My first regret, or maybe, the first regret I remember I knew going into this “fatherhood” thing that it would be difficult and that I would make mistakes. However, I never knew how right I could be. I have so many mistakes and regrets that I cannot possibly 1)enumerate them all here. I dont think the server has enough space to hold that much text! Still, here are some things Ive done, things I should have done, or things that I wish I never had done in my 11-year 2)tenure as a father. Maybe you can relate to some of these and we can take solace in our mutual company of misery. Or, better still, maybe you can read the 3)bonehead mistakes Ive made and convince yourself not to repeat my stupidity. In this particular article, Ill only mention one. But 4)rest assured, there are many more to come.

我第一个遗憾，大概是，我记忆中的首个遗憾，我也知道，为人之父不易，且我也会犯些错。但我之前不知道，其实很多事情本来是可以做好做对的。我犯过错误，走过弯路，太多太多，我不能在此一一列举。同样我也不认为服务器有那么多空间，放下那么长的“蠢事录”！尽管如此，在我为人父的十一年间，还是有一些我该做但未做以及我宁愿自己从未做过的事情。或许这些事会引起你的共鸣，我们还可以在彼此勉励、一吐苦恼之时获取安慰。再不然，有个更好的主意，或许你可以翻阅我以往的累累“笨”行，然后确保自己不再重蹈覆辙。在这篇特别的文章里，我只会提到一件事。但请放心，以后我会陆续告诉你更多。

As a father, my biggest responsibility is keeping my children out of harms way. And yet, I have been the direct cause of harm myself. I remember the first time how I actually brought physical pain to my child. My son was just a baby, not even a year old. I was holding him and 5)reveling in the wonder and 6)awe that one feels when holding ones own offspring. He was (and still is) so cute, I just wanted to “eat him up.” Of course, that is a figure of speech. No one ever really bites their child. And yet, thats exactly what I did. As I was holding him, my excitement grew and grew until it nearly reached a 7)fever pitch. I just couldnt contain my 8)euphoria any longer. So, with teeth bared, I bit his shirt. As my teeth sank into his little outfit, I had the unusual feeling of softness between my 9)incisors. “Wow,” I thought. “This shirt must be 10)padded or something.” Then it happened.

身为人父，我的首要职责便是确保我的孩子远离伤害。然而，我却成为了那个“高危元素”。我记得第一次我是如何切实地让我的孩子尝到了皮肉之苦。当时我的儿子还是一个未足岁的婴儿。我抱着他，像抱着自己后代的所有人那样，对生命的奇妙，我有着无限的感慨与敬畏。他当时（现在也是）可爱透了，我只想“把他一口吞掉”。当然，这只是打个比方。虎毒不食子嘛。可是，我还真就这么干了。我抱着他的时候，兴奋之情不知所起，极近爆表。我再也无法控制自己的欣喜之情。于是，我咧开嘴，咬了他的衣服。当我的牙齿嵌进他的小衣服时，唇齿间体验到了非比寻常的柔嫩感。“不错，”我想，“这衣服要不是有衬里就是有其他什么东西。”事情就这样发生了。

My precious son let out a scream that could have broken a wine glass! I immediately let go of my death 11)grip, shocked out of my dreamy happiness. His face was beet red and all 12)scrunched up like a 13)raisin. He was obviously in a great deal of pain. Just as I began to inspect my sons body to uncover and eradicate the threat, his hand raised up to cover the exact spot where my teeth marks could still be seen on his shirt. “Please, no. Tell me I didnt bite my son!” Alas, I had. I lifted his shirt to see what amounted to a pinch mark with clear 14)indentations in the unmistakable shape of my teeth. “Good Lord. I bit my son!”

我的宝贝儿子发出一声尖叫，分贝高到足以震碎一只杯子！我立马松口，从美梦中惊醒。他的小脸涨得通红，皱得像葡萄干一样。显然，他很疼。正当我要检查儿子身体看看怎么回事时，儿子的小手举高，恰好遮住了我“留痕”的地方，而在衬衫上依然能看到我的牙印。“天啊，别告诉我是我自己把儿子给咬了！”唉，我的确咬到他了。我撩起他的衣服，看到一小块痕迹，清清楚楚地显着我的牙印。“天啊，我刚才咬了我的儿子！”

His skin remained puckered up as if still caught in the grip of my sharp enamel.I instinctively started rubbing his wound hoping to wipe away the pain and soothe the nerve endings that must have been firing 15)at full throttle. My wife, 16)disconcerted by the abrupt 17)squeal from our first born baby, came 18)dashing into the room where she found me 19)on the verge of tears and our son in an 20)all out panic.

“What happened?!” she let out, wondering why she had trusted me to care for him to begin with.

“I bit him! I bit Cameron!”

“What?! Why did you bite him? What were you thinking?!”

God, or the universe, or 21)Allah, or evolution, or whatever you believe constructed this crazy existence we call life gave mothers a fierce instinct to protect their young. I wasnt completely aware of this, but looking back I realize that my own life was, at that moment, in grave danger of coming to an end.

他的皮肤还是红肿，就好像我的尖牙还在上面一样。我本能地开始摩挲他的伤口，希望能减缓他的痛楚并让他激痛的神经末梢镇静下来。我的妻子，因为我们生下的头一个孩子的惊声尖叫而惊慌失措，她冲进房间，发现我正泪眼朦胧，儿子则疼痛不已。

“出什么事了？！”她喊道，心里肯定后悔着为什么一开始竟然放心让我来照顾孩子。

“我咬他了！我咬了卡梅隆！”

“什么？！你为什么咬他？你脑子里想什么来着？！”

上帝，或者宇宙，或是真主阿拉，或进化论，或是其他你相信是造物主的东西，给予母亲一种保护幼崽的本能。我完全没有意识到这些，但回想起来，我才发现那时孩子他娘完全是一副要杀了我的样子。

“I didnt mean to! I just got excited because hes so cute!”

My dear wife must have thought I had lost my marbles. So, I was actually admitting that I had bitten her son? And my excuse was, “I didnt mean to? ” What an idiot!

The rest of the night I swung between two emotional extremes: 22)self-loathing for being a 23)moron and rage towards myself for the same reason.

Fortunately, Cameron recovered quickly and well. 24)Inexplicably he continued to let me hold him. I guess he still hadnt discovered cause and effect at such an early age. Had he associated that pain with me, the rightful owner of his misery, that may have been the last time for quite a while in which he allowed me to so much as touch him.

So, what do I take from this experience?

“我不是故意的！他这么可爱，我只不过是太兴奋了！”

我亲爱的妻子肯定以为我疯了。我确实承认咬到了她的儿子，而借口竟然是“我不是故意的”？真真儿的一个蠢货！

后半夜，我在情绪的两个极端间摇摆不定：由于自己的愚蠢行为，我既嫌弃自己又对自己狂怒不已。

万幸的是，卡梅隆恢复得非常快，情况也不错。奇怪的是，他并未拒绝我的怀抱。我猜他年纪还小，并没发现其中的因果关系。要是他把疼痛和我这个罪魁祸首联系起来，那么他让我尽情拥抱他的这么一小会儿以后都将不复存在。

那么，从这次失败中，我得到了什么经验教训呢？

Dont bite your kids! It hurts them. Well, maybe theres a little more to it than just that. From this moment, and 25)reinforced time and time again, I have understood just how careful fathers must be with their children. Even with the very best intentions, we can hurt our 26)prodigy in ways that we just dont expect. This moment is, of course, way too concrete. The fact is, there exist many more subtle ways in which we can misguide and send mixed messages to our children. How we fathers behave in both 27)jubilation and flat out anger impacts their minds, hearts, and souls greatly. Every moment is a teaching moment. Every action, every word, every facial expression... all of it… is picked up on and imprinted on these marvelous humans just trying to figure out how to make it in this 28)convoluted, messy world. Its overwhelming, really. I cant wrap my mind around it. If I concentrate on the depth of it too much, Im likely to have a panic attack! So, like everyone else I suppose, I trod through the day living moment to moment… just trying to remember to walk in a simple manner. Because those little footsteps I hear behind me will one day be leading another set of little footsteps. Thats a big responsibility… but thats what Ive signed up for.

不要咬自己的孩子！这会让他们受伤。好吧，或许还不止这些。此时此刻，随着岁月的累积，我明白了身为人父在面对自己的孩子时，需要多么小心。即使并无恶意，我们也很有可能不经意间伤害到我们的小宝贝——特别是此刻，我切身体会到这一点。事实上，很多时候，我们会不经意间误导孩子，向他们传递错误信息。身为人父，无论是高兴还是愤怒，我们的行为举止都会对孩子的思想、心灵，以及灵魂产生巨大影响。时时刻刻都是以身作则、言传身教的机会。每一个举止，每一句话语，每一个脸部表情……这一切都将会对那些试图在这个复杂混乱世道中成长起来的神奇小生命造成影响，镌刻永生。真的，这些让我透不过气来。我不能再围着这事儿打转了。如果我再过分沉浸于这些，我马上就要神经衰弱了！所以，跟其他人一样，我一步一脚印地走到今天……尽力提醒自己要简单明白地度日。因为，这些我留下的每一小步某天将成为珍贵的经验，日后孩子长大为人父母时也将受其影响。这是重大的责任……但对此，我义不容辞，不会推卸。