重庆市人民（融侨）小学六（1）班 余沐霖

指导老师：陈江月

评语

Great writing and it's nice to see how descriptive you were about the elements of the book and how it makes you feel. Pay close attention to adding the word “the” and remember that we can’t begin a sentence with the word “and”.

写得很棒！很高兴你能对书中的内容做了形象的描述，也表达了自己的感想。注意在适当的时候加上“the”，还有，我们不能用“and”作为句子的开头哦！