浙江 彭文国

【问题导读】

读后续写主要考查考生续写出好故事的能力，而要想续写出一个好的故事，除了要有符合原文风格且逻辑合理的情节构思，还要有对故事的细节的描写。故事的情节正如文章这棵大树的主干，而对细节的描写则是大树的枝叶。 大树有枝又有叶，才可能是一棵完整的、美丽的大树。文章情节合理、细节描写生动传神，才可能是一篇好的文章。多样的、精彩的描写才能造就一个引人入胜的故事。那么，我们怎么才能叙述好一个故事呢？

【名师导学】

1. 描写可以分为动作描写、心理描写和场景描写等。我们在叙述故事的过程中，要根据故事的发展和情景的需要，从心理、动作和场景等方面进行合理的、生动的描写。

2. 在进行细节描写的时候，要注意多样性。 我们既要照顾到信息的各个层面，如动作、心理、场景等，又要注意词汇和句子结构的多样性。

3. 在描写的过程中，我们可以用生动的词汇和高级句式结构，同时也要适当使用修辞手法，如拟人、比喻等。

【案例导引】

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

I have a good neighbor, whose name is Nick. He is tall and warm-hearted. About a half-mile behind our Minnesota farm lay a little pond. In summer, my brother Harry and I would run through a stand of oak trees to skip stones there. The little pond wore a collar of black mud. It was not a place for swimming.

In late summer, the pond would be covered by a green and bubbly scum (起泡的浮垢). Sometimes a strong, unpleasant smell rose from it. We stayed away.

When winter came, the pond was once again an inviting place. One day when ice covered it, Harry said to me, “Try walking across.”

The ice looked solid. No water showed through it, but I hesitated. “Go ahead,” Harry urged. “Try it. You're lighter than I am. If the ice holds, we can run and slide carefully on it. It'll be fun.” I wanted to please Harry, and I thought about the fun of a long slide on the ice. I began to slide across the pond.

In the middle of the pond, the ice gave way to a sudden crack (裂缝)! I stretched out (伸展) my arms. The next thing I knew was that I was hanging on to the edge of a hole in the ice by arms outstretched on the ice. From my shoulders down I hung in icy water. I thought of the bottom of the pond. I knew it would be black and awful down there, full of mud and maybe rotting creatures.

I tried to climb out of the hole, but when I got a knee on the ice, it broke like window glass. Again and again I tried to get out. Again and again the ice broke into pieces.The hole widened. I was wearing a coat of heavy material. As it became completely wet,it dragged me down. I was tired of the struggle and rested with my arms stretched out on the ice.

I looked at Harry on shore. He seemed rooted to the spot.“I can't get out! ” I screamed when I caught some breath. (选材改编自2020年浙江省十校联考）注意：

1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1:

Harry turned and ran away from the pond.

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Paragraph 2:

Mum was shocked to see us come back in such a mess.

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一、原文写作特点分析

本文是利用细节描写来展现故事张力的比较典型的文章。 文章的故事结构很简单。 开篇的场景描写简单地描述了“我”家农场附近的池塘的基本情况。……