At each Spring Festival,as soon as I arrived home,I would slam down my luggage and rush out to meet friends.My parents would shout from behind me,“When will you be back? Please make it earlier.”

“We haven’t seen each other for one year,” I replied without looking back.“It will be a little late.”

When we met back in Beijing,all of my friends were a little upset,for “we never seemed to spend much time with our parents.”

In fact,I spent more time with my friends than with my parents.

I only ate at home three times,while my parents cooked a lot of delicacies.

They were all asleep when I got home.And the next day when I woke up at noon,I’d hurry to have lunch out with friends.It seems that each time I go home,I don’t really talk with my parents for more than ten minutes.Nor do I have a good look at them.I don’t even bother to listen to their nagging—not knowing whether they can chat through WeChat,and what we know about our parents seems frozen in a longago memory.

Several friends would regret having behaved to their parents like this,but as sons or daughters,they had their own worries and difficulties.

Some were afraid that they would be pushed to get married when they talked with their parents.

Some were afraid of quarrels because they differed a lot from their parents in their shopping behaviors.

一

很多年的春节，我到了家，放下行李，就跑出去和各种朋友相聚。爸爸妈妈跟在后面喊：“什么时候回？早点回。”我头也不回地说：“一年没见了。晚点回。”

回到北京，朋友相见，个个觉得懊恼：“我好像都没怎么陪父母。”

其实，我和朋友待在一起的时间，比和父母的还要多。

我在家只吃了三次饭，他们做了好多菜。

我回家的时候，他们都睡了。我中午醒来又赶着和别人吃午饭。好像每次回家和父母都没好好聊十分钟，没有仔细看过父母的样子，甚至都懒得听他们抱怨，不知道他们是否会用微信语音聊天，对父母的了解还只是停留在很久很久之前。

几个朋友都悔不当初，但子女也各有苦衷。

有人是因为和父母聊两句就会被催婚，害怕。

Some were afraid of embarrassment because they had no idea how to communicate with their parents.

Even if we chose to stay with our parents,how could we promise to make them happy and feel at ease?

Finally,I advised,“Why not organize a travel group touring with our parents? They are almost the same age and share common topics of interest.Besides,it would be easier for our families to take care of each other together.”

A chain of troubles followed.

One trouble was that our parents simply didn’t want to travel during such a traditional Chinese vacation as the Spring Festival.For this,we changed our plan and decided to leave on the lunar New Year’s Day,so that at least we could spend New Year’s Eve at home.The other was that our parents didn’t know each other,so it would be a little awkward when they met for the first time.Worst of all,they were not familiar with their son’s friends.

It was a challenging and timeconsuming task to get them acquainted,but since we decided to do so,we were prepared to spend time on it.

Since then,whenever a friend’s parents came to Beijing,all other friends in our circle would show up to eat,drink,and chat together.The parents would then be relieved to see that their child had such a group of funny,good-natured,and hard-working friends.

Gradually,we have all got to know each other’s parents.

The second step we took was to bring parents to a friend’s hometown on holidays,which helped some parents get familiar easily.

My father was good at drinking.So one day,he invited my good friend Will and his father,who is fond of liquor,to my hometown.At lunch,Will was a little timid at first,so he cautiously poured liquor into a small baijiu cup to make a polite toast to my father.However,my father picked up the mug (liquor divider) in front of him and told Will’s father,“Hey,my friend,since this is the first time we’ve met,let’s just finish the mug.You know the saying?Bosom friends gulp it down;nodding acquaintances take a sip.” Having never heard such a jingle before,Will’s father was stunned for a moment and then emptied the mug unconsciously.Will’s mother and mine were extremely worried right there.

My father patted Will’s father on his shoulder and said,“Bravo,buddy!”

Soon,the fathers’ faces flushed.Will and I exchanged glances,both convinced that they’d became brothers as we did.The mothers on the other side,unhappy about their husbands’drinking,joined hands to protest and become sisters too.

有人是因为和父母消费观念不一样，怕矛盾。

有人是因为完全不知道和父母怎么聊天，怕尴尬。

就算我们和父母待在一起，那又如何能让父母开心，我们也自在呢？

我说：“要不然，我们组织一次带着父母一起的旅行。他们年纪相仿，有共同话题。我们在一起也能互相照应。”

二

但麻烦也很多。

一是父母根本不愿意在中国传统节日跑出去旅行。那行吧，我们就大年初一出发，起码在家过了除夕。二是我们的父母彼此都不认识，肯定会很尴尬，而且他们也不熟悉我们的这群朋友。

那就让他们熟起来。这是一个浩大费时的工程，但既然决定去做了，就不要怕浪费时间。

之后，每次有朋友的父母来北京，朋友们就一起出现，一起吃饭、喝酒、聊天。父母们看到自己的子女有这么一帮有趣、性格好、工作努力的朋友，自然也放心了。

渐渐地，我们都与彼此的父母熟悉起来。

那就到了第二步，找个假期带着父母一起去朋友的家乡串门，先让少数父母熟悉起来。

我爸特喜欢喝酒，于是约我的朋友Will 带着他喜欢喝酒的爸爸来到我的家乡。一开始Will 爸爸还非常拘谨，拿着分酒器把白酒倒在小白酒杯里要跟我爸爸客气地敬杯酒。我爸拿起面前的分酒器对Will 爸爸说：“嗨，老弟，我们第一次见，就直接干了分酒器吧。感情深，一口闷；感情浅，舔一舔。”Will 爸爸哪里见过这种顺口溜，一愣，然后毫无意识地干了分酒器里的白酒。

Will’s father said,“Tongtong’s father,I have another good friend,Dada’s father,who is also fond of drinking and loyal to friends.Next time let’s drink with him together.”

Dada clapped and echoed,“Next time you drink,I’ll bring an anti-alcohol dose.It will make you feel more comfortable after drinking.”

It took about two years for the four friends’ parents to get to know us,and for all our parents to get acquainted and familiar with each other.

Last year,we formed a tour

group of eight elders and four youths to go swimming on a tropical island.

This year,we went to a hot spring in the Snowy Mountain.Snow is quite common in Chenzhou City,Hunan,so my parents said,“We know enough about snow,but we will follow your decision.”

我妈妈和Will 妈妈在旁边急死了。

我爸拍着Will 爸爸的肩膀说：“好兄弟，这才够意思。”

没一会儿，两位爸爸的脸开始泛红，我和Will 对视一眼，妥了妥了，他俩已经成为朋友了，而两位妈妈因为很气两位爸爸喝酒，也瞬间成了姐妹。

Will 爸爸说：“同同爸爸，我还有一个好朋友，达达爸爸，很喜欢喝酒，也很讲义气，下次我们约他一起喝。”

达达在旁边鼓掌，说：“下次你们喝，我给你们准备解酒药，喝了头不疼。”

When we went out of the hotel,it was snowing heavily,blanketing the ground.When she caught the sight of it,my mother got excited and exclaimed,“Wow! I’ve never seen such heavy snow in my entire life!”

“Mom,go play in the snow,and I’ll take a beautiful picture for you.”

My mother ran merrily to lie down in the snow and began to pose.I had never seen my mother so ecstatic before.Suddenly I stopped taking a picture.Instead,I switched to video mode to record the moment—my mother looked so overjoyed and childlike.Now I always habitually lie to her that I will take good pictures of her while making videos instead.

I often say to her,“Mom,you would look prettier if you jump high in the snow.Come on,jump...”

Sharing the same hotel room with my parents,I came to know when my parents usually got up.My father was the first to go to the bathroom in the morning,and my mother spoke loudly after waking up,unaware that I was still asleep.I used to think my father snored so loudly that I got up in the middle of the night to shake him.But this time I found that his snoring was wholly drowned out by my mother’s.

It has turned out that my mother was the real snorer when she’s exhausted.

They even didn’t know how to use a smart toilet or how to tell a hotel shampoo from a shower gel.

They would get up to turn offthe lights,not knowing that there was a switch at the bedside.

They were afraid to eat the free snacks in the room for fear of being overcharged.

My mom had a habit of traveling with a portable washbasin and a portable hanger,because every day she had to wash her own lingerie,but she couldn’t find a place to dry it.

I said,“Mom,don’t bring the washbasin when you go traveling.Just bring a few more clothes.It’s easier to wash them when you return home.”

On the plane back to Beijing,

Will said,“I’m not sleepy at all now.Looking through the photos we took,I just feel that every moment we caught was filled with happiness and every shot was so precious.”

Our parents have gone from a little awkwardness in the first year to full relaxation and even over-indulging this year,from a lack of understanding of the outside world and a sense of self-preservation resulting from tension,to the point where every question and action came naturally.Thinking about that,it’s really fun to see how curious and rebellious they’ve become,like a child who has entered a new world.The tension,impatience,and quarrels in our family of three diminished a lot on the journey.It costs a man their whole life to learn,grow up,and respect each other.

大概花了两年时间，四个朋友的父母认识了我们，父母之间也相继认识。

三

八大四小旅行团是去年开始组建的，一起去了热带海岛游泳。

今年我们选了雪山泡温泉。郴州常见到雪，所以爸爸妈妈说：“雪有什么好看的，但你们要去就去吧。”

等我们到了酒店，一出门，真的是漫天飘雪，一片一片跟鹅毛似的，我妈瞬间大喊起来：“哇，我第一次见到这么大的雪啊。”

“妈，你去雪地里玩雪，我给你抓拍一张开心的照片。”

我妈就开心地跑到雪地里躺着，开始摆拍。我从来没见过妈妈那么开心的样子，突然就舍不得拍照了，默默地把拍照模式切换成视频模式，想把这一刻记录下来——我妈真傻，但真的好可爱。

后来我就上瘾了，总是骗她说给她拍好看的照片，其实只是为了拍视频。

比如我跟她说：“妈妈，你在雪地里跳起来会非常好看，来，跳一个……”

这些天，和父母同住一个房间，我才知道父母一般都是几点起床，起床后我爸第一个去洗手间，我妈起来之后立刻大声说话，完全不在意我还在熟睡。以前觉得我爸鼾声很大，我半夜爬起来去摇他，现在发现他的鼾声完全被我妈的盖过了……

原来，我妈只要一累，就会打鼾。

Seeing our parents at this time,we naturally recollect our childhood,as if we would lend more time to each other in the circle of life.

I suddenly became scared that they were getting older and older.

But when I saw their excitement and exhilaration when facing new experiences,I knew they were not old,but just a little bored being in the same place for so long.

If I lend them some time,they will age slowly.

(FromRemaining Independent,Beijing United Publishing Company.Translation:Qing Run)

他们并不知道如何使用智能马桶，也分不清楚酒店的洗发水和沐浴露。

他们会爬起来去关每个角落的灯，不知道床头有一个总控开关。

他们不敢吃房间里赠送的点心，怕多收费。

我妈旅行喜欢带着便携式脸盆、便携式衣架，因为每天她都要清洗自己的贴身衣物，却找不到地方晾。

我说：“妈，以后出来不要带这些脸盆了，你多带几件换的就行，回去再洗，更简单。”

四

回北京的飞机上，Will 说：“在飞机上无困意，翻看了每一张照片，感觉抓拍到的瞬间都是真开心，欣慰每一幕的珍贵。”

想想父母从第一年的偶尔局促到今年的松弛，甚至小心放肆，从对外面世界的不了解或因紧张产生的时常不屑的自我保护，到现在每一个举动和疑问都自然随性，像儿时的我们刚刚接触新世界时的好奇和反抗，真有意思。

三口之家留在生活里的琐碎与不耐烦、遗留在旅途中的呛声，也慢慢柔和了很多。人一生都在学着长大，了解自己，彼此尊重，没有任何一刻是做到足够好的，所以需要更多时间去提醒、磨合，不断接近更好。

看到此时的父母，想到儿时的我们，犹如在轮回中互相多借些时间。

曾经，我害怕他们老了。

但当我看见他们对新世界兴奋的样子，我知道他们没老，只是在一样的环境中待久了，麻木了。

还给他们一些时间，他们能老得更慢一点。

（摘自《一个人就一个人》北京联合出版公司）