彭晓玲

读后续写中动作描写多，对考生来说难度也高。在此我们一起来学习几个好用的句型，让动作描写更具画面感。

一、实例分析

前文内容梗述：母亲节当天，我和儿子Tenyson在当地超市购物，有一位老妇人在超市摔倒，流了很多血，儿子 Tenyson见此情形，主动提出买花送给老妇人，让人感动……

注意：

1. 续写词数应为150左右

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Para. 1 After a moment， the elderly lady was taken into an ambulance by medical staff and was sent to hospital.___________

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Para. 2 One year later， it was Mother’s Day again._________

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学生习作

After a moment， the elderly lady was taken into an ambulance by medical staff and was sent to hospital. ①The crowd gradually scattered. Tenyson and I went home. ②On our way home， he felt more than concerned and asked me worriedly. “Mom， will the elderly lady be OK since she was too old and sick and she had badly fallen over？”③I looked at him patiently and said，“The elderly lady would be fine since there were so many kind people coming to help her. And you did a wonderful deed， my boy.”

One year later， it was Mother’s Day again. As last year，④ I went shopping at the local supermarket with Tenyson. ⑤Suddenly， Tenyson said excitedly，“Look， Mom， it is that old woman.”⑥Hearing this， I looked that way and saw the elderly lady and her husband. Although she began to feel rigid in her legs， it seemed that she had recovered from her injury. ⑦He walked towards us， hugged my son and whispered to him，“What struck me most at that time was your flower with kindness， my sweet boy.”

分析与提升

该习作中涉及大量的动作描写，但较多地使用and来连接前后动作，整体表达显得过于单调。为了创造生动饱满的动作画面，我们不妨使用以下三招来提升文中句子。

第一招：用现在分词短语来描述接连发生的动作。

句②On our way home， he felt more than concerned and asked me worriedly，“Mom， will the elderly lady be OK？”

提升：On the way home， he felt more than concerned， asking me worriedly，“Mom， will the elderly lady be Ok？”

第二招：用with的复合结构来合并两个意义紧密关联的句子。

句①The crowd gradually scattered. Tenyson and I went home.

提升：With the crowd scattering gradually， Tenyson and I went home.

句③I looked at him patiently and said，“The elderly lady would be fine since there were so many kind people coming to help her. …”

提升：Looking at him patiently， I said，“With so many kind people coming to help her， the elderly lady would be fine. …”

第三招：使用was /were about to do sth when…; was /were doing sth when; hardly… when… /no sooner…than…來描述两个紧接着发生的动作。

句④ I went shopping at the local supermarket with Tenyson. ⑤Suddenly， Tenyson said excitedly， …

提升：We were shopping at the local supermarket when Tenyson cheered up excitedly， ....

二、巩固练习

请根据括号中的中文提示完成英文句子。

第一招：用现在分词短语来描述接连发生的动作。

1. _____________________（咬紧牙关），Ronny jumped to his feet and ran as fast as he could. Finally， he won the match.

2. Ronny felt overjoyed and relieved during the award ceremony，______________________（把奖品放在胸前）.

3. ____________________________________，（在经过一番考虑之后），he decided to give the prize to his sister， Hill.

4.“Hill， see what I have got for you.”Ronny said excitedly， ____________________________（从他的包里拿出奖品）when he arrived home.

第二招：用with的复合结构来连接两个意义紧密关联的动作。

1. The poor little girl was wandering in the street.___________

_______________（有这么多火柴要卖），she had to beg people to buy some. The snowflakes fell on her and she sat down ________________________________（把火柴放在她的腿上）。

2. She lit a match and then saw a beautiful Christmas tree _____________________________  （树上面挂着许多礼物）。

3. She lit another match._____________________________

______（火焰燃烧着），she saw a kind old woman staring at her with smile. Nevertheless， the grandma disappeared_____________

__________（火焰熄灭时）。

4. ______________________________（寒风猛烈地刮着），she struck all the matches so that she could enjoy the meal.

第三招：用was /were about to do sth when…; was /were doing sth when; hardly… when… /no sooner…than…来描述两个接连发生的动作。

1. Tom 一看到火往上冒时，朝Jane大喊”快逃命，否则就晚了”。

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2. 他正要抓起Jane的胳膊拉他走的时候，这时他被一阵噪音吵醒了。

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3. 我正要道别时，Hellen问我吃午饭了吗？

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4. Hellen 得知我还没吃饭时，邀请我和她们共进午餐。

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三、语篇练习

请根据前文内容概述和和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。注意，在续文中注意使用上述三招所讲句型。

练习：前文内容梗述：Chris 和我到Uncle Howard 的农场玩，Uncle Howard送了我们一个火鸡蛋， 并告诉我们如何在25天后孵出火鸡。在我们俩的努力下，第26天终于成功孵出火鸡，并给它取名Timothy。我们俩看着小火鸡一天一天长大，欣喜不已，谁知父母却告知我们火鸡要被用作感恩节大餐。Chris 伤心不已，放声大哭，我也不甘心，安慰Chris：“无论如何要拯救Timothy”。

I then had an idea when I thought of the small cave in the woods.

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However， soon Mom found Timothy missing， and Dad sent us out to look for him…….

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參考答案与范文

巩固练习

第一招

1. Clenching his teeth

2. holding the prize close to his chest

3. taking the prize out of his bag

第二招

1. With a lot of matches to sell， with the matches put on her lap.

2. with many gifts hanging on it

3. with the flame lighting/burning， with the flame going out

4. with the cold wind buffeting heavily

第三招

1. No sooner had Tom noticed the flame reaching up than he shouted to Jane “Run for life now， or it will be too late！”.

2. He was about to grabbed Jane’s arm to pull her away when he was waken up by a noise.

3. I was about to say goodbye when Hellen asked if I had had lunch.

4. No sooner had Hellen known I didn’t  have lunch than she invited me to have lunch with them.

語篇练习

I then had an idea when I thought of the small cave in the woods. It was a cave that was well hidden beneath the bushes and leaves， so it must be the safest place for Timothy. I told Chris the idea of hiding Timothy in that secret cave. Hearing it， Chris agreed with eyes sparkling. 或 Hearing it， Chris stopped crying， smiling with wild joy. Spying on Dad and Mom， we hid ourselves behind the door. No sooner had Dan and Mum gone out than we rushed to the cave with Timothy in my arms. Finally， Timothy had his life saved. With us carrying out the plan successfully， we all fell sound asleep， having a good dream that night.或 After making sure it was safe， we returned home， pretending nothing had happened.

However， soon Mom found Timothy missing， and Dad sent us out to look for him. Suddenly， the happiness of succeeding in hiding Timothy disappeared quickly， which left us in a low spirits. We were in a dilemma whether we would pretend to search for Timothy or tell the truth. Having thought about the situation for a while， we decided to be honest with our parents. After telling our story或Having told our story， we were waiting for our punishment when Dad surprised us most， saying that he has decided to give up the idea of having Timothy for Thanksgiving dish and allowed us to keep Timothy. What a big surprise！ It seemed that my parents understood our true love for Timothy and the craziness children possess in their growth.

责任编辑 蒋小青