杨艳丽

“Comparison is the death of joy.”

比较是快乐的终结者。

“When you are content1 to be simply yourself and dont compare or compete， everybody will respect you.” —Mark Twain

“当你愿意做真实的自己，不和他人比较或竞争时，人人都会敬重你。”——马克·吐温

You compare cars， houses， shoes， money， social popularity and so on. And at the end of the day you pummel2 your self-esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings within.

你和他人拼车，拼房，拼鞋子，拼钱，拼社会名气等等。每天结束时，当你把自尊踩在脚下，很多负面情绪会随之而来。

So what can you do？ How can you get a handle on this habit？ Well， today Id like to share 3 steps that have helped me to move away from this：

对此，你能做些什么？如何改掉这个习惯？今天我就和大家分享改掉这个习惯的三个步骤，正是这三个步骤帮助我改掉了这个习惯。

Step 1： Just realize that you cant win if you compare yourself to others.

第一步：要知道拿自己和他人相比，你不会赢。

No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something.

在这个世界上，不论你做什么，你总能找到比你富有，能力比你强的人。

Yes， you may feel good for a while when you get a nicer car than your neighbor. But a week or two later youll see someone from the next block with an even finer car than yours.

是的，如果你的车比邻居的好些，你可能会自我感觉良好一阵子。但是，一周或两周后，你会发现相邻街区的某个人的车比你的更好。

Step 2： Compare yourself to yourself.

第二步：自己和自己比。

Instead of comparing yourself to other people， create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown， what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals.

不要拿自己和他人相比，相反，要养成自己和自己比的习惯。看一下自己成长了多少，收获了多少，距离自己的目标又前进了多少。

This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude， appreciation3 and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come， the obstacles4 you have overcome and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.

当你看到自己的进步，克服的困难，做过的好事时，这个习惯会帮助你学会感恩，学会欣赏自己，友善地对待自己。这时你就不需要通过轻视他人来让自己感觉良好。

Step 3： Be kinder towards other people.

第三步：对他人友善。

In my experience， the way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big， big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself. Judge5 and criticize people more and you tend to judge and criticize yourself more. Be kinder to other people and help them and you tend to be kinder and more helpful to yourself.

我的经验告诉我，你对他人的行为和看法在很大程度上影响着你对自己的行为和看法。对他人评价批判越多，你就越有可能评价批判自己。对他人越友善，你就对自己越友善。越是帮助他人，你就越会帮助自己。

So focus your mind on helping people and being kind. And appreciate what is positive in yourself and others.

因此，努力帮助他人，对他人友善。欣赏自己和他人身上的积极乐观的一面。

[1] content adj. 满意的 [2] pummel vt. 击；打

[3] appreciation n. 欣赏；感谢 [4] obstacle n. 障碍，干扰

[5] judge vt. 判断；审判