安徽 胡发高

★话题概述

“羊羔知跪乳，乌鸦懂反哺”，人应该怀有感恩之心。我们应该感谢父母的养育之恩，因为他们为了我们的成长日夜操劳；我们应该感谢老师的教导之情，因为他们的谆谆教导使我们学到了知识，学会了做人；我们应该感谢所有帮助过我们的人，因为他们在我们最需要帮助时出手相助，使我们战胜困难并走出困境。感恩他人，这是一个永远值得被“点赞”的话题。

该话题的写作通常以记叙文为主，通过具体事例来体现某人的恩德，以及我们的感激之情。

★佳作赏评

My name is Mary and now I'm a newspaper reporter.I chose this job because I could travel around the world.The work has taught me many unforgettable lessons.I have seen wars,earthquakes and death.But I have also seen courage,hope and happiness.

Last year,I won a prize for my reporting in Africa.At first,I thought I got the prize because of my personal ability.But then I found I was wrong.I must thank many people for their help.Without their help,how could I have got the prize.

I was born in Jamaica.My family was not rich at that time.My parents had to work hard so that I could go to school.At school,I was not a top student,but I enjoyed writing.My English teacher said,“Mary,you are a wonderful writer.”I was greatly encouraged by what he said,and from then on,I kept on practicing.

A few years later,I began to look for a job.It was very difficult to find a job then.Then,one day,I went to see an editor of a newspaper to ask for a job.The editor gave me a job.“Everyone needs a chance at first.”he said.

It was my English teacher who encouraged me to be a writer.And it was the editor who gave me a chance to work.Now I realize that I must thank all the people who have helped me.

【权威点评】

这是一篇记叙文。作者以倒叙的方法写作，讲述了自己在一次获奖后的感受。她原以为获奖是她的能力所致，但后来发现这是众人相助的结果。她的父母辛勤劳作供她上学，英语老师深情鼓励她写作，编辑给她难得的工作机会。这一切使她认识到，她必须感谢所有帮助过她的人。

本文简单句和并列句居多，浅显易懂，同时也运用了几个经典句型。例如：

1.I chose this job because I could travel around the world.（表示因果关系的复合句）

2.My parents had to work hard so that I could go to school.（so that...表示目的）

3.It was very difficult to find a job then.（It is+形容词+不定式短语）

4.It was my English teacher who encouraged me to be a writer.（It is...who...强调句型）

5.And it was the editor who gave me a chance to work.（It is...who...强调句型）

6.Now I realize that I must thank all the people who have helped me.（含宾语从句和定语从句）

文中还运用了多个亮点短语，如at first、because of、at that time、work hard、from then on、keep on、look for、ask for等。

★写作点拨

1.时态定位

通过“感恩生活”间接“感恩他人”的短文，时态应根据表述的需要而定。叙述故事情节时，常用与过去相关的时态。表述感激之情时，常用一般现在时和一般将来时。

2.经典词句

写感恩父母、老师、同学、朋友，以及其他帮助过我们的人时，所涉及的主要词汇和句型通常有以下这些：

【高频词语】

father父亲，mother母亲，parents父母亲，teacher老师，student学生，doctor医生，nurse护士，classmate同班同学，schoolmate同学，workmate同事，friend朋友，family家庭，school学校，hospital医院，thanks谢意，kindness好意，thankful感谢的，grateful感激的，selfless无私的，appreciate感谢，thank感谢，help帮助，love爱戴，teach教，fail失败，succeed成功，remember牢记，forget忘记，always总是，forever永远，never永不

【典型句型】

1.As the saying goes,“parents'love is universal”.常言道：“可怜天下父母心”。

2.Parents'love is like the warmth of the sun.父母之爱就像温暖的太阳。

3.You treated me not only as your student,but also as a good friend of yours.您不仅把我看作您的学生，而且把我看作您的好朋友。

4.Without your teaching,I would not have succeeded today.没有您的教诲，就不会有我今天的成功。

5.You're my best friend/classmate in my life.您是我一生中最好的朋友（同学）。

6.I couldn't have done it without you.若是没有您，我是不可能做到的。

7.It is at a time like this that I really appreciate the kindness of a friend.只有在这样的时刻，我才会真正领略到朋友的深情厚谊。

8.I'm truly grateful for your help.我非常感激您的帮助。

9.Thank you for all that you have done for me.谢谢您为我所做的一切。

10.I must be thankful to all who have helped me.我必须感谢所有帮助过我的人。

★题例解析

某英文杂志社正面向九年级毕业生征文。请从以下要点中选择一至两个方面，并结合具体事例，用英语写一篇题为“Thank you,my teacher!”的短文参加此次活动。

要点如下：

1.严格要求；

2.耐心指导；

3.热情鼓励；

4.……

注意：

1.词数80-100；

2.可适当增加细节,以使行文连贯；

3.文中不得出现真实姓名及学校名称。

Thank you,my teacher!

【2018·安徽中考题】

【写作提示】

一、审题立意

从所给的题目“Thank you,my teacher!”，以及提示的内容可以看出，这是一篇关于学生感恩老师的记叙文。

文章中除了要写出三个所给的要点外，还需作者自己补充一个要点。

二、要点补充

提示中的第四点没有给出内容，需要自己补充。由于前三点说的都与学习相关，因此补充“老师在生活上关心我”，这样会恰如其分。

三、谋篇布局

该短文可以分为三段：第一段开门见山点明要感谢的人是Miss Li，并简述为什么要感谢她。第二段写具体事例，阐述Miss Li是如何帮助自己、关心自己。第三段可用表示感谢的语句作为全文的结束语。

四、语句表达

首段可用“I'd like to say thanks to...”作为主题句点明本文的话题。在这段中，我们还可把“help me,care for me,study English,in your class”等短语串联成句，简要交代当时老师所教的科目，以及关心、帮助自己等情况，以此引出下文的举例。

第二段可从学习和生活两个方面列举具体事例。在这段中，“be strict with,be patient with,encourage sb.to do sth.,take care of”是必须用到的短语，因此所给的要点和补充的要点中都必须用到这些短语。

本文结尾时，我们可用“Thank you,my dear teacher!”表达，与文章的标题相呼应。

写作时，要使用一些高级词汇和重点句型，让阅卷老师“点赞”。例如：

1.写“老师在学习上帮助我，生活上关心我”时，我们可用“not only...but also...”串联这个句子。

2.写“老师耐心帮助我”时，可用“You were patient to make me understand every single question.”表达，其中的make sb.do sth.就属于亮点结构。

3.写“师恩永不忘”等内容时，我们可用“The love...is always with me./I'll be thankful to...and remember...forever.”进行表述，其中的“forever、be always with sb.、be thankful to sb.”等都属于亮点词汇和短语。

五、时态运用

本篇文章的体裁为记叙文，因此在运用时态时应该这样：凡涉及举例的内容都应该使用与过去相关的时态，表达“牢记师恩”等内容的句子时用一般将来时态。

【参考范文】

Thank you,my teacher!

I'd like to say thanks to you,Miss Li.You helped me and cared for me a lot when I was studying English in your class.

You were very strict with me in my English study.Once I failed in the English test,and you were patient to make me understand every single question.With your help,I overcame many difficulties and made much progress in English.At that time,you not only helped me with my English,but also took good care of me.I still remember that I had a bad cold one rainy afternoon.On the way to and from the hospital,you gave the umbrella to me,but you were wet all over when we came back!

The love from you will always be with me.I'll be thankful to you and remember you forever.

Thank you,my dear teacher!

★尝试练笔

英语课上，老师要求你们介绍自己的母亲。假定你是Jim Green，你准备这样介绍：

你小时候每当遇到困难时，总是找母亲帮助解决，但她总是说“Do it yourself,dear.”。后来，你……

请根据以上提示，发挥自己的想象力，用英语写一篇演讲稿，标题是“What a great mother! ”。

要求：

1.不要逐字翻译提示内容，可适当发挥；

2.词数80-100（开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数）。

What a great mother!

Hello,everyone!My name is Jim Green.My topic is What a great mother._________________________

That's all.Thank you.