（一）

Mobile Payment

江苏省南通市第一中学高三（3）班  孙丽颖

Recent years have witnessed growing popularity of mobile payment. Even a visitor from Germany feels amazed about the new way of payment.

The popularity of mobile payment can be attributed to several factors. First of all， it brings about great convenience to our daily life. With technological advance， numerous supermarkets， stores or even individual businesses now allow customers to pay with mobile apps， which enables people to go out without even carrying cash or bank cards. Consequently， it reduces the chance of money loss or theft. Besides， customers paying by mobile apps can often enjoy a discount or get a small amount of money back.

Despite the apparent advantages， mobile payment cannot be regarded as perfect. As it is based on smart phones， some old people are excluded from using it due to lack of relevant knowledge. Worse than that is its safety， because some users have already suffered financial loss due to information leakage.

Mobile payment is no doubt favored by a growing number of people. However， there are still some aspects to be improved.

老师点评：

作者从移动支付的普及现象开始，首先分析其普及的原因，接着指出其存在的不足，并提出改进的希望。结构清楚，逻辑合理。作者英语表达句式灵活、老练，如开头句：“Recent years have witnessed…”， 第二段首句：“The popularity of… can be attributed to…”以及第三段首句的讓步状语从句：“Despite the apparent advantages， …”均是给文章增色的句子。在词汇选择上，可见作者词汇量较丰富。此外，在段落或句子之间的衔接和连贯方面，除了上面的“Despite…”一句，还用了First of all， consequently， besides等加强连贯性。

指导老师：徐小妹

（二）

My motherland

江西省萍乡市芦溪县芦溪中学  高二（25）班  杨杰璇

October 1st is the anniversary of the founding of the Peoples Republic of China in 1949， and it is celebrated as the National Holiday all over our country. This year， 2019， marks the 70th anniversary of the founding of our motherland. All the nation celebrated the festival. Colorful neon lights and red flags were hung here and there during The National Day. Thousands of people and soldiers gathered at Tiananmen Square for a grand army parade and celebration procession.

October 1， 1949， Chairman Mao stood on Tiananmen Gate， solemnly announced to the world： The Peoples Republic of China was founded. Since then， we erased the dark shadows and ushered in the brilliant glory. In 1997 Hong Kong returned to the motherland. In 2003 China joined the WTO. In 2005 China successfully launched its manned space flight Shenzhou VI. In 2008 China successfully hosted its first Olympics in Beijing…Today， our country is showing a rising China to the whole world.

Along with many ups and downs， its been 70 years of our motherland. As the generation born after 2000， we cannot experience the past of our motherland， but we must work hard for the future of our country. We should do our best to love ourselves， our parents， and our motherland. At any time， regardless of where we are， do remember： I am Chinese. I am proud of China. The motherland is always in my heart！

指导老师：朱丽敏