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雅思写作如何结尾?

2018-01-04唐老雅

英语世界 2017年10期
关键词:雅思双边解决办法

文/唐老雅

雅思写作如何结尾?

文/唐老雅1

雅思作文如何结尾?这对很多烤鸭来说,可能是一个很纠结的问题。其实,老雅首先希望表明的是,没有任何一种形式或模板是万能的,不管你的所谓雅思名师告诉你该怎么样怎么样,也都只是一种选择而已,它可能在这里很合适,但在另外的地方就不那么合适。因此,合适永远是写作最高的标准,而合适来自什么地方?来自你的英语水平和感觉。

老雅喜欢把写作与体操运动联系起来。你一套动作完美无缺,难度又高,那当然是高分;你一套动作完美无缺,难度低,那得分也不错;你一套动作难度高,却老掉下器械,得分肯定低;如果一套动作难度低,也老掉下器械,那当然就是灾难了!

按照雅思写作三大出题类型/写作思路,老雅归纳了以下三种结尾方式:

(1)一边倒型:完全同意/反对题目中的一方观点。

结尾:再次重述观点,并总结前文给出的理由。(30—50字即可)

(2)双边讨论型:对双方观点的优劣进行讨论。

结尾:总结双方观点,提出自己的判断标准和结论:即倾向于更赞同某一方,还是认为双方应互补,或者认为双方都有缺陷,因此应该提出一个更合理的观点。(一般需要50—80字)

(3)问题解决型:分析问题/现象产生的原因,提出解决办法。

结尾:问题/现象的解决办法。(一般需要100字以上)

举例1:一边倒型

Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants and canteens. Do you agree or disagree?

【范文】

Everyone has to eat. The question is, where to eat? You may cook and eat at home, or just eat out in restaurants or canteens. My personal opinion is that eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out.

First, it has no doubt that cooking and eating at home can save a lot of money. Generally, the cost of eating in restaurants is much higher than eating at home. By cooking at home, you don’t have to pay the labor fee for the chef,and don’t have to pay tips to the waiter. What you have to do is just a little hand operation and a little time. From supermarkets, you can buy cheap vegetables and meat, which may cost only 10 percent of the same food in a restaurant.Sometimes, you can get cheaper food in discount time. Especially, a big family may enjoy the method, as the monthly cost would be less.

Second, you can freely select your favorite food to cook. A restaurant cannot always provide you with delicious food. The taste of food in restaurants is usually designed for the public, which is not suitable for a particular guest. If you miss the taste of your mum’s soup, it’s not likely to fi nd the same one in a restaurant.In this case, the best choice is to cook by yourself, to reproduce your mum’s food to the best you can.

Finally, it’s obvious that eating at home is more healthy and clean. You don’t know whether it’s dirty in the restaurants, and also you don’t know whether the food is fresh. But by cooking at home, you can know everything about the cooking materials. Moreover, it’s easy to control the usage of fat and oil, unless you don’t care to become too fat.

In brief, I believe that eating at home is healthy and clean. If people want to save money, eating at home is also a good choice. In addition, people can cook what they like as well. So I personally prefer eating at home.

Band:7(难度较低、完成质量高的动作)

老雅评析:

本习作采用的是一边倒型结构。开头段即表明自己的观点:在家吃饭更好。接下来三段从三个方面论述在家吃饭的好处:(1)在家吃饭省钱;(2)在家可吃自己最喜欢的饭菜;(3)在家吃饭更健康卫生。最后一段为结尾段。各位烤鸭注意,这三个原因的先后顺序安排符合一个逻辑顺序:从物质层次(钱)—心理层次(喜欢)—社会层次(健康卫生)。

结尾段里,作者用三句话总结前面讲的三大原因:eating at home is healthy and clean; eating at home also saves money; people can cook what they like if they eat at home。最后一句结论:我宁愿在家吃饭。

本结尾虽然结构清晰,但的确没有什么难度,甚至过于简单了,就像体操中下杠前的动作与前面动作是一模一样的重复,让看客都很无聊。若是老雅来写,可能会玩点儿花(这得根据你自己的情况,不要从杠上掉下来最重要):In brief, I personally prefer eating at home. Besides saving money and being more healthy and clean, eating at home also gives me the freedom to cook whatever I like, and I like this feeling.

举例2:双边讨论型

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

【范文】

It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school. The trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.

The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast, those who have spent some time earning a living or travelling to other places, have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research,as well as giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.

However, there are certainly dangers in taking time off at that important age.Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or fi nding it dif fi cult to re-adapt to an academic environment. They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job or to do something completely different from a university course. But overall I think this is less likely today, when academic quali fi cations are essential for getting a reasonable career.

My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons. That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with such a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and taking a year off may be the best way to gain this.

Band:7.5(难度适中、完成质量较高的动作)

老雅评析:

本习作采用的双边讨论型结构。第一段提出现象,但不表明自己观点;第二段讨论上大学前休假或工作一年的好处,即拓宽视野、积累资源、学会独立;第三段讲此举可能带来的坏处,即很多人再也难以适应大学生活了(顺便表明自己不太赞同这个观点);最后一段结论段。内容并无惊艳之处。

双边讨论的结尾段需要表明自己的观点,并简要说明原因(也就是说到底是什么标准让你选择支持某个观点,或者两个观点都支持,甚或两个观点都反对)。本作文对学生上大学前工作或休假一年表示赞同,原因是可以拓宽视野,接下来讲为什么拓宽视野很重要:拓宽视野就可以帮助他们清楚地知道生活需要什么,而知道了生活需要什么,他们就会变得非常有效率、有动力。这个结尾段显得非常有效:观点明确,支持观点的理由充分。值得注意的是,在双边讨论作文中,由于前面讨论双方观点已经占据了很多篇幅,因此,在结尾段,一般不再对自己的结论过多展开论述,而是在前文讨论基础上表明立场,并用一至两句话适当说出自己的理由。在这样的结尾段中,最重要的就是要写出:(1)自己的观点;(2)自己观点的判断标准或者依据(不需详细展开)。

举例3:问题分析/解决型

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

【范文】

There is no doubt that traf fi c and pollution from vehicles have become huge problems, both in cities and on motorways everywhere. Solving these problems is likely to need more than a simple rise in the price of petrol.

While it is undeniable that private car use is one of the main causes of increasing in traffic and pollution, higher fuel costs are unlikely to limit the number of drivers for long. As this policy would also affect the cost of public transport, it would be very unpopular with anyone who needs to travel on the roads. But there are various other measures that could be implemented and would have a huge effect on these problems.

I think to tackle the problem of pollution, cleaner fuels need to be developed.The technology is already available to produce electric cars that would be both quieter and cleaner to use. Persuading manufacturers and travelers to adopt this new technology would be a more effective strategy for improving the air quality,especially in cities.

However, traffic congestion will not be solved by changing the type of private vehicle people can use. To do this, we need to improve the choice of public transport services available to travelers. For example, if suf fi cient sky train and underground train system were built and effectively maintained in our major society, then traf fi c on the roads would be dramatically reduced. Long-distance train and coach services should be made attractive and affordable alternatives to driving your own cars for long journeys.

Band:8(难度较大、完成质量较高的动作)

本题是一个类似讨论+问题解决综合类题型,很少见,但万变不离其宗。第一段提出问题,然后马上就题目观点提出自己意见:上涨油价可能不是解决污染和交通问题的最好办法。第二段论述为什么上涨油价解决不了问题:(1)上涨油价并不能长久限制私人开车;(2)上涨油价会影响公共交通。本段最后一句提出还有其他办法来解决这个问题。第三段论述另外一个办法,即开发新型汽车来降低污染问题。第四段提出,为解决交通问题,需要提供更多交通选择(包括空中火车、地下铁路、长途火车和汽车等)。因此,这篇写作的结构就是:引入段+否定题目观点段+问题解决1段+问题解决2段。当然,本文的第三段和第四段可以合并起来,但可能会显得太长,因此分开还是最好的选择,毕竟两段提出的是不同问题的解决办法。注意:本题中有两个问题需要解决,因此需要提出不同的解决办法。

大家若有兴趣,可以进一步学习本文在提出解决办法时,使用的不同句型:

1)I think to tackle the problem of pollution, cleaner fuels need to be developed.(need to do...引导建议)

2)... if sufficient sky train and underground train system were built and effectively maintained in our major society, then traffic on the roads would be dramatically reduced.(虚拟语气引导建议)

3)Long-distance train and coach services should be made attractive and affordable alternatives to driving your own cars for long journeys.(should 引导建议)

相比而言,我们的同学好像通篇只会用should来引导建议和问题解决方法,学会使用提出建议的不同表达方式,对增加此类作文的得分很有帮助。另外提一句,我们的同学只要一写到问题解决,好像就必须要写“提高……的意识”“政府要加强教育”这样假大空的词句。大家可以学习一下本段中的具体建议,并记住:在雅思作文中拒绝假大空,多点具体实际、贴近生活的内容。

1 唐伟胜,广东外语外贸大学教授,博士,英美文学研究专家。

(与老雅继续交流,请加微信公众号ieltswriting4u)

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