by Elodie

Final exams are rolling around again， causing stress and crushing[粉碎] dreams. Wait， what？ How did this happen？ Wasnt May， like， yesterday？ Its the eleventh hour[最后一刻]， and its time to re-teach yourself a semesters[学期] worth of material. And we all know that when you walk into that exam room and take a seat， something takes hold[固定下来]. Something sinister[不祥的]. Something that was lurking[潜伏] in the shadows， waiting for the moment to strike[打]. Its your test-taking persona[角色].

Whether we like it or not， we all shed[摆脱] our identities[身份] and are reduced[使变成] to one of seven personas come exam day：

期末考试又要来了，让人压力剧增，夜不能眠。等一下，你说什么？这是怎么发生的？昨天不还是五月吗？现在到了最后关头，是时候再自己复习下整个学期的重要知识了。我们都知道，一旦走进考场坐下，有些东西就已成定局了。某些不祥的东西正潜伏在暗处，等待时机给你一击。这就是你的“应考角色”。

不管喜欢与否，我们都会在考试当天卸下各自的身份，还原为以下七种角色中的一种：

1. The Person W ho Knows E verything 无所不知的人

This person engages in high-powered page-flipping[翻转] like a multiple[多样的] choice-answering machine. They are， without fail， the first person to turn in their exam. They will then proceed[行进] to exit the room in a blaze of glory[荣耀之光]， possibly to the beat of some action movie soundtrack[电影配乐]， with the power and confidence of someone who really， truly studied. They might even do a few backflips[后空翻] just to bring it all home.

这种人就好像一个专门回答多项选择题的机器，以大马力快速翻页。他们是，一定是，第一个交卷的人。然后他们带着荣耀之光，或许还伴着某些动作片的配乐节奏，带着某些死命学习的人的力量与自信走出考场。为了更好地享受这种感觉，他们也许还会做几个后空翻呢。

2. The Person W ho Knows Nothing 一无所知的人

This person will be frantically[狂躁地] going through the exam， looking for a single question they know they can answer. They are nervous and confused and rapidly melting[融化的] into a puddle[水坑] of sweat right there in the middle of the room.

这种人会狂躁地熬过整场考试，只为寻找一个他们知道答案的问题。他们紧张不安、困惑不已，很快就在考场中央流下一水坑的汗水。

3. The Person W ho s Sick 生病的人

This person sounds like theyre coughing[咳嗽] up a lung， and its just about the only thing anyone can pay attention to. They will always be seated directly behind you， so that you can just feel the gusto[热情] of their sneeze[喷嚏] attack and know that youre next.

这类人的咳嗽声听起来就像是要把肺咳出来一样，而这正是每个人惟一能注意到的声音。他们总是正好坐在你后面，所以你刚好能感觉到他们打喷嚏时的热气，然后你就知道，下一个感冒的人会是你自己了。

4. The Cheat er 作弊者

Every class has a handful of[一小部分] them， and they are either very good at it or very bad. There are no so-so cheaters—there are only people who do whatever it takes MacGyver注1 a cheating device out of a No.2 pencil注2 and their own shoes， and people who just stare， rather obviously at their neighbors paper and seem surprised when this isnt allowed.

注1：马盖先，美国枪战动作片《百战天龙》的男主角，擅长用普通生活用品作为工具，帮助自己和搭档摆脱困境。……