September 16th

The American Idol one again. Im trying to sing “Lets Stay Together” but no sound is coming out of my mouth. I look out at the judges and instead of Simon Cowell1） I see Bashar al-Assad2）. He claps， but I know hes being ironic. The audience laughs at me.

September 17th

I get a call from a Hollywood producer. （Was it Harvey Weinstein3）？ Cant remember now.） He says DreamWorks wants to adapt The Audacity of Hope4） into a big-budget movie with Denzel Washington5） as the lead. I tell Michelle and she says， “I love Denzel.” I feel jealous …？

Suddenly， Im in a hot-air balloon passing over South Dakota. The sun is just starting to set； the view is beautiful. Something tells me were approaching Mount Rushmore and I look down excitedly. To my horror， I see all of the heads on Mount Rushmore are of John Boehner6）. Just four John Boehners and theyre all laughing at me. I consider jumping out of the balloon.

September 18th

Im posing for a holiday card with the fam. But Malia wont stop frowning. I ask her politely to smile and she refuses. Finally， she opens her mouth—she has braces. Michelle tells me not to worry， and I notice that Michelle has braces too. Slowly I reach my fingers to my mouth and touch my teeth—braces. Crazy.

September 19th

American Idol. Im absolutely destroying “Sir Duke.” Like， every single note. Even Bashar is impressed. Then I look down and realize Im not wearing any clothes. Me， the President—naked. Needless to say， I feel foolish and vulnerable. I quickly ask a P.A.， “Who took my clothes？” but she wont tell me—then I see him， peeking behind the curtain， holding my suit. Boehner.

I chase him， but when I turn the corner Im in the chemistry lab at Punahou High School7）. I suddenly realize I havent studied and the final is today. If I dont pass the class I cant run for President （weird because I know Im already President， but somehow I dont know in the dream）.

I panic and ask if I can use the restroom. My teacher says no—its on government shutdown.

September 23rd

Back on American Idol. Its the final round， and the winner gets control of all three branches of government and a movie deal. Im trying to explain to the audience that Obamacare8） and the Affordable Health Care Act9） are the same thing. Getting boos because my speech doesnt rhyme.

I look out， expecting to see Bashar al-Assad or Boehner， but I notice an empty judges chair. Its just sitting there. Like its waiting for me.

I walk off the stage and sit in the chair. The pleather feels good. I look down and realize Im wearing a flowing black robe. Then I feel my head—powdered wig10）. I look to my left and right to discover that Im flanked on each side by four Supreme Court Justices. Not the current ones—the best ones. Of all time. John Marshalls directly to my left， cracking his knuckles， ready to rock. John Harlan just said something funny to Earl Warren； theyre both losing it. Ruths still here， obviously.

Were like the All-Stars， the Harlem Globetrotters11） of the judicial branch. Im pumped up， sure， but I also feel a sense of peace， of belonging， of purpose. My ethical analysis and calculated reason will actually be respected here. Maybe even cherished.

Mitt Romney12） walks onstage as the next act， and I start clapping ironically.

9月16日

又是一个关于《美国偶像》的梦。我想唱《让我们在一起》这首歌，但我的嘴里没有发出任何声音。我朝评委席望去，看到的却不是西蒙·考维尔，而是巴沙尔·阿萨德。他在鼓掌，但我知道他是在喝倒彩。观众们在嘲笑我。

9月17日

有一个好莱坞制片人给我打来电话。（是哈维·温斯坦吗？这会儿记不起来了。）他说梦工厂想把《无畏的希望》改编成一部大投资的电影，由丹泽尔·华盛顿担纲主演。我告诉了米歇尔，她说：“我爱丹泽尔。”我吃醋了……？

突然，我发现自己正乘着热气球飞过南达科他州。太阳刚开始落山，景色很美。我觉得我们就要到拉什莫尔山了，于是我兴奋地往下看。让我惊恐的是，我看到拉什莫尔山上的头像都是约翰·博纳。正好四个约翰·博纳！他们都在嘲笑我。我都想从热气球上跳下去。

9月18日

我正和家人一起摆姿势拍摄节日贺卡照，但玛丽亚（编注：奥巴马的大女儿）一直皱着眉头。我礼貌地让她笑一笑，可她不肯。终于，她咧开了嘴——她带着牙套。米歇尔告诉我不要担心，我注意到她也带着牙套。我慢慢地把手指伸到嘴里，摸了摸我的牙齿——牙套。疯了。

9月19日

《美国偶像》。我绝对完美地演绎了《杜克先生》这首歌。嗯，每一个音符。连巴沙尔都被打动了。然后我朝下看去，却意识到自己什么衣服都没穿。我，堂堂一国总统，竟赤身裸体。不用说，我觉得自己愚蠢又脆弱。我赶紧问一个私人助理：“谁拿了我的衣服？”但她不告诉我。然后我看到了他——正躲在帷幕后面偷看，还拿着我的西装——博纳。