幽默小故事
2021-07-30张恒选译
张恒选译
What Does He Want to Be？
他想成为什么样的人？
“Does your son know what he wants to be when he grows up？” I asked my friend.
“He wants to be a garbageman1，” he answered.
“Thats an unusual2 ambition3 to have at such a young age.”
“Not really. He thinks that garbagemen work only on Tuesdays.”
“你儿子长大后知道自己想成为什么样的人吗？”我问我的朋友。
“他想当个清洁工。”他回答说。
“在这么小的年纪，有这样一个抱负不寻常。”
“并不是。他以为清洁工只在星期二工作。”
A Nice Dress
漂亮的连衣裙
“Mummy， you have such a nice dress. Where are you going in it？”
“Im going to the theatre to see Romeo and Juliet.”
“But youve seen it 5 times！”
“Yes， I know， but not in this dress.”
“妈妈，你的裙子真漂亮。你穿着它要去哪里？”
“我要去剧院看《罗密欧和朱丽叶》。”
“但你已经看过五次了！”
“是的，我知道，但没穿这件衣服看过。”
Fried4 Eggs
煎蛋
A wife5 was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband6. Suddenly7， her husband ran into the kitchen.
“Careful，” he said. “Careful！Put in some more butter！ Oh my God！Youre cooking too many at once. Too many！Turn them！Turn them now！We need more butter. Oh my God！ Where are we going to get more butter？ Theyre going to stick8！Careful. Careful！I said be careful！You never listen to me when youre cooking！Never！Turn them！Hurry up！Are you crazy9？ Dont forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the Salt. Use the salt！The salt！”
The wife looked at him and said， “What is wrong with you？ You think I dont know how to fry a couple of eggs？”
The husband calmly10 answered， “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when Im driving.”
妻子正在为丈夫做一顿煎蛋做早餐。突然，她的丈夫跑进了厨房。
“小心！”他说，“小心！再加点黄油！哦，我的天！你一次做得太多了。太多了！给它们翻面！现在给它们翻面！我们需要更多的黄油。哦，我的天！我们去哪儿买更多的黄油？它们会粘锅的！小心点。小心！我说小心点！你做饭的时候从来不听我的！从不！翻面！快点！你疯了吗？别忘了给它们加盐。你知道你总是忘了给它们加盐。加盐加盐！盐！”
妻子看着他说：“你怎么了？你以为我连煎两个鸡蛋都不会？”
丈夫平静地回答说：“我只是想让你感受一下我开车时的感觉。”
（英语原文选自：jokesinlevels.com）
1. garbageman [ ] n. 清洁工
2. unusual [] adj. 不寻常的;与众不同的;不平常的
3. ambition [] n. 野心，雄心;抱负，志向
4. fried [ ] adj. 油炸的，油煎的
5. wife [ ] n. 妻子，已婚妇女
6. husband [ ] n. 丈夫
7. suddenly [ ] adv. 突然地;忽然
8. stick [ ] vi. 粘住
9. crazy [ ] adj. 瘋狂的;狂热的，着迷的
10. calmly [ ] adv. 冷静地;平静地;安静地
