郭海宁

2009年高考已经落下帷幕,备战2010年高考的号角已经吹响,高三师生正在热火朝天地复习备考。笔者有幸参加了2009年高考阅卷,下面就高考英语(湖北卷)书面表达部分的阅卷相关情况跟大家谈谈体会,希望对高三备考有所帮助。

一、短文写作内容

要点:

1.不应使用“无所不为”,应使用“无所事事”;

2.说明这两个成语的用法;

3.给予鼓励。

4.参考范文(Possible version).

Hi! Tom,

Nice to read your e-mail today. I noticed youve begun to use Chinese idioms and used most of them correctly.

However, Im afraid there is one mistake Id like to point out. It is “无所不为”. This idiom means “do all kinds of bad things”. Are you doing all kinds of bad things at home? I guess what you were really trying to say is that youve got nothing to do these days. In that case, you should use “无所事事” . We usually use “无所不为” to express the idea that people dare to do anything bad, and “无所事事” to describe the situation in which people have got nothing meaningful to do. Have I made myself clear?

Anyway, Im amazed at the progress youve made.

Hope youll find a good job soon.

Huahua

二、档次的给分范围和要求

1.第五档(很好): 要点完整,表达清楚,无重大语法错误。

2.第四档(好):表达基本清楚,缺少个别要点,有些语法错误。完成了试题规定的任务。

3.第三档(适当):尚能表达,缺少多个要点,语法错误较多。基本完成了试题规定的任务。

4.第二档(较差):表达含糊不清,不能成篇。未恰当完成试题规定的任务。

5.第一档(差):动了笔,仅罗列了不成句的单词。未完成试题规定的任务。

6.0分,未能传达给读者任何信息:内容太少,无法评判;写的内容均与所要求内容无关或所写内容无法看清。

三、Range Finders(评分范围)

1.Sample 1

I am delighted to read your email but I find a mistake you have made. The Chinese idiom “无所不为”means doing all kinds of bad things. It is better to use “无所事事”which means having nothing to do. I hope you can think twice before you use these idioms.

Anyway, you still have made great progress in Chinese. It goes without saying that the process of learning consists of not only success, but also mistakes or even failure.

I am greatly convinced that you will be fluent in speaking Chinese soon.

此文属高分档作文,也就是第五档。用四个字来形容就是漂漂亮亮。内容清楚,行文流畅,读起来朗朗上口。如:

——覆盖所有内容要点。

——应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。

——语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误,但为尽力使用较复杂结构或词汇所致;具备较强的语言运用能力。

——有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑。

完全达到了预期的写作目的。

2.Sample 2

But I have to point an obvious mistake in your letter, the meaning of the 无所不为. As the real and actual meaning of the idiom you have used is do all kinds of bad things. Obviously it is not suitable here while you ought to use another, the 无所事事. For what you want to express is that you have nothing to do now. The former has a bad color meaning while the latter has no obvious colors. I wish that your Chinese will go into a step further. Also I was sincerely urge you can come to China and experience the Chinese culture more by yourself. I am looking forward to your reply.

此文属较好档,也就是第四档。用四个字来形容就是清清楚楚。看起来一目了然。

——虽漏掉一两个次重点,但覆盖所有主要内容。

——应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。

——语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确,些许错误主要是因尝试较复杂语法结构或词汇所致。

——应用简单的语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑。

达到了预期的写作目的。

3.Sample 3

It suggests that your Chinese has improved greatly. But there are also mistakes in your e-mail. It mainly refer to some Chinese idioms. For example, “无所不为”You should use it like this“无所事事”. Because “无所不为”it means “do all kinds of bad things”. It is bad to our Chinese. While “无所事事”it means “have nothing to do.”

As a foreigner, you can use most of Chinese idioms correct, you have success in learning Chinese. We all make many mistakes frequent, but we should try our best to correct them. So you should believe yourself and you will make greater progress.

此文属一般档,也就是第三档。用一个成语来概括就是马马虎虎,过得去。

——虽漏掉一些内容,但覆盖所有主要内容。

——应用的语法结构或词汇能满足任务的要求。

——有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误,但不影响理解。

——应用简单的语句间的连接成分,使全文内容连贯。

就整体而言,基本达到了预期的写作目的。

4.Sample 4

I found you made a little mistake. You want to express you have nothing to do, but you think that you do all kinds of bad things.

In Chinese idioms, “do all kinds of bad things”means a person worst. The idiom is a bad idiom. It doesnt was used for you. You should have used “have nothing to do”. It stand for a human havent something to do. You not understood the two idioms is unusuall, no one havent made mistake.

Although you made mistake about use idioms. I still happly for you begun to use Chinese idioms. I hope you could improve you Chinese. And I will improve my English. If you found my mistake. I glad you correct it.

Best wish for you.

此文属较差档,也就是第二档。用另外一个成语来形容就是糊里糊涂,看不太懂。

——漏掉或未描述清楚一些主要内容,写了一些无关内容。

——语法结构单调、词汇项目有限。

——有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误,影响了对写作内容的理解。

——较少使用语句间的连接成分,内容缺少连贯性。

信息未能清楚地传达给读者。

5.Sample 5

Im read your e-mail today. I think you study Chinese is a very good. But you have a little to is bed. The have a do all kinds of bad things in your e-mail. You shouldnt is do all kinds of bad things. It is no shouldnt on it. You should pay have nothing to do. So should is my have nothing to do on home. That no is my do all kinds of bad things on home. You know?

And you said you want have a work in e-mail. When my read is it, and I think is it is very good. If you have a work. You will no have nothing to do on home. So I holp you can have a good work.

此文为差档作文,也就是第一档。用一塌糊涂来形容一点也不为过。

——明显遗漏主要内容,写了一些无关内容,原因可能是未理解试题要求。

——语法结构单调,词汇项目有限。

——较多语法结构或词汇方面的错误,影响对写作内容的理解。

——缺乏语句间的连接成分,内容不连贯。

信息未能传达给读者,未完成写作任务,没有达到写作的目的。

此外,还有部分学生写了一些与本作文毫无关系的一段文字,尽管没有错误,我们只能给0分了。

四、学习备考中的误区

了解了作文评分,便于我们学习备考,以免走弯路。而我们在书面表达学习方面存在很多误区。

1.重语法,轻表达。

在平常的学习中,有些同学过于重视语法错误,以致写起来前怕狼、后怕虎,碍手碍脚,甚至不敢轻易动笔。诚然,语法知识很重要,尤其在完成句子中,语法尤为重要,不能出现任何差错,否则就无法得分。但在写作过程中,语法知识是基础,重要的是信息传递、传情达意即可。例如一个学生写到I go to see a good movie last night. 这种错误很明显,go→went,但是大家都能听懂看懂,不必大惊小怪的,可以传递句子信息即可。类似错误还有单数第三人称主语的谓语动词,学生经常忘记加上s 或者‘es等等。如,My brother like to play basketball.它的表义清楚,传达了信息,学生认真仔细就可以避免这种简单的、不必要的错误。当然如果这样写,就另当别论了。如 I am likes English study, and I works hardly.这种表义就有问题了,要认真纠正,要把语法结构搞清楚,把简单的句子写正确。再如Sample 4,隔三差五有点对,稀里糊涂有点差。从表达的角度讲,没有传递相关准确信息,没有完成写作任务。

2.重形式,轻内容。

在备考中,有的学生大量地背诵一些经典句型,如一些开头、承上启下、转折、对比、结尾的套话,这当然无可厚非。只要能把内容写完整、准确,恰如其分用上这些套句,可以让作文锦上添花。但是阅卷过程中,很多学生这些套句写得很好,也很正确,但是内容却有疏漏、缺失、错误连连。很明显有背书的痕迹,除了几个套句正确外,很难找到一个完整、正确、表达清楚的句子,这样是不可能得高分的,也是得不偿失的。所以,要从基础抓起,一点一滴,逐渐积累。把内容放在首位,一字一句写正确、清楚,言之有物,内容丰满,再去追求形式美化,方可达到目的。

3.过分看重字迹

平时训练时,老师都强调书写字迹。字好一半文,好的字迹给人美感、让人赏心悦目。尤其在紧张的阅卷中,老师看到漂亮的字迹眼前一亮,忍不住多看几眼,甚至多给1-2分,这是人之常情。但高考阅卷并不是这样。高考不是在选美,而是在选才。在阅卷的过程中,有一些同学,由于自身的原因,不是很善于书写或书法,但是写出来的作文内容完整、表达正确、遣词造句得体,行文流畅,也如愿得到高分。有的甚至高达24分。

再者,由于有的学生过于在乎书写和字迹,他们先在草稿纸上完整写一遍,再往答卷上誊写一遍,结果时间用得过多,以致没有时间做其它的题目,结果因小失大,得不偿失。

相反地,还有一些学生,只是把试卷上作文的一头一尾抄写下来,中间就把阅读文章抄一段,看起来书写工整、漂漂亮亮,实则腹中无物,想骗取老师眼睛以换高分。这种情况也不在少数。我们只能够给0分。

由此看来,内容完整、表达准确比字迹工整、形式优美更为重要。

五、写作练习注意事项

书面表达是一种综合性很强、能力要求很高的测试。不仅要注重其文章的内容完整性和表达的目的性,还要注重其文章语句的结构美和篇章布局美(最好能分段),当然还少不了文章的书写形式美。

1.卷面整洁、布局合理、字迹工整。

平时练习时,注重书写工整、正确,字母的线条清晰,美观大方。书写一定要注意各个字母的笔划顺序和笔划所处的位置,强调字母间距要合理,字母大小比例要适中,与字母之间的组合要自然。书写时应讲究横平竖直,斜率一致,圆弧流畅。如要遵守大小写规则、连写规则、连字符规则、段落开头缩进规则、缩写规则、移行规则、标点符号应用规则和常用的修改规则等。

考生平时在书写时若能注意到卷面美观的重要性,这种工整规范的书写会给人带来视觉美的享受,自然就会给评卷教师留下良好的印象。对这一点,我们务必在平时练习时就要严格要求。明显的道理是:字迹潦草得叫人看不清或随意涂改的卷面,无疑会严重影响整题的得分。

2.审清题目,围绕中心,不漏要点,少犯错误

书面表达要切题,紧扣中心。千万不要无限发挥,以免“言多必失”。要求80～120字,100字左右即可。词少了,可能遗漏细节或要点;词太多,意味着插入了太多与主题无关的内容。力求全篇连贯通畅,语言规范得体,语法结构正确。多用有把握的句型和词组,少用生僻词。如果有些内容确实不好表达,可以换用简单词汇或者套用自己所背句型,学会迂回表达。

3.多用简单句,慎用长句

虽然评分标准鼓励考生写作时适当使用一定数量的长句,以显示考生扎实的英语基础知识,但另一方面,由于复合句成分多,结构复杂,所以出错的机会也多。很多阅卷教师之间在交流时,大家都有一个共同感受:比起那些疙疙瘩瘩、读了半天找不到北的复合句,多数教师更愿意看顺顺当当的简单句。因此,在没有把握的情况下,最好少用或不用长句,以免给自己的作文带来不必要的损失。

[作者单位:华中师大一附中]

责任编辑周汉桥