西尔维娅·赫勒

What’s the best way to describe Norwegian television series… Dull？ Interesting？ Wait， SPECIAL.

Four Norwegian TV shows in particular have taught me so much about the （often crazy seeming） Norwegian way of life.

The Summer Boat

The Summer Boat started in 2009 with NRK1’s 7-hour live broadcast of the train journey from Bergen2 to Oslo3. Since then they’ve shown 18 hours of minute by minute salmon fishing， 13 hours of live knitting， and all 899 hymns in the hymnal sung live for over 60 hours. And then there was my personal favorite， the 12-hour broadcast of logs burning in a fire. It featured people chopping logs and then discussing how to stack it. That took four hours; the remaining eight of “National Firewood Night4” depicted the logs burning in a fireplace.

This show garnered such excitement that even the New York Times puzzled over Norwegians’ reactions to it， such as， “I couldn’t go to bed because I was so excited… When will they add new logs？ Just before I managed to tear myself away5， they must have opened the flue6 a little， because just then the flames shot a little higher.”

In a world of smart phones and endless multitasking， it’s hard to imagine people finding genuine excitement for something so， well， slow.

Lilyhammer

Lilyhammer7 centers around Frank “The Fixer8” Tagliano， a New York mobster （played by Van Zandt9） that moves to Lillehammer， Norway as part of the Witness Protection Program. He shacks up with10 a young teacher and has twins with her， but he also returns to his old ways in a country unaccustomed to rampant criminality. He gets into all sorts of fun mischief with the adorably innocent locals.

The show points out many of the ways Norway is old fashioned， lacking in diversity， and not the easiest place to get things done， but it also just makes the country look so freaking quaint.

Like when Tagliano goes to jail and it looks super cozy and he spends all his time doing fun crafts and group therapy11. My husband Dan said he’d happily move to Norway because worst case scenario he can just hang out12 in prison！ He was kidding of course， though if he hadn’t been he might have had a hard time getting in anyway—during four months of living in Norway’s third largest city I have seen a police officer exactly zero times.

Well， there was that time in the summer when everyone was drinking in the park， which is technically illegal here， and a police van slowly drove by， but no one ever got out. Our friends told us that they were just gently reminding us that they’re here， and… not going to do anything？

Alt for Norge

Alt for Norge13 brings a group of Americans with Norwegian heritage to Norway for the first time， where they compete in various Norway related games to win the grand prize of getting to meet their Norwegian relatives.

The show takes the contestants around the most beautiful and culturally significant areas of Norway.

Norwegians hate confrontation. Each week the contestant who has shown the best team spirit wins the “Spirit Award，” which means they are safe from elimination the next week. This also means that everyone is always super nice to each other in the hopes of winning the award.

The News

And then there’s the national news， which rarely fails to make me feel warm and cozy.

Especially now when so many news channels around the world seem to be successfully filling people with terror， I’m very happy to be in Norway， where the other day a good five minutes of the evening news were devoted to footage of a woman feeding a squirrel. For real.                                                          ■

怎样形容挪威的电视节目才最恰当呢，无聊？有趣？都不是，应该是特别。

尤其是以下这四档挪威电视节目，让我们了解到挪威人（通常显得十分疯狂的）生活方式的许多方面。

《夏日小舟》

《夏日小舟》始于2009年，随着挪威广播电视公司持续7小时直播从卑尔根到奥斯陆的火车旅途而揭开序幕。自那以后，他们还播出过18小时连续不间断的鲑鱼垂钓、13小时的直播编织，以及赞美诗集中所有899首赞美诗超过60小时的直播联唱。再之后就是我个人的最爱了——连续12小时直播在炉火中燃烧的木柴。节目中还包含了人们劈砍木柴并讨论如何堆放它们的过程，持续4小时;而这集《国家篝火之夜》余下的8个小时则呈现了木柴在壁炉中燃烧的景象。

这档节目令挪威民众兴奋不已，以至于《纽约时报》都对他们的反应感到困惑，例如：“我激动到难以入眠……他们什么时候会添加新的木柴呢？正当我就要恋恋不舍地离开电视机前时，他们一定是把烟道打开了一点儿，因为就在这时，火焰喷射得比之前稍高了一些。”

在这个被智能手机与无尽的多任务处理支配的世界里，很难想象居然有人能在如此——好吧，慢节奏——的事物之中，体会到真切的兴奋。

《莉莉海默》

《莉莉海默》的故事围绕着一名来自纽约的匪徒弗兰克“修理工”塔格里亚诺（范·赞特饰演）展开。作为“证人保护计划”的一部分，他搬迁到了挪威的利勒哈默尔，与一位年轻的教师同居并有了一对双胞胎;但他在这个不曾适应猖獗犯罪活動的国家里又做回了自己的老本行。他与当地可爱而单纯的人们陷入了各种各样有趣的闹剧之中。

这档节目展现出了挪威守旧、缺乏多样性且不容易办成事情的方方面面;但它也使这个国家显得无比怪诞有趣。

比如当塔格里亚诺坐牢的时候，监狱看起来十分舒适，他将所有的时间都花在了进行有趣的手工制作与集体心理治疗上。我的丈夫丹说他非常乐意搬到挪威，因为即便在最坏的情况下，他也能够在监狱悠哉度日！当然他只是在开玩笑。就算不是玩笑，他也无论如何都很难如愿入狱——居住在挪威第三大城市的四个月时间里，我完全没有见到过任何一名警察。

好吧，有那么一次，当时是夏天，大家在公园里喝酒——这样做在这里严格来说是违法的。接着一辆警车缓缓驶来，但却没有人从车里出来。朋友告诉我们，警察只是温柔地提醒我们他们在这里，并且……不准备做任何事情？

《一切为了挪威》

《一切为了挪威》将一群有挪威人血统的美国人初次带到了挪威。在这里，他们将在各种与挪威有关的游戏项目中互相角逐，来赢取最终大奖——与他们的挪威亲人见面。

这档节目将带领参赛者们游历挪威最美丽、最具文化意义的地区。

挪威人厌恶对抗。每周，展现出最强团队精神的参赛者将赢得“精神奖”，表示下一周里他将免遭淘汰。这也意味着每位选手对他人都总是无比友善，以期赢得这一奖项。

新闻

接下来是全国新闻，一档很难不让我感到温暖而舒适的节目。

尤其是现在，当世界各地众多新闻频道似乎都成功地把恐慌播入人心时，我非常庆幸自己身处挪威。曾有一天，挪威整整五分钟的晚间新闻时间都被用来播放一个女人喂食一只松鼠的画面。真的。          □

（译者为“《英语世界》杯”翻译大赛获奖选手）