By Zeng Kai

I’ve lived in Spain for around four or five years, and truth be told, the Christmas here is very quiet and not how I thought it would be. On December 25,almost every house is shut up,which forms a stark contrast to the New Year’s celebration a week later.

Some people say that westerners are born independent and neither value their family nor give it a high priority in their lives.

Just a few days ago, I came across a middle-aged man at the bus station in front of my house.The man was standing there,looking around in the chill wind.After a while, a young lady came running from the other side of the street, and the old man was hailed with a most enthusiastic shout of “Papá” and a big bear hug from her in front of everyone. And then, the lady took the man by the hand, and both of them got in her car and left happily.

At that moment, it suddenly occurred to me that, ever since I reached manhood, I’ve never addressed my dad that way in public.

When I visited El Escorial, I was impressed by the centuryold elaborate drawing of Spain’s Royal Family Tree hanging on the wall, from which every single lineage of the royal clan could be traced back to hundreds of years ago. However, in China, many hectic urban dwellers seem to have forgotten the names of their ancestors that are older than three generations. In Spain, it is common to see handsome young dads wearing a knapsack stuffed with milk bottles on their back,pulling a pram, and carrying their babies in the front, all while shopping with their wives in the street. But in China, most babies seem to be looked after by their moms, grandparents, or nannies.

It seems that Europeans have a unique way of expressing when it comes to family values.In their minds, festivals for families should never be turned into a public carnival. If coming home is to fulfill your family responsibility, then coming home on Christmas is to fulfill the responsibility in the name of faith. When we communicate with people, everything we do is mundane, but when we communicate with God,everything we do is more like a ritual.

Before this Christmas, our dean had already scheduled to go back to her residence in the north to visit her children, my tutor had already set up a beautiful Christmas tree at home, and the supermarkets were shut early.With fireplaces burning cheerfully in every house, the family members, who are normally busy with their own affairs most of the time, are now sitting around the dining table, praying earnestly and devoutly in praise of Jesus Christ, and passing merciful blessings to everyone around them.

来到西班牙已经四五年，说实话，这里的圣诞节一直很平静，并不是我想象中的模样。每到这一天，家家户户都关起门来，和一周之后的新年狂欢形成巨大的反差。

有人说，西方人生来独立，不重视亲情，家庭观念淡薄。

前几天，我在家门口的公交车站，偶遇一位年过半百的老先生，他立于寒风中，四下观望。过了一会儿，从街道另一边跑来一个年轻女子，当着众人的面，大喊一声“爸爸”，扑上去就是一个温暖的拥抱，然后牵着老人的手，幸福地上了车。

那一刻，我突然想起，成年以后，自己好像从未在公共场合喊过“爸爸”。

参观埃斯科里亚尔修道院的时候，看到墙壁上挂着百年前精心绘制的家族树，一宗一亲都可以追溯到几百年前的各个支系。在中国，一些忙碌的城里人，已经记不得自己家族三代以上的名字。而在西班牙，经常看到很多年轻帅哥，推着婴儿车，胸前挂着婴儿，背包里塞着奶瓶，习以为常地跟在妻子身后逛街，但在国内，好多娃娃好像都是爷爷奶奶、妈妈、保姆带……

欧洲人的家庭观念或许有自己独特的表达方式，应该属于家庭的节日，就绝不是公众的狂欢。如果说回家是履行对亲人的责任，那么，在圣诞节回家，更是以信仰之名履行这份责任。当我们的交流对象是人的时候，所有的行为都是世俗生活；当我们的交流对象是神的时候，所有的行为更像是仪式。

我们的系主任早就计划回到她在北部的庄园去探望孩子，导师早就在家里制作好了圣诞树，商店早就打烊……家家户户的壁炉，烧得又红又旺，家人平时各自忙碌，现在围坐在餐桌旁，在对基督的赞美中庄严虔诚地祷告，再道一声祝福，传递给身边的人。