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《星运里的错》:最美好的错误

2019-04-25

阅读与作文(英语初中版) 2019年3期
关键词:悼词帕特里克香槟

梵高写给弟弟提奥的信里有这样一段话:“每个人的心里都有一团火,路过的人只能看到烟,但是总有一个人,总有那么一个人能看到这火,然后走过来陪我一起。我在人群中看到了他的火,我快步走过去,生怕慢一点他就会被淹没在岁月的尘埃里。”或许海蓁和奥古斯都的爱情便是如此,遇见了对的人,看到了那团火,快步走在一起,即便彼此均时日无多。

只要是和癌症有关的爱情故事,在我心里都被自动划分到“狗血虐心苦情戏”一栏。没办法,我已经对各种哭得死去活来、虐身虐心的癌症电影和电视剧麻木了。然而,这部由同名畅销小说改编的电影《星运里的错》并不在其中。它平静地讲述了一个“爱情与生命均不可辜负”的故事。同是癌症患者的海蓁和奥古斯都,他们的爱情和普通人比起来要特殊一些:相遇地点不是浪漫的场所,而是癌友互助小组;一起出发的旅行不是为了制造回忆,而是为了了却遗愿;给彼此写的不是情书,而是悼词;没有任何承诺,不敢奢求未来,深夜电话一响便是恐惧,因为随时都可能传来噩耗。但爱即是爱,抛开病痛,他们的爱情其实也和普通人一样美好。

1

海蓁·格蕾丝是一名16岁的美丽少女,正值黄金年华的她本该和其他同龄人一样尽情享受生命和青春,但无情的病魔找上了她,她是一名肺癌患者。

Not my thing = not interested in sth. =not my favorite 在不同的语境下有不同的译法,比如“不是我的菜”、“不是我的风格”、“不感兴趣”、“不适合我”等等。例如:

Thanks, but spicy food is not my thing. (谢谢,不过辛辣食物不是我的菜。)

Hazel: I believe we have a choice in this world about how to tell sad stories. On the one hand, you can sugarcoat[裹以糖衣] it. The way they do in movies and romance novels where beautiful people learn beautiful lessons, where nothing is too messed up[混乱,搞砸] that cant be fixed with an apology[道歉] and a Peter Gabriel注1 song. I like that version as much as the next girl does, believe me. Its just not the truth. This is the truth. Sorry—Late in the winter of my 17th year, my mother decided that I was depressed[抑郁].

Hazels Mom: She just eats like a bird, she barely[幾乎没有] leaves the house.

Hazel: I am not depressed, Mom.

Hazels Mom: Shes reading the same book over and over.

Dr. Maria: Shes depressed.

Hazel: Im not depressed. The booklets[小册子] and the websites always list depression as a side effect[副作用] of cancer. Depressions not a side effect of cancer. Its a side effect of dying. Which is what was happening to me.

Dr. Maria: I may switch you to Zoloft[左洛复(抗抑郁药)]. Or Lexapro[来士普(抗抑郁药)]. And twice a day instead of once.

Hazel: Why stop there?

Dr. Maria: Hmm?

Hazel: Really, just keep them coming. Im like the Keith Richards注2 of cancer kids.

Dr. Maria: Have you been going to that support group I suggested?

Hazel: Yeah, its not my thing.

Dr. Maria: Support groups can be a great way for you to connect with people who are…

Hazel: Who are…what?

Dr. Maria: On the same journey.

Hazel: “Journey”? Really?

Dr. Maria: Give it a chance. Who knows, you might even find it enlightening[使人领悟的].

海蓁:我相信在这个世界上,我们可以选择如何讲述悲伤的故事。一种方式是,你可以美化它,就像电影和浪漫小说里那样——美丽的人接受着美丽的考验,而那些考验都可以用一声抱歉和一首彼得·盖布瑞尔的歌来解决。相信我,我和下面这个女孩一样喜欢这样的处理方式。可惜它不是事实,以下才是事实。抱歉——在我人生第十七个年头的深冬,我妈妈认定我患上了抑郁症。

海蓁的妈妈:她吃饭跟小鸟啄食一样少,也几乎不出门。

海蓁:我没有抑郁,妈妈。

海蓁的妈妈:她会把同一本书读了又读。

玛丽娅医生:她确实得抑郁症了。

海蓁:我没有。(宣传癌症的)小册子和网站总把抑郁症列为癌症的副作用之一。但抑郁症不是癌症的副作用,而是死亡的副作用,而我曾经差点就死了。

玛丽娅医生:我会把药换成左洛复,或者来士普。每天一次加到每天两次。

海蓁:干嘛不继续说下去?

玛丽娅医生:嗯?

海蓁:说真的,让我继续吃呀,我就像癌症少女版的基思·理查兹一样。

玛丽娅医生:你有坚持参加我推荐的那个癌友互助小组吗?

海蓁:去了,不感兴趣。

玛丽娅医生:癌友互助小组是一个很好的方式,它可以让你接触那些……

海蓁:那些……什么?

玛丽娅医生:和你走着相同旅程的人。

海蓁:“旅程”?你真要把这叫旅程?

玛丽娅医生:试试吧。说不定,你会从中受到启发。

注1:彼得·盖布瑞尔是英国音乐鬼才,上世纪八十年代红极一时的摇滚乐团“创世纪”(Genesis)的团长及主唱。

注2:基思·理查兹,滚石乐队的创始人之一。他对药品和酒精的痴迷以及他放荡、糜烂的生活方式和他高超的吉他技艺一样出名。

2

在家人的强烈要求下,海蓁不情不愿地去参加癌友互助小组,在那里遇到了曾是骨癌患者的奥古斯都,俩人一见钟情。

Augustus: Um, Im Augustus Waters. Im 18 years old and, um, I had a touch of osteosarcoma[骨肉瘤] about a year-and-a half ago. So I, Ive lost this baby as a result.(shows his artificial[人工的] leg) And, uh, now Im part cyborg[半机械人], which is awesome. But, really, Im just here at Isaacs request. Patrick: And how are you feeling, Gus?

Augustus: (looks at Hazel) Im grand[极好的], yeah. Im on a roller coaster[云霄飞车] that only goes up, my friend.

Patrick: Maybe youd like to share your fears with the group?

Augustus: My fears? Oblivion[遺忘,湮灭]. Patrick: Oblivion?

Augustus: Yeah. You see, I intend to[想要] live an extraordinary[非凡的] life. To be remembered. So, Id say if I have any fears, it would be to not do that.

Patrick: Would anyone else in the group like to speak to that?

(Hazel raises her hand)

Patrick: Hazel? Unexpected.

Hazel: I just want to say that, you know, theres gonna come a time when all of us are dead. There was a time before humans and theres gonna be a time after. And it could be tomorrow, it could be a million years from now. And when it does, there will be no one left…to remember Cleopatra注3 or Muhammad Ali or Mozart, let alone any of us. Oblivions inevitable[不可避免的]. And if that scares you, then I suggest you ignore[忽略] it. God knows its what everyone else does.

Patrick: (sighs) Well, thats some good advice. I like all this because its really nice to hear everybody…

奥古斯都:嗯,我叫奥古斯都·沃特斯,今年十八岁。大概在一年半前,我得过轻微的骨肉瘤,结果就是我失去了这条小腿。(展示他的假肢)所以现在我的部分身体是半机械的,棒极了。但说真的,我是在艾萨克的要求下才来这里。

帕特里克:那么你感觉怎么样,古斯?

奥古斯都:(看着海蓁)棒极了,真的。就像坐一辆一直往上的过山车一样,伙计。

帕特里克:也许你愿意和大家讲讲你害怕的事情。

奥古斯都:我害怕的事?被遗忘。

帕特里克:被遗忘?

奥古斯都:是的。如你所见,我想要过非同凡响的一生,我想被人们记住。所以我说我害怕被人遗忘,如果我有什么害怕的话。

帕特里克:小组中有谁想聊聊这个话题的吗?

(海蓁举手)

帕特里克:海蓁?真没想到啊。

海蓁:我想说的是,总有一天我们都会死的。既然有人类出现之前的纪年,就会有人类消失后的纪年。也许那一天明天就会来临,也许还有百万年之遥。当那天来临,没有谁能活着……去纪念克莱奥帕特拉、穆罕默德·阿里或是莫扎特,更别说我们当中的任何人了。遗忘在所难免。如果这令你恐惧,那我建议你忽略它。上帝知道每个人都是这么做的。

帕特里克:(叹气)这是个好建議。我喜欢这里是因为听别人的故事真的很不错……

3

注3:克莱奥帕特拉,也就是我们所说的“埃及艳后”。

注4:Phalanxifor,现实世界中并没有出现这样的抗癌药物,

这是作者生造的词。

注5:General Educational Development (GED),(为衡量是否达到中学同等学力水准而设的)普通教育水平(测试)。注6:Mesa Community College(MCC),梅萨社区学院。

癌友互助小组活动结束后,奥古斯都约海蓁去他家做客。在车上,他们畅快地聊天。

口语锦囊

Suck在美国口语中是极其常用的词,一般作动词用,表示“糟透了,差劲,很烂”的意思。Suck at 表示“在某方面糟糕透了”,suck it up表示“忍耐;算了;别抱怨了”。例如:

1) The movie sucks.(这部电影糟透了。)

2) Suck it up, we almost finish.(忍忍吧,我们快做完了。)

Augustus: So, tell me about you.

Hazel: Um, I was 13 when they found it. Pretty much worst-case scenario[情节]. Thyroid[甲状腺癌], stage four. Not much they could do. Which didnt stop them, of course. Surgery[手术]. Radiation[放射]. Chemo[化疗]. More radiation.

All of which worked for a while. But, then stopped working. And then one day, my lungs started filling up with water.

Hazels Dad: Nurse! We need a nurse right now!

Hazel: I couldnt breathe. No one could get it under control.

Hazels Mom: You can let go, sweetie. Dont be afraid.

Hazel: That should have been the end.

Hazels Mom: (cries) Oh my God.

Hazel: But then something strange happened. The antibiotics[抗生素] kicked in. They drained[逐渐流走] the fluid[液体] from my lungs. I got some strength back. Next thing I know, I found myself in an experimental[实验的] trial[试验]. You know, the ones that are famous in the Republic of Cancervania for not working. Its called Phalanxifor注4. It didnt work in over 70% of the patients, but for some reason its been working for me. So, they called it “The Miracle.” Of course, my lungs still suck at being lungs… but, theoretically[理论上], they could continue to suck like this…for, I dont know, a while maybe.

Augustus: So, are you back in school?

Hazel: I…I got my GED注5, so Im taking classes at MCC注6.

Augustus: Whoa! A college girl! Well, that explains the aura[气息] of sophistication[温文尔雅]…

Hazel: Oh! Careful!

(the car hits a garbage can[垃圾桶])

Augustus: Oops.

(Hazel laughs)

奥古斯都:跟我说说你的情况吧。

海蓁:嗯,在我13岁的时候被确诊,基本算是最坏的情况了。甲状腺癌,第四期。虽然他们能做的不多,但是当然,他们没有放弃。手术、放疗、化疗。加大剂量的放疗。这些方法只能奏效一阵子,后来就不管用了。后来有一天,我的肺部开始积水。

海蓁的爸爸:护士!快来个护士!

海蓁:我喘不上气。谁也控制不了。

海蓁的妈妈:你可以放弃的,亲爱的,不要害怕。

海蓁:这本该是终点。

海蓁的妈妈:(哭)天啊。

海蓁:但是奇怪的事情发生了,抗生素起作用了。它们抽干了我肺部的液体。我又有了些力气。再后来,我就发现我参与了一项实验。你知道的,在“癌症法尼亚共和国”有很多这样的临床实验,以没有疗效著称。那种药叫法兰昔弗,它对超过百分之七十的患者都无效。可不知道为什么,在我身上却起了效果,所以他们说我是个“奇迹”。当然了,我这个肺还是不太好……不过理论上说,它还能继续苟延残喘……我不知道,一陣子吧。

奥古斯都:那你现在上学吗?

海蓁:我拿到了普通教育水平证书,现在在梅萨社区学院上学。

奥古斯都:哇!大学生啊!怪不得你散发着温文尔雅的气息……

海蓁:哦!小心!

(汽车撞上一个垃圾桶)

奥古斯都:哎哟。

(海蓁笑)

4

虽然海蓁很喜欢奥古斯都,但她认为自己体内埋藏着的不定时炸弹会伤害已经打败了癌细胞的奥古斯都,因此痛苦地拒绝了他的追求,只和他做朋友。俩人来到一家高级餐厅共进晚餐。

Waitress: The champagne is our gift. Enjoy.

Hazel: Thank you.

Waiter: Good evening. (pours the champagne) Voilà[(法) 瞧]. Augustus: Okay?

Hazel: Okay. (cheers and tastes the champagne) Whoa. That is amazing.

Waiter: Do you know what Dom Pérignon said after he invented champagne? “Come quickly,” he said. “Im tasting the stars.” Welcome to Oranjee. Would you like a menu, or will you have the chefs choice? Hazel: Mmm…

Augustus: Chefs choice sounds wonderful.

Waiter: Emm.

Augustus: And, sir, um…something tells me were gonna need a little bit more of this.

Waiter: We have bottled all the stars for you this evening, my young friends.

(both laugh)

Augustus: God? Hazel: Maybe.

Augustus: How about angels? Hazel: Mmm, no.

Augustus: Afterlife[来生]?

Hazel: Mmm…No. Maybe. I dont know. I guess I wouldnt go as far as to say “no”…but I would like some evidence[证据]. What about you?

Augustus: Absolutely.

Hazel: Really? Augustus: I mean, not like a heaven where you ride on a unicorn[独角兽] all day, and live in a mansion[府邸] made of clouds…But yes, I definitely believe in something. I mean, otherwise, whats the point?

Hazel: Maybe there is no point.

Augustus: I wont accept that. I am in love with you. Youre with me.

Hazel: Augustus…

Augustus: I am in love with you. And I know that love is just a shout into the void[空虚]…and that oblivion is inevitable. And that were all doomed[注定的], and that one day, all of our labors will be returned to dust. And I know that the sun will swallow[咽下] the only Earth we will ever have. And I am in love with you. Sorry. Waiter: (comes and asks) More stars?

(Augustus laughs)

服务员:香槟是我们赠送的,请享用。海蓁:谢谢。

服务员:晚上好。(倒香槟)请用。

奥古斯都:(干杯)好吗?

海蓁:好的。(碰杯并品尝香槟)哇,味道太赞了。

服务员:你们知道唐·培里侬在发明香槟之后说了什么吗?“快来,”他说“我正在品尝星星的味道”。欢迎来到橙意餐厅。二位是想要看菜单,还是大厨推荐呢?

海蓁:呃……

奥古斯都:大厨推荐听起来不错。

服务员:嗯。

奥古斯都:还有,先生,呃……我感觉我们还得再来点这个。

服务员:今晚我们已经为你们把所有的星星都装进瓶子里了,年轻的朋友们。

(俩人笑)

奥古斯都:(你相信有)上帝?

海蓁:也许有。

奥古斯都:那天使呢?

海蓁:呃,沒有。

奥古斯都:来世呢?

海蓁:呃……没有。呃,也许有吧,我不知道。我想我不会肯定地说“没有”……但是也得有些根据才行。你觉得呢?

奥古斯都:当然有。

海蓁:真的吗?奥古斯都:并不是说你在天堂能整天骑着独角兽,或是住在云彩做的府邸那种……

但我相信一定有点什么。不然的话,还有什么意义呢?

海蓁:也许本来就没意义。

奥古斯都:我不接受。我爱上你了,和你在一起。

海蓁:奥古斯都……

奥古斯都:我已经爱上你了。我知道爱只是虚空中的叫喊,遗忘在所难免。我也知道我们都在劫难逃。总有那么一天,我们的一切努力都将化为尘土。我还知道,太阳会吞噬我们唯一的地球。但我还是爱上你了。抱歉。

服务员:(走过来询问)再来点星星?

(奥古斯都笑)

你知道吗?

唐·培里侬(Dom Pérignon, 1638—1715)是法国香槟区奥维耶修道院的酒窖管理员,他希望能“酿造绝世佳酿”。当时,传统的酿酒法认为要酿造出好酒,就必须尽量减少气泡。1688年,唐·培里侬在酿造葡萄酒时突发奇想,做出了一个违背传统酿酒法的举动:在酿造白葡萄酒的时候,当酒液发酵过程还没有完全完成,就把瓶口封死,继续发酵所产生的二氧化碳就在瓶中的高压下溶解回了酒中,开瓶的时候,便有一股气体冲瓶而出,葡萄酒则持续地冒着小泡泡——起泡酒,也就是世界上第一支香槟。1670年,他最先引用软木塞,以保持葡萄酒的新鲜,同时也采用了更加厚的玻璃酒瓶,以应对当时酒瓶很容易爆炸的问题。后来,“唐培里侬”香槟成为“香槟之王”。

5

海蓁被奥古斯都的深情打动,俩人陷入热恋。然而,奥古斯都体内的癌细胞突然复发。时日不多的奥古斯都沉浸在负面情绪里,无法自拔。

Hazel: What are you thinking about?

Augustus: Oblivion. I know, its…its kids stuff or whatever, but, you know, I always thought I would be a hero. I always thought Id have a grand story to tell. You know, something theyd publish in all the papers, and…I mean, I was supposed to be special.

Hazel: You are special, Augustus.

Augustus: Yeah, I know. But, you know what I mean. Hazel: I do know what you mean, I just dont agree with you. You know this obsession[痴迷] you have with being remembered?

Augustus: Dont get mad[生气].

Hazel: I am mad. Im mad because I think youre special. And is that not enough?You think that the only way to lead a meaningful life is for everyone to remember you, for everyone to love you. Guess what, Gus. This is your life, okay? This is all you get. You get me, and you get your family, and you get this world, and thats it. And if thats not enough for you, then Im sorry, but its not nothing. Because I love you. And Im gonna remember you.

Augustus: Im sorry. Youre right.

Hazel:I just wish you would be happy with that.

Augustus: Hey. (pours the champagne) Its a good life, Hazel Grace.

Hazel: Its not over yet.

海蓁:你在想什么?

奥古斯都:遗忘。我知道这……这想法很孩子气,不过你知道,我总觉得自己会成为英雄。我觉得我的人生会伟大得不得了。你知道,登上头条,然后……我的意思是,我应该很特别才对。

海蓁:你确实很特别,奥古斯都。

奥古斯都:是的,我知道。但是……你知道我的意思。

海蓁:我知道你想说什么,不过我不赞同。你知道你对被人们记住有多执着吗?

奥古斯都:别生气。

海蓁:我是很生气。我生气因为我觉得你很特别,难道这还不够吗?你觉得让人生有意义的唯一办法就是所有人都记得你,所有人都爱你。但古斯,你猜怎么着,这才是你的人生,好吗?你拥有这些,你有我、你的家庭、这个世界,就是这些。如果这对你来说还不够的话,那我很抱歉。但这并非什么都不是,因为我爱你,我会一直记得你。

奥古斯都:對不起,你是对的。

海蓁:我只是希望你能开心点。

奥古斯都:嘿,(倒香槟)我这辈子挺好的,海蓁·格蕾丝。

海蓁:还没结束呢。

6

奥古斯都偷偷为自己举行了一个“预葬礼”,邀请了好友艾萨克和海蓁到场。海蓁看着轮椅上的奥古斯都,为他致悼词。

海蓁这篇特殊的悼词深情动人,充满感情。她所用的语言也很优美。虽然后来在奥古斯都的葬礼上,她并没有读这篇悼词,而是选择了另一篇,因为她认为“举办葬礼不是为了逝者,而是为了活着的人”。真正的悼词她已经当着奥古斯都的面读给他听了,葬礼上说的话只是为了安慰活着的人。同学们可以对着文字多听几遍,然后尝试代入感情读出来。

Hazel: Hello. My name is Hazel Grace Lancaster, and Augustus Waters was the star-crossed[不幸的] love of my life. Ours was an epic[史诗的] love story. And I probably wont be able to get more than a sentence out without disappearing into a puddle[泥潭] of tears. Like all real love stories, ours will die with us. As it should. You know, Id kind of hoped that hed be the one eulogizing[颂扬] me. Because theres really no one else…Yeah, no. Um…Im not gonna talk about our love story, because I cant. So, instead, Im gonna talk about math. I am not a mathematician[数学家], but I do know this. There are infinite[无穷的] numbers between zero and one. Theres point-one, point-one-two, and pointone-one-two, and…and an infinite[无限的,无穷的] collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between zero and two, or between zero and a million. Some infinities[无穷,无限大] are simply bigger than other infinities. A writer that we used to like taught us that. You know, I want more numbers…than Im likely to get. And, God, do I want more days for Augustus Waters than what he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. Hold on.(cries) You gave me a forever, within the numbered days. And for that, I am…Im eternally[永恒地] grateful. I love you so much.

海蓁:大家好,我是海蓁·格蕾丝·兰卡斯特。奥古斯都·沃特斯是我此生不幸的恋人。我们的爱情故事如史诗般荡气回肠,但我可能一句话都说不出。只要一说起,我就淹没在泪水中。就像所有真正的爱情故事一样,它会随我们一起进坟墓。理应如此。本来我想让他为我致悼词的,因为再也没有其他人了……是的,没有。嗯……我不打算讲述我们的爱情故事,因为我做不到,所以我来讲讲数学。虽然我不是数学家,但我知道一件事。在0和1之间有无穷多个数字,有0.1、0.12、0.112……还有无穷多其他数字的集合。当然,在0到2之间,有一个更大的集合,在零到一百万之间也有很多。有些无穷比其他无穷更大。这是一个我们曾经喜欢过的作家告诉我们的。知道吗?我还能拥有的日子……我希望更多。还有,上帝啊,我但愿奥古斯都·沃特斯仅有的日子也能更多。但是,古斯,我的爱人,我无法告诉你,我们小小的无穷让我多么感激。等一下。(哭泣)你在有限的日子里给了我永远。对于这点,我……我永远感激上苍。我爱你。

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