by Julie Brown

Growing up， I felt like I knew the path to happiness. The story went something like this： if I worked hard in middle school and even harder in high school， I would get into a “good” college. Then， if I worked really-reallyreally hard in college and pulled one or two or 20 all-nighters[开夜车] studying for tests and writing essays， I would get a “good” job. Then， after working a few years for 60 or more hours a week， I would be promoted to a better job with longer hours but less grunt work[枯燥乏味的工作]. Then， after a decade or two more of working for 80 or more hours a week， I would finally arrive there， to “the successful， happy place.” But， lately， I have been spending a lot of time questioning the path to happiness.

I started questioning this path to happiness when I took a joke philosophy[哲学] class last year. Admittedly， a lot of the class was mumbo-jumbo[胡言乱语]； we spent most of the class analyzing[分析] our personalities and the elements of our personal spiritual chakras[脉轮]. But， after one of our weekly meditation[冥想] sessions， my professor played the video “Life Is a Dance” by Alan Watts注1. In three minutes， Watts convinced me that “the successful， happy place” I have been working toward does not exist. Watts video made me really question my path. I started thinking about my dreams and my bucket list注2. This led me to realize how much I want to travel and motivated[刺激] me to start planning my trip around the world （flying from Spain to South Korea next week！）. Then， somehow， all of this has led me back to the beginning， questioning the American path to happiness.

I realize， especially in the States， I am surrounded by a culture of people putting up with[忍受] crap[（俚）粪便] to get to the imaginary “successful， happy place.” For example， just this morning， browsing[浏览] through my Facebook News Feed注3 （a really nasty habit that I should stop but thats a whole other story）， I saw my friend had posted on her Facebook “All I do is sleep”and her friend posted in response “Lucky you！ All I WANT to do is sleep.” A few months ago I would not have given this a second thought. I would have seen this and thought “of course people are pulling all-nighters， they want to do well on their assignments[作业] to get good grades to get good jobs （which， of course，will ultimately get them to ‘the successful， happy place）.” Now I realize that this is crazy talk. If all you WANT to do is sleep…sleep. If all you WANT to do is eat…eat. Its really that easy.

But， after removing myself from this crazy path to the “successful happy place，” I am more in my mid-mid life crisis注4 than ever before. After starting classes at Berkeley注5， I thought I wanted to get a job in business consulting. To get there， I knew I would have to work reallyreally-really hard to get into the Haas School of Business and then I would work really-reallyreally hard to network[建立关系网] and interview with consulting firms. Then， after hopefully receiving an offer to work at a consulting firm， I would spend the next two or three years working 60 or more hours every week. I thought burying myself in work and killing my social life would make me happy. Now I realize that this path will not lead me to happiness.

I am realizing that life has no path to the“successful， happy place.” As Alan Watts says at the end of his video， life is “a musical thing and you were supposed to sing and dance while it was being played.” Life is about long hikes and hot cups of coffee with friends whom you love and admire. Its about climbing mountains and kayaking[划独木舟] in the ocean and exploring gypsy[吉普赛的] caves and running on wet foggy beaches. Its about sleeping when you need to sleep. Its about bonfires[篝火]. Its about growth. Its about sharing all of the love that you can possibly squeeze out of your heart. Happiness is enjoying the dance of life， not reaching “the successful， happy place.”

从小到大，我总觉得自己很清楚何谓幸福之道。这个过程大概是这样的：如果我在初中乃至高中努力学习，我就能考进一所“好”大学。接着，如果我在大学期间非常非常努力，用那么一两个晚上或者二十来个晚上为了考试和写论文开开夜车，我就能找到一份“好”工作。然后，一周工作60个小时（或者更多）地过了若干年，我就会升职，在一个工作时间更长，但没有那么多苦差事的岗位上干活。随后，一周工作80个小时（或者更多）地过了十几二十年，我总算熬到头了，到达“成功与幸福之地”。不过在最近，我经常会质疑这条幸福之道（的意义）。

我在去年半开玩笑地报了门哲学课，随后便对这条幸福之道产生了疑问。无可否认，这门课的很大一部分都是鬼话连篇——我们在课堂上花大量的时间分析自己的性格，寻觅个人灵性脉轮的元素。不过，在一次每周例行冥想结束后，我的教授播放了一段视频——艾伦·瓦茨的《人生如舞》。在短短的三分钟内，瓦茨让我明白到自己一直为之努力的“成功与幸福之地”其实并不存在。瓦茨的这段视频让我认真反思自己的人生道路。我开始考量自己的各种梦想以及遗愿清单。这让我意识到自己多么渴望旅行，并促使我开始筹备自己的环游世界计划（下周就从西班牙一路飞到韩国！）随后，不知怎的，所有这些都让我回归本初，对美国式的幸福之道产生了疑问。

我意识到——尤其在美国，我生活在这样一种文化当中：人们忍受着各种各样的屁事，不过是为了想象中的“成功与幸福之地”。打个比方，就在今天早上，我在浏览“脸谱”信息流（这是一个很不好的习惯，我应该戒掉的，但那又是另外一个故事了）时看到一个朋友在她的“脸谱”上说“我一直在睡觉”，而她的朋友回复道“真幸福！我一直想睡觉呢”。几个月前，这事情不会让我多想一下。我看见这话只会想：“大伙儿当然要熬夜，因为他们都想把功课做好，这样才能拿到好成绩，以后才能找到好工作（而好工作当然会让他们最终实现‘成功与幸福之地）。”现在我才发现这些都是傻话。如果你想睡觉……那就睡吧。如果你想吃东西……那就吃吧。其实就那么简单。

但是，当我从这条通往“成功与幸福之地”的疯狂道路上抽身出来之后，我的青年危机感比过去任何时候都要严重。在伯克利分校上课以后，我原本打算将来从事商务咨询工作。要实现这个目标，我知道我得非常用功才能入读哈斯商学院，然后我要非常努力才能与各家顾问公司建立关系网，参加面试。接着，我希望收到一家顾问公司的录用通知，然后在接下来的两三年里每周工作60个小时（或者更多）。我原本以为放弃社交生活、专心埋头工作会让我快乐。现在我才知道这并不是一条带我走向幸福的道路。

我渐渐意识到人生并没有通往“成功与幸福之地”的道路。正如艾伦·瓦茨在他那段视频的最后所说的那样，人生是“一段充满音乐感的旅程，你应该随着生命的韵律放声高歌，尽情起舞”。生活是长途的远足，是与你所敬爱的朋友一同享受的热咖啡；生活是攀爬高山，是划船出海，是在吉普赛山洞里探险，是在雾气湿润的沙滩上跑步；生活是当你需要睡觉时便睡觉，是篝火，是成长，是与他人分享你心中能挤出的全部爱意。幸福正是享受这段生命之舞，而不是到达那个“成功与幸福之地”。

注1：艾伦·瓦茨（1915—1973），英国哲学家、作家及演说家，以向西方人传播及推广东方哲学而著称。

注2：出自电影《遗愿清单》（The Bucket List，2007年）。影片讲述了两个末期癌症患者直面病痛，结伴同游，欢乐而充实地度过余下的日子的故事。电影公映之后反响极大，“bucket list”一词便成了人们在生活中的常用词组。

注3：“脸谱”网站上的一个功能，是用户登录后首先看到的内容，包含各种图片信息、状态更新等等，是该品牌旗下最重要的产品。

注4：青年危机，指发生在25至30岁、足以改变人生的一系列事情，这个词衍生于“mid life crisis”（中年危机），这个年龄正好是中年的一半。

注5：指的是加州大学伯克利分校（University of California，Berkeley）。该校在多个学术领域中位居全美前列，下文提到的哈斯商学院正位于此，是美国顶尖商学院之一。