I always wanted to go to college， but didn&apos；t think I was "good enough". My high school years were rocky1）. I was asked to leave my first school—a private Catholic school—at the end of freshman year. I&apos；d been hanging out with troublemakers， and my passing grades weren&apos；t high enough to be "Catholic-school acceptable".

At my second school， I also had a lot of friends， which led to easy distraction and bad grades. School wasn&apos；t important to me； I just wanted to go out and chill2）. I was falling behind， but I couldn&apos；t see how it would affect my future options.

I didn&apos；t get a lot of strong guidance from my parents. My mother hadn&apos；t attended college herself， and I knew she wanted me to go. But she never stressed it or really pushed me to get my work done.

我一直想上大学，但又觉得自己“不够优秀”。我高中那几年过得磕磕绊绊的。我上的第一所高中是一所天主教私立学校，在高一学年末我被要求退学，因为我整天和一帮捣蛋鬼混在一起，虽然考试成绩及格了，但不足以达到为“天主教学校所接受的标准”。

在第二所高中，我又交到了很多朋友，这导致我容易分心、成绩差。学业对我来说不重要，我只想出去放松一下。我慢慢落在了后面，但当时我看不出这会怎样影响我未来的选择。

我的父母没有给过我很多有力的引导。我妈妈自己就没上过大学，我知道她希望我上大学。但她从来不强调这一点，也从来不真的督促我完成作业。

During senior year， I wanted to turn back the hands of time. It started with parent-teacher conferences， where all of my teachers talked about how smart I was and how they wished I would put more effort into my school work. Afterwards， my parents wanted to discuss my future.

My father wanted me to become a cop. His main focus was me being able to retire after 20 years on the force. But I knew for sure I was not interested in law enforcement3）. My mother doubted that I would take college seriously and change my lazy ways. She was afraid I would go and end up partying4）.

Meanwhile， ever since I was small， my grandmother had told me， "I just want you to go to college and be someone in life." I didn&apos；t want to disappoint her or anyone else in my family by not living up to my potential. But I felt unsure of what I wanted.

The truth is， I did have goals. I&apos；ve always wanted either to become an astronomer or to become a news reporter or meteorologist5） （all of which require college）. I&apos；ve never been shy and I can talk to people about anything， which is essential in journalism. And I have always had a love for the stars and the planets. If I didn&apos；t go to college， what would I do？ These dreams would be out of reach.

But I never really spoke to anyone about my goals； I just figured I would deal with them when the time came. Now the time had come， and I had no clue what to do.

高中毕业那年，我希望时间倒流。事情的起因是家长会，会上所有的老师都说我有多聪明、他们有多希望我能把更多的精力放到学业上。事后，我父母就想讨论一下我的未来。

爸爸希望我成为一名警察。他主要关注的是我能在加入警队20年后享受退休待遇。但我清清楚楚地知道我对执法行业并不感兴趣。妈妈不相信我会认真对待上大学这件事并改掉我的懒惰习气。她担心我上大学会以吃喝玩乐而告终。

同时，从小奶奶就告诉我：“我唯一的希望就是你能上大学，出人头地。”我不想愧于自己的潜力，让她或家里任何人失望。但我不确定自己想要什么。

实际上，我是有目标的。我一直想成为一名宇航员或新闻记者或气象学家（所有这些都需要大学教育）。我从不害羞，能和别人聊任何话题，这对从事新闻工作是必要的。……