本·约翰逊　程颋

Whilst the English penchant1 for manners and socially appropriate behaviour is renowned across the world， the word etiquette to which we so often refer actually originates from the French etiquette2―“to attach or stick”. Indeed the modern understanding of the word can be linked to the Court of the French King Louis XIV， who used small placards called etiquettes， as a reminder to courtiers of accepted “house rules3” such as not walking through certain areas of the palace gardens.

Every culture across the ages has been defined by the concept of etiquette and accepted social interaction. How-ever， it is the British―and the English in particular―who have historically been known to place a great deal of importance in good manners. Whether it be in relation to speech， timeliness4， body language or dining， politeness is key.

British etiquette dictates courteousness at all times， which means forming an orderly queue in a shop or for public transport， saying excuse me when someone is blocking your way and saying please and thank you for any service you have received is de rigueur5.

The British reputation for being reserved is not without merit. Overfamiliarity6 of personal space or behaviour is a big no-no！ When meeting someone for the first time a handshake is always preferable to a hug and a kiss on the cheek is reserved for close friends only. Asking personal questions about salary， relationship status， weight or age （particularly in the case of more “mature” ladies） is also frowned upon7.

Traditionally， one of the best examples of the British etiquette is the importance placed on punctuality. It is considered rude to arrive late to a business meeting， medical appointment or formal social occasion such as a wedding. As such it is advisable to arrive 5-10 minutes early to appear professional， prepared and unflustered8 as a mark of respect to your host. Conversely， should you arrive too early to a dinner party this could also appear slightly rude and ruin the atmosphere for the evening if the host is still completing their preparations. For the same reason an unannounced house call is often frowned upon for risk of inconveniencing the home owner.

Should you be invited to a British dinner party it is customary for a dinner guest to bring a gift for the host or hostess， such as a bottle of wine， a bouquet of flowers or chocolates. Good table manners are essential （particularly if you want to be invited back！） and unless you are attending a barbeque or an informal buffet it is frowned upon to use fingers rather than cutlery9 to eat. The cutlery should also be held correctly， i.e. the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left hand with the prongs10 pointing downwards and the food pushed onto the back of the fork with the knife rather than ‘scooped. At a formal dinner party when there are numerous utensils at your place setting it is customary to begin with the utensils on the outside and work your way inward with each course.

As the guest it is polite to wait until everyone at the table has been served and your host starts eating or indicates that you should do so. Once the meal has begun it is impolite to reach over someone elses plate for an item such as seasoning or a food platter; it is more considerate to ask for the item to be passed to you. Leaning your elbows on the table whilst you are eating is also considered rude.

Slurping or making other such loud noises whilst eating is completely frowned upon. As with yawning or coughing it is also considered very rude to chew open-mouthed or talk when there is still food in your mouth. These actions imply that a person was not brought up to adhere to good manners， a criticism against not only the offender but their family too！

Social classes

In days gone by it was common for young ladies to attend a finishing school11 to ensure their manners were up to scratch12. An attribute which was felt particularly crucial in securing a suitable husband！

Whilst today good manners and etiquette are seen as a sign of respect， particularly to those more senior （in either age or position）， in Victorian England when the class system was alive and well， etiquette was often used as a social weapon in the interests of social advancement or exclusion13.

The evolution of etiquette

Like the rest of the world， Britain has been influenced by the importance of corporate etiquette， with a shift in focus from the social or household setting to an emphasis on business etiquette and protocol14. For a business to succeed internationally it is important to be aware that what is considered good manners in one society may be rude to another. For instance the “okay” gesture―made by connecting the thumb and forefinger in a circle and holding the other fingers straight， is recognised in Britain and North America as a signal to question or confirm that a person is well or safe. However in parts of southern Europe and South America this is an offensive gesture.

Indeed， the rise in online business and social media sites has even seen the creation of a worldwide “online society”， necessitating its own rules of conduct， commonly referred to as Netiquette15， or network etiquette. These rules regarding the protocol for such communications as email， forums and blogs are constantly being redefined as the internet continues to evolve. So whilst the traditionally accepted behaviours of old may not have the influence they once did， it could be argued that etiquette is as crucial in todays society as it has ever been.

虽然英国人以注重教养和得体的社交举止而闻名于世，但我们经常提到的礼节一词etiquette实际上来源于法语的etiquette（意为“粘贴”）。其实，现代对这个词的理解可以追溯到法国国王路易十四的宫廷，他用被称作etiquette的小告示提醒朝臣那些广为接受的“宫廷规矩”，例如不可穿越宫廷花园的特定区域。

纵观古今，每种文化都可以用礼节的概念和广泛接受的社交行为来界定。然而，历史上英国人，特别是英格兰人以特别看重良好的教养而出名。无论是涉及讲话、时间把握、身体语言还是进餐，礼貌是关键。

英国的礼节要求一个人在任何时候都要有礼貌，这意味着按照社交礼节的要求，在商店购物或搭乘公共交通工具时要有序排队，当有人挡住你的去路时要说“麻烦让一下”，以及在接受服务时要说“请”和“谢谢”。

英国人的矜持是出了名的，这也不是没有好处。与他人靠得过近或举止过分亲昵是一大禁忌！人们第一次见面时，握手比拥抱更合适，而亲吻面颊只限于亲密朋友之间。询问薪水、婚恋状况、体重或年龄（尤其对于比较“成熟”的女士）等私人问题也是令人不悦的。

传统上，关于英国礼节的一个最好的例子就是对守时的重视。在商务会晤、预约就医或婚礼这样的正式社交场合，迟到被认为是失礼的行为。因此，最好提前五至十分钟到达，体现出职业素养、准备充分且态度从容，这表示对主人的尊重。相反，参加晚宴时过早到达，若主人这时还在忙着做准备工作，客人則会显得有些失礼，还可能破坏了晚宴的气氛。同理，突然登门拜访常常令人不快，因为有可能给主人带来不便。

如果你受邀参加英国人的晚宴，按照习俗客人应该给男主人或女主人带个礼物，可以是一瓶葡萄酒、一束鲜花或者巧克力。良好的餐桌礼节非常重要（特别是如果你想再次受到邀请！），除非是烧烤或非正式的自助餐，用餐时不可以用手直接抓取而不用餐具。拿餐具的方式要正确，就是说要用右手拿刀，左手拿叉，叉头朝下;用刀将食物推到叉子背上，而不是“舀起来”。在正式晚宴上，如果你的餐位有很多件餐具，通常的做法是从靠外侧的餐具开始，按照由外而内的次序在吃每道菜时使用这些餐具。

客人应该等在座每个人的菜都上好后，主人开始进餐或者示意客人开始进餐时再开始吃，这样做比较有礼貌。开始进餐后，越过别人的盘子拿调味品或餐盘等物品是不礼貌的，比较妥善的方式是请别人帮忙递过来。进餐时手肘放在桌面上也被视为失礼。

吃东西时咂嘴或发出其他类似的噪音特别惹人反感。和打哈欠或咳嗽一样，张嘴咀嚼以及嘴里有食物时说话都被认为是非常无礼的行为。这些行为意味着这个人缺乏教养，这个批评不仅针对他本人，还指他的家庭。

社会阶层

过去，年轻女士普遍进入女子精修学校学习，以确保她们的言谈举止合乎标准，这一点对她们能否找到如意郎君特别关键。

今天，良好的教养和礼节被视为尊重对方的标志，对比自己年长或地位高的人士来说尤其如此。而在维多利亚时代的英国，等级制度盛行，礼节常常被用作一种社交武器，用来加入社会上层或排斥下层阶级。

礼节的演变

和世界其他地方一样，商务礼节的重要性也影响到了英国。英国人从关注社交或居家场合转而重视商务礼节和礼仪。若要在国际商务中获得成功，务必知晓一个社会公认的礼貌行为，在另一个社会可能是无礼的行为。例如，okay手势——拇指和食指结成一个圈，其他三个手指伸直，在英国和北美公认为询问或确定某人是否情况良好或安全的一种手势。但在欧洲南部和南美洲的一些地区，这是一种冒犯无礼的手势。

事实上，随着在线商务和社会化媒体网站的蓬勃发展，甚至诞生了全球性的“在线社会”，这就迫切需要建立其自身的规则，俗称网络礼节。这些规则是关于电子邮件、论坛和博客这些信息交流的礼仪。随着互联网的持续发展，人们不断重新定义这些规则。因此，尽管从前在传统上普遍接受的行为举止可能不再具有以前的影响，但可以认为在当今社会，礼节的重要性一如既往。

（译者为“《英语世界》杯”翻译大赛获奖者）

1 penchant倾向，嗜好。  2 estiquette古法语词汇，意思是a little note，特别指贴在门或者墙上公示给别人看的小纸条，而estiquette又来源于古法语词汇 estechier，意思是to attach or stick。  3 house rule内部的规则，守则。  4 timeliness适时。

5 de rigueur〈法语〉社交礼节需要的，符合时尚的;按照习俗。  6 overfamiliarity过分友好，不拘礼节。  7 frown upon不赞成，不悦。  8 unflustered从容不迫。

9 cutlery餐具（刀、叉和匙）。  10 prong叉（齿）。

11 finishing school（上流社会女子学习社交举止的）精修学校。  12 up to scratch合乎标准，可以接受的。  13 social exclusion社会排斥（个体被某一集体或他人拒绝和排斥，使其归属和关系需求受到阻碍的现象）。

14 etiquette and protocol礼节和礼仪。礼节指人们在日常生活中，特别是交际场合中，相互表示尊重、友好的问候、致意、祝愿、慰问以及给予必要的协助与照料的惯用形式;礼仪通常指在较大、较隆重的正式场合，为表示敬意、尊重、重视等所举行的合乎社交规范和道德规范的仪式。  15 netiquette网络礼节，指在互联网上的礼貌规则。