大学交友众生相

2014-08-26RegaJha赵青奇

新东方英语·中学版 2014年8期

Rega+Jha　赵青奇

大学就像一个大熔炉，汇聚了来自五湖四海的莘莘学子，每个人都希望自己能在美好的大学时光里结识各色各样的朋友。鉴于此，我们特地为大家搜罗了大学里可能会遇到的11类朋友，供诸位参考。

1. The Overachiever1）

Defining Traits： This person is president， chair， captain， or founder of every club they're in.

You're Friends Because： Being around them is like being around a human pep talk2）. They make you want to step up your game3）.

Catchphrase4）： "Sorry， gotta run to a meeting."

2. The Genuine Academic

Defining Traits： They have read more books than you've seen in your whole life ... Not because it's assigned， but because they're interested in the world.

You're Friends Because： Let's be real. Without them around to explain things to you， you'd be an idiot.

Catchphrase： "Yeah， The Atlantic had a story about it last month."

3. The English Major

Defining Traits： Uncontrollable instinct to correct your grammar， speaks half in literary quotations， has etched5） a couplet6） into their desk at some point.

You're Friends Because： You need someone to proofread your papers ... And keep you literate.

Catchphrase： "The book is so much better， you guys."

4. The Athlete

Defining Traits： They're two different people depending on whether or not their sport is in season. Disciplined as all hell. Sweatpant7） chic8）.

You're Friends Because： Their perfect and able body motivates you to put down the Cheetos9） and pick up the dumb-bells10）.

Catchphrase： "Sorry， man， gotta run to practice."

5. The Slacker11） Genius

Defining Traits： They go out more than you and get better grades than you. You've never witnessed them doing homework， but the homework is always done.

You're Friends Because： We all need heroes.

Catchphrase： "Wanna get high？"

6. The Start-up Whiz12）

Defining Traits： They have a different genius business idea every week. Swear they thought of Twitter before Twitter thought of Twitter.

You're Friends Because： It's nice to see someone so genuinely excited about making life easier. And you never know when they'll drop out.

Catchphrase： "The next big thing."

7. The Socialite13）

Defining Traits： Nobody knows why or how they know this person but literally everybody knows this person.

You're Friends Because： I mean， who knows？ But they're super nice and you don't mind it so ...

Catchphrase： "Oh my god， it is SO good to see you！"

8. The Internet Savvy14）endprint

Defining Traits： Live-tweeting expert. Everything on their Facebook gets over 50 likes. Use hashtags15） and abbreviations IRL. Higher Klout16） score than you.

You're Friends Because： You need someone to text asking what "IRL" and "Klout" mean.

Catchphrase： "Omg， one sec， I wanna Instagram17） this really quick."

9. The Alternative Friend

Defining Traits： Cooler clothes than you， cooler musical taste than you， cooler hobbies than you， cooler parties than you， cooler weekend plans than you.

You're Friends Because： Refer to "Defining Traits".

Catchphrase： "I'm not a hipster18）， man."

10. The Comedian

Defining Traits： Member of at least one improv19） group. MC20） of every major campus event.

You're Friends Because： You like laughter and you like happiness and those are things this person provides.

Catchphrase： "So a guy walked into a bar ..."

11. The Wall Streeter

Defining Traits： Usually spotted power-walking21） to or from somewhere， carrying a resume folder， wearing a suit. Can smooth-talk22） anyone into anything.

You're Friends Because： This person is a truly inspiring embodiment23） of the "work hard， play hard" life philosophy. Best companion for all-nighters24）.

Catchphrase： "Let me check my calendar and get back to you."

1.佼佼者

标志特征：这种人是他们加入的各大社团的会长、主席、队长或创始人。

交友原因：跟这些人相处就像一直在聆听他们激励人心的讲话一样。他们让你想奋发图强。

口头禅：“不好意思，要赶个会。”

2. 学术帝

标志特征：他们读过的书比你这辈子见过的书都多……不是因为读书是作业要求，而是因为他们痴迷大千世界。

交友原因：咱们说真的，没他们给你科普一下，你就是一白痴。

口头禅：“对了，上个月的《大西洋月刊》登过一篇相关报道。”

3. 英语专业学生

标志特征：他们总是抑制不住冲动要纠正你的语法，说的话中有一半是在引经据典，还曾在书桌上刻过两行诗句。

交友原因：你需要找人校对你的论文……还可以保持你的文学修养。