却感到外界的过度曝光玷污了我力图保护的那层父子私人关系。……