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雅思写作中的句子基本功(五):句间连贯与句式选择

2021-02-26唐老雅

英语世界 2021年2期
关键词:美洲狮连贯性连接词

在修改雅思学生的习作过程中,老雅经常发现这样一个问题:学生习作段落中的单句看起来问题不大,但把这些句子放在一起,总觉得不够连贯。造成这种现象的重要原因就是句子之间缺乏连贯性。

增强句间连贯的方式有很多,比如使用连接词,如and、so、but、since等,这些连接词很明确地显示句子之间的关联,因此能将句子连接起来。在使用连接词方面,我们需要注意汉英的区别,即汉语中连接词使用相对英语而言要少得多,这导致我们学生在写英语句子时,往往按照汉语习惯,该用连接词的地方不用连接词,从而导致句子之间缺乏连贯性。除了使用连接词,还可以使用代词、名词重复等方式来实现句子之间的连贯。这些方法,只要多加注意,学生是比较容易掌握的。

在本文中,老雅准备给大家讲一种相对隐蔽因而也更难把握的连贯方式,即通过句式的选择来实现句间连贯。我们先来看以下这个段落:

It will be a long time before any landing on Mars can be attempted. This will only be possible when scientists have learnt a lot more about the atmosphere that surrounds the planet. If a satellite can one day be put into orbit round Mars, scientists will be able to find out a great deal. An interesting suggestion for measuring the atmosphere around Mars has been put forward. (选自《新概念英语》第三册第9课)

画线部分的句子可以改写成:Only when scientists have learnt a lot more about the atmosphere that surrounds the planet will this be possible. 从语法上看,这个句子也毫无问题,但原文为什么不使用这个句子呢?同学们在阅读中可能很少去问这样的问题,但其实思考这样的问题对我们提高写作太重要了。我们可以看到,本句中的this指代的是前面landing on Mars,本句后面部分则引出科学家如何去了解火星周围的大气层。这样,本句在该段中就发挥了承上启下的功能:this放在句首承上句,“when scientists have learnt more about...”放在后面接下句,这样的句式安排就完美地实现了句间的连贯。如果用改写的句式,这种严密的连贯性就会遭到破坏。

如果从以上例子抽象出一个规则来,我们似乎可以这样说:段落中的句子,其前半部分的内容最好是旧信息,承接前面句子中的内容,后半部分可以提出新信息,预告后面句子中的内容。这样的句式安排有利于实现句间连贯。不妨再看一例:

Pumas are large, cat-like animals which are found in America. When reports came into London Zoo that a wild puma had been spotted forty-five miles south of London, they were not taken seriously. (选自《新概念英语》第三册第1课)

当有人向伦敦动物园报告说当地看见了一只美洲狮, 为什么人们不以为然? 这需要在上文寻找答案。美洲狮是“体型大、形状似猫的动物”与本问题无关,只有“长在美洲”与问题相关:正因为美洲狮是长在美洲的动物,因此当有人报告在伦敦附近看到了一只美洲狮,人们便不以为然。这样,which从句所表达的内容就解释了后面一句的内容,把这个从句的内容安排在句末,显然更有利于句子之间的连贯。如果我们来更换一下句式,将原句改写成:Pumas are animals found in America, which are large, cat-like. 这个句子语法也没有错误,但放在这个语境中,句间连贯性就大为减弱了。

为了让大家看到句式安排对于句间连贯的重要性,兹再举一例:

We are aware of our responsibility to our critics. We are also aware of our responsibility to the author who probably would not have authorized the publication of these pages. This responsibility we accept wholly, and we would willingly bear it alone. (選自索绪尔《普通语言学教程》前言)

本例中画线部分将this responsibility置于句首,显然是考虑到了上下文的连贯。因为前两句提到的是“我们意识到的责任”,第三句表示的是“我们愿面对责任并独自承担责任”, 将this responsibility提前,就紧承了前面句子中的“责任”,而后面的accept就与bear并列,让全段一气呵成,没有丝毫断裂感。如果将本句改为we accept this responsibility wholly,本句便不能很好地起到承前启后的功能了。

下面,老雅拟从《剑桥雅思》系列提供的考官高分范文中提取几个实际例子,按句间连贯的要求来解释这些范文中的句式选择。

例1:(1)However, learning to understand and share the value system of a whole society cannot be achieved just in home. (2)Once a child goes to school, they are entering a wider community where teachers and peers will have just as much influence as their parents do at home. (3)At school, children will experience working and living with people from a whole variety of backgrounds from the wider society. (4)This experience should teach them how to co-operate with each other and how to contribute to the life of their community. (选自《剑桥雅思8》考官高分范文)

本段共四句。句(1)接上段,说“学习社会价值体系不只在家里实现”,这句的重心在后面,“不只在家里实现”是新信息,引出句(2)中的once a child goes to school。如果把第一句写成“However, home is not the only place for children to learn to understand and share the value system of a whole society”,那它就很难自然地接第二句。句(2)的重心在后面,即“教师和同伴对孩子的影响很大”,引出句(3)中的“Children will experience working and living with people...”,句(4)则很自然地以this experience开头,承接上句,然后提出新信息,即“这种经历教会孩子们互相合作”。如果把最后一句改为“They can learn how to cooperate with each other... from this experience.”,语法虽然正确,但连贯性就差很多。不难看出,本段中的每个句子都是按照“旧信息+新信息”的模式来安排句式的,其中旧信息承接上句,新信息启动下句。

例2:(1)In many countries, the birth rate is decreasing so that families are smaller with fewer children.(2)These children are often spoilt, not in terms of love and attention because working parents do not have the time for this, but in more material ways.(3)They are allowed to have whatever they want, regardless of price, and to behave as they please.(4)This means that the children grow up without consideration for others and without any understanding of where their standard of living comes from.(选自《剑桥雅思4》考官高分范文)

本段也由四句构成。句(1)提出许多家庭的孩子数量减少了,把with fewer children放在句末以引出后面的these children。如果将第一句改写为“In many countries, families are smaller with fewer children because the birth rate is decreasing”,那么句子的重心就落在birth rate上,也就很难引出下面的these children are often spoilt。句(2)和句(3)是并列句,采取的都是“these children are...”的句式,共同说明现在社会里孩子的问题。句(4)则由“this means...”承前,并引出下面的内容。这个段落中的句子模式也基本是“旧信息+新信息”,前一个句子后半部分的新信息成为后一个句子前半部分的旧信息,并由这个旧信息再引出新信息,以此類推。

例3 :(1)However, there are certainly dangers in taking time off at that important age.(2)Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to readapt to an academic environment.(3)They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job or to do something completely different from a university course.(4)But overall I think this is less likely today, when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career. (选自《剑桥雅思5》考官高分范文)

本段依然由四句构成(常规的雅思写作段落都在四至五句之间),其中句(1)是主题句,句(2)和句(3)是并列的,共同说明间隔年(gap year)可能对young adults产生的影响,句(4)则表明作者自己的立场。句(2)和句(3)采用的都是“young adults may do...”的句式,句(4)为了承接前面,将this is置于句首,而将when引导的状语从句置于句末。如果我们按照正常语序,将when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career置于this is less likely today之前,则会影响到(2)(3)两句与句(4)之间的连贯性。

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