On January 24,2020,Chinese New Year’s Eve,I had my first COVID-19 patient,who was delivered by an ambulance escorted by a police car.

He looked utterly different from any of my previous patients.He wore a mask,so I couldn’t see his face entirely,but a pair of glasses hanging at the end of his nose,and a slightly bald head.Besides the furrowed brow,which showed that something had been weighing on his mind,there was nothing special about him.

He grabbed his backpack and got off the ambulance in a daze,as if being woken up during sleep on the way home,yet found out himself end up in a place he didn’t know.Reading through his file,his surname,Wan caught my eye,along with his seniority over me,age-wise,so I called him “Old Wan.”

Friend rather than patient

At the isolation ward,I had to run some routine examinations on Old Wan.When taking his temperature the nurse was visibly shaken,so I offered to do it for her.

I tried to take his temperature with an infrared thermometer,but it was difficult to move my hands in the double-layer gloves we were wearing.It made me hit the wrong button by accident,causing the thermometer to switch off and on again.I apologized for my clumsiness,and chatted with him while taking his temperature,“How do you feel?” I asked.

Old Wan looked up at me with an expression of bewilderment.There was a bloated,uncomfortable pause before he finally answered,“You’re not scared of me?”

I pointed at my protective suit and said,“Look what I’m wearing.Why would I be scared of you? But what about you? You’re not scared of me dressed this way?”

Old Wan’s ears twitched and he managed a faint smile.“I really appreciate this.Since I was diagnosed with the disease,you’re the first person who has come this close to me.”

Because of his infection,Old Wan became devoid of contact with the outside world,and no one dared to be around him.This was true,inescapable isolation,like being locked up in a cage.In the blink of an eye he went from being a normal,healthy person to a confirmed COVID-19 case,tracked down and isolated in a tiny room just after a small fever.From then on,he couldn’t step outside the door or see anyone.Such sudden isolation without any buffering or transitional period was hard for anyone to be mentally prepared and accept.During the quarantine,no one had ever entered Old Wan’s room or talked to him.Thinking of it,I patted him on the shoulder and said,“Listen,don’t worry.Now you’re here,just regard me as your friend.”

我接诊的第一位新冠肺炎患者，是警车开道送来的。那是2020年1月24日，除夕。

他跟我这些年见到的病人完全不一样：他戴着口罩，看不清面容，我只能看到他口罩上方的鼻梁上架着一副眼镜，头顶有点秃。除了紧缩的眉头能让人感觉出他心事很重，他看上去再普通不过。

他拿着一个背包，自己走下救护车,像是回家路上突然被叫醒，却发现自己到了一个并不认识的地方。资料上写他姓万，比我大一点，我就喊他“老万”。

和患者做朋友

进到隔离病房，我需要给老万做一些基础的检查。量体温的时候，护士有些紧张，我说：“我来吧。”

我们用的是红外线感应的体温枪，但是戴着两层手套，手特别不灵活，我一不小心按错了按钮，体温枪关机又开机。我说实在不好意思，操作还不是特别熟练。然后一边测体温，一边趁机和老万说话：“你感觉怎么样？”

老万抬起头，眼神明显错愕了一下，定定地看着我，开口说了第一句话：“你不怕我吗？”

我指了指防护服，说：“我穿着这些还怕你吗？倒是你，你看我这样，不害怕吗？”

老万挂着口罩的耳朵动了动，也许是挤出了一个笑：“我很感谢您，被确诊以来，您是跟我说话离得最近的人。”

因为得病，老万没法跟别人接触，别人也不敢跟他接触，这是非常真实、无法逃避的“被隔离”，被关进笼子的感觉。忽然从一个正常人变成因疫情而被追踪的确诊病人，这个角色转变来得太快了。从老万的感受来说，他只是有点发热，却忽然被隔离在一个小屋子里，不能出去半步，谁都见不到。……