张传志

Mothers are always kind to their children and take good care of them. So does my mother.

My mother is a good mother. She looks after me well. She is strict with me. When I do something wrong， she will angry①. But I know she loves me very much.

Last week， I had a bad headache. I felt very terrible. My mother was worried with② me and took me to the doctors at once. After going home， she asked me to take medicine and cooked delicious food with me. She asked me to stay in bed and brought the food to me. At that moment， I felt her deep love and there were tears in my eyes.

My mother is such a strict teacher and nice friend of mine. She is the greatest mother in the world. I love her with my heart！

点评

1. 优点：

小作者通过一件小事描述了妈妈对他的爱。文章文字虽然朴实，却包含深情，字里行间都留露出小作者和妈妈之间深厚的母子情。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①will angry改为will be angry。when引导的主句缺少动词。

②with改为about。be worried about意为“担心，担忧”。

3. 评分：

按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准，本文修改前可得18分。