By Xu Xianglin

Three Dreams

By Xu Xianglin

On the bank of Rhine River, young Ryan intended to jump into the river to end his life. He was nearly 30 years old and felt he was a man of little accomplishment and he was penniless. Even worse, he had a homely wife at home. Ryan was sick of his damned life. One priest then asked, “So what are your dreams?”Ryan answered without hesitation,“I actually had three dreams, to be a super rich man like Mr. Wright, to become a high-ranking official like Mr. Speare, and to marry a gorgeous wife like Ms. Breece.” The priest said,“That’s easy, please follow me.”

The priest first led Ryan to Mr. Wright's sumptuous mansion where Ryan saw the rich man lying on the bed and coughing a lot with a sallow and lifeless face. Inside the golden silver bedpan was sputum mixed with a trace of blood. The priest turned around and said, “Mr. Wright sought wealth for his whole life at the cost of his health. Finally, he got what he wanted, yet he had tired himself out. More terribly, he did not even know his three sons were praying for his death in order to receive their share of inheritance earlier.”

Then, they together came to Mr. Speare’s office only to find Mr. Speare surrounded by bodyguards. It is quite normal that the bodyguards would taste the foods before Mr. Speare had a meal; that the bodyguards would stare at him with eyes wide open while Mr. Speare was sleeping and they crouched with him down even when Mr. Speare was using the toilet. The priest revealed to Ryan:“Because Mr. Speare had many political opponents, he would be assassinated if he did not take notice. Moreover, even when walking in the street, he has these bodyguards following. Seeing it, Ryan sighed, So, does it seem that Mr. Speare is like a prisoner?”

Ms. Breece, who was the most popular and sexy female film star of the time, was shouting at a Philippine maid in her home. Unexpectedly, she even pricked the maid with a lit cigarette. The maid’s skin undoubtedly blistered. The maid asked, “Madam, Mr. Burger is requesting to see you.” Ms. Breece sneered, “Just let him go. I decided to divorce him today and we no longer have a relationship. By the way, tell him that I am going to get married to my 12th husband tomorrow.” Then she slammed the door in the maid’s face.

Ryan was startled and could not utter a word. The priest immediately asked: “Young man, you can pick out one of your three dreams and I am sure you can make it.” Ryan thought for a while, replying, “Many thanks, my dear father, I actually don’t need anything. Compared with Mr. Wright, I possess health that he can’t buy with his money; compared with Mr. Speare, I own the freedom which he doesn’t have; as for Ms. Breece, my wife is more virtuous than her.”

在莱茵河畔，青年莱恩欲跳河一死。他认为自己年近30岁一事无成，一文不名，家里还有个看了恶心的黄脸婆，这样的日子受够了。牧师问道：“那么你的理想是什么呢？”莱恩说：“我曾经有三个理想，做像怀特那样的超级大富翁，做像斯皮尔那样的高官，娶布蕾丝那样的漂亮女人做妻子。”牧师说：“这很容易，你跟我来吧！”

牧师领着莱恩先来到超级富翁怀特的豪宅，只见他正躺在床上大声咳嗽，脸色蜡黄，面前的金盆里是他刚吐过的带血丝的痰。牧师转身对莱恩说：“怀特先生不惜牺牲自己的健康追求财富，结果财富得到了，他却累倒了，他还不知道三个儿子正祈祷他早日升天，好早日继承遗产呢。”

两人又来到斯皮尔的官邸，只见他身边围着几个人，显然是保镖。斯皮尔吃饭，保镖先尝；斯皮尔睡觉，保镖都瞪大了眼睛盯着他；就是斯皮尔上厕所，他们也在马桶旁蹲着。牧师对莱恩说：“斯皮尔的政敌很多，稍不注意就要遭到黑手，他就是上街散步，保镖都寸步不离。”莱恩失望地说：“那他和蹲监狱有什么两样？”

在当代最红、最性感的女明星布蕾丝家里，布蕾丝正冲一位菲律宾佣人大发脾气，她甚至拿起手里的烟头朝佣人身上扎，佣人的皮肤很快起了泡。女佣说：“小姐，伯格先生求见。”布蕾丝眼皮也不抬地吩咐道：“叫他滚出去，今天我已经和他离婚了，与他什么关系也没有了。顺便带个信儿给他，明天我就要和我的第12任丈夫结婚了。”说完，“啪”一声关上了房门。

莱恩看得目瞪口呆。牧师问莱恩：“小伙子，三个理想，你随便挑一个，我都可以替你实现。”莱恩想了一会儿，说：“不，牧师，其实我什么也不缺，与怀特先生相比，我有他所有金钱都买不来的健康，与斯皮尔先生相比，我有他所没有的自由，至于布蕾丝嘛，我老婆可比她贤淑善良多了……”

三个理想

文 |徐向林