张超

Im Wang Lei. I often go to school by bike. Why do I choose in① this way to get there？

There are three reasons for that. First， riding a bike is a good way to keep health②. Second， it doesnt take me a very long time to get there. Whats more， when I get to school by bike， I will not feel tired. Third， riding a bike can protect our environment. Another important reason is that riding a bike is quite an③ useful way to help lose weight.

Now you can believe what I choose is right.

河北省阜城县第四中学八年级（9）班 王磊

点评

1. 优点：

首先，全文层次结构清晰，语言流畅，没有语法和拼写错误，可读性强。其次，本文用词准确、恰当，并且巧妙、恰当地运用了first、second、another important reason等一些过渡词，使文章衔接自然、结构紧凑。词汇quite的使用，也是本习作的亮点之一。最后，小作者以一个带有宾语从句的主从复合句结尾来再次点题，首尾呼应、相得益彰。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① 去掉in。choose是及物动词，后面直接跟名词短语作宾语。

② health改为healthy。keep healthy是固定短語，意为“保持健康”。

③ an改为a。useful是以辅音开头的单词。

3. 评分：

按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准，本文修改前可得18分。endprint