张超

There are a lot of smokers in the world， yet most smokers are young people. It is said that about 45% of the smokers in the world from① China. Believe it or not， the smokers are becoming younger and younger in China， even including some middle school students.

There are a few reasons for this. Some people think smoking keeps themselves refreshed. Some people believe it is a kind of fashion and they want to be cool. Others think it is of very② fun.

In fact， smoking is a bad habit. It is bad for peoples health and can cause a lot of illnesses. It does harm to not only smokers but also someone who is near them. Meanwhile， smokers have to cost③ a lot of money on their bad habit. Besides， many fires are caused by careless smokers.

Therefore， I hope smokers especially young smokers can give up smoking for themselves，  and also for the people around us④.

河北省阜城縣第四中学九年级12班 刘佳娴

点评

1. 优点：

本文结构严谨，条例清楚，逻辑严密。小作者在每一段段首提出分论点。主要从吸烟的原因和危害两方面进行论述。文中熟练运用了宾语从句、并列句、简单句、衔接词与短语，使上下文衔接自然。这是一篇值得推荐的习作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① from改为come from。come from是动词短语用作谓语。

② very改为great。形容词great在此作定语，修饰名词fun。

③ cost改为spend。spend...on...是固定用法，意为“在……上花费……”。

④ us改为them。根据上下文可知，这里要用第三人称人称代词宾格形式。

3. 评分：

按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准，本文修改前可得18分。