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篇章模式视角下的高中英语概要写作探究(二)

2019-10-21吴俊峰

作文新天地(高中版) 2019年8期
关键词:内文原句主旨

吴俊峰

概要写作,是一种控制性的作文形式,要求阅读者在忠于原文的前提下,用自己简洁、精练的语言来概括文章的主旨与主要内容。概要写作评分标准要求:1.对原文要点的理解和呈现情况;2.应用语法结构和词汇的准确性;3.上下文的连贯性;4.对各要点表达的独立性。基于此标准,完成一篇概要写作需要重视语篇结构的解读分析,从语篇的体裁、结构入手去解读和架构概要篇章;从段际、句际、句内的逻辑关系去解读和建构语篇内含的衔接连贯。

本文延续上期的“正反议论模式”(编者注:发表于本刊2019年1·2期),进一步通过讲练结合的形式谈谈概要写作四种常见篇章模式中的“先破后立模式”和五个科学步骤。

一、先破后立模式

主要特点:先破后立模式的文章结构很适合写争议性观点的文章,通常论证与自己相反的观点的错误性,自然地引出自己的观点,然后对自己的观点加以论证。先破再立,破中有立,辩证统一,在批驳错误论点的同时,阐明了自己的主张。该模式体现了批判性思维的运用,要对准靶子,抓住要害,注意分寸。

基本结构:1.提出某问题;2.讨论相关观点;3.驳斥已有观点误区;4.提出新主张。

常用句式:

1.raise a storm of debates  引发一场辩论风暴

2.a controversial issue  有爭议性的问题

3.be supported by sound reasons  有充分的理由支持

4.Recently, …have caused much controversy.

最近……引发了广泛的争议。

5.The… is a hard evidence to demonstrate that…

……是一个确凿的证据,表明……

6.There is a striking difference between them.

它们之间存在显著的不同。

7.Thats not the case. / The truth is quite otherwise.

事实并非如此。/真相与此大相径庭。

8.The latest findings suggest otherwise. / challenge the long-held opinion that…

最新研究发现结果恰恰相反。/质疑了长期以来一直秉持的观点……

9.Some people believe / hold that… ,while others argue that…

对于这个问题,不同的人有不同的看法。有些人认为……另一些人主张……

二、真题链接(2016年6月杭州高二期末调研考试)

阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。

How can you start a conversation with an English person? The answer is quite simple. Many people will tell you that any English conversation begins with The Weather. Such a fixation with the weather finds expression in Dr. Johnsons famous comment that “When two English meet, their first talk is of weather.” Though Johnsons observation is as accurate now as it was over two hundred years ago, most commentators (评论者)fail to come up with a convincing explanation for this English weather-speak.

Bill Bryson, for example, concludes that, as the English weather is not at all exciting, the obsession (痴迷) with it can hardly be understood. He argues that “To an outsider, the most striking thing about the English weather is that there is not very much of it.” Simply, the reason is that the unusual and unpredictable weather is almost unknown in the British Isles.

Jeremy Paxman, however, disagrees with Bryson, arguing that the English weather is by nature attractive. Bryson is wrong, he says, because the English preference for the weather is not about the natural phenomena at all. “The interest is less in the phenomena themselves, but in uncertainty.” According to him, the weather in England is very changeable and uncertain and it attracts the English as well as the outsider.

Bill Bryson and Jeremy Paxman stand for common conception about the weather-speak among the English. Both commentators, somehow, are missing the point. The English weather conversation has nothing to do with the weather. English weather-speak is a system of signs, which is developed to help the speakers overcome the natural reserve and actually talk to each other. Everyone knows conversations starting with weather-speak are not requests for weather data. Rather, they are routine greetings, conversation starters or the blank “fillers”. In other words, English weather-speak is a means of social bonding.

三、寫作步骤

1. 浏览全文,抓住短文大意,分析体裁特点

上述真题是说明文,分为四个段落,讨论了英国人为何见面时最普遍的话题莫过于谈论天气。第一段首先提出谈论天气成为英国人见面的主要话题方式,但对此现象人们至今未找到令人信服的解释(提出问题),然后第二、三段从正反两方面分析多变的天气本身到底有无强大的吸引力而引起人们谈论(分析问题,陈述已有观点),最后在第四段驳斥了上述两种观点误区,并提出作者的主张“事实上,对于保守的英国人来说,谈论天气是一种安全不侵犯他人隐私的话题,有助于克服交际障碍,建立最浅层次的友谊链接,实现真正的交际沟通”(驳斥已有观点,提出新主张)。

2. 再次快读,明确段落主旨,画出思维导图

不难看出,第一段提出问题,第二、三段从正反两方面分析问题,陈述两种已有观点,第四段驳斥已有观点,最终提出作者的主张。其思维导图如下:

【技巧点拨】要学会画思维导图,因为清晰的框架流程有助于保证要点表达的独立性和完整性,有助于分析各段落间的衔接关系,从而保证上下文的连贯性。

3. 最后细读,定位概写要点,画出关键词句

各段的要点分析如下(下划双线的句子为主题句,下划单线的句子为次要点,加边框的词为表示总起、转折、过渡、总结等功能的连接性词汇和过渡性词汇):

【技巧点拨】连接性词汇和过渡性词汇承担着总起、转折、过渡、总结等功能,要充分利用文本的语境,把握文章内容递进的脉络层次,体会这些词汇承上启下的“润滑剂”作用。结合本文谈主题句或要点的标志:

(1)段落中出现转折时,该句很可能是要点,如第一段Though引出的句子。

(2)作者有意识地重复的观点通常是要点,如第四段“In other words”引出的句子。

(3)首段出现疑问句时,对该问题的解答通常就是主旨句,如文章开头第一段“How can you start a conversation with an English person?”引出的主旨句子“any English conversation begins with The Weather”。

(4)段落或篇章主旨的标志词:therefore, thus,but, however, in short, simply, anyhow, somehow等,如第二、三、四段。

(5)在for example, first, second等之前的句子中,或在all in all, above all 之后的句子中,如第二、三、四段。

4. 转换表达,整合要点成句,初步连句成篇

(1)整合成句

要点1:将第一段两个主题句整合成一句,使观点更明确。此句使用though改为but连词表明转折关系;begins with 同义转换为be initiated with;most commentators fail to…句型转换为few commentators can;come up with a convincing explanation 词性转换为convincingly explain。

文本原句:any English conversation begins with1 The Weather, …Though2 …most commentators fail3 to come up with a convincing explanation4 for this English weather-speak.

转换表达→English conversation is naturally/inherently initiated with1 the weather topic, but2 few commentators3 can convincingly explain4 the reason for it.

要点2:第二段次要点“Simply, the reason is that the unusual and unpredictable weather is almost unknown”是例子和重复信息,为了简明扼要,可省略和削减。

文本原句:Bill Bryson, for example, concludes that1, as the English weather is not at all exciting2, the obsession with it can hardly be understood3.

轉换表达→Bill Bryson holds that1 it cant be comprehended3 for the English weather is boring2.

要点3:第三段主题句和次要点 “the weather in England is very changeable and uncertain”可整合成一句。此句使用“lie in… ”表达精确简练;“nature attractive”和“is very changeable and uncertain”分别同义词性转换为“attraction”和“uncertainty”。

文本原句:Jeremy Paxman, however, disagrees with Bryson, arguing that1 the English weather is by nature attractive2…. According to him, the weather in England is very changeable and uncertain3 and it attracts the English as well as the outsider.

转换表达→Jeremy Paxman argues1 that its attraction2 just lies in its uncertainty3.

要点4:第四段主题句和关键词“a means of social bonding”整合成一句。此句使用“not…but… ”句型形成很好的语义连贯。

文本原句:Both commentators, somehow, are missing the point1. The English weather conversation has nothing to do with1 the weather. …help the speakers overcome the natural reserve2 and actually talk to each other3. …English weather-speak is a means of social bonding4.

转换表达→ the English weather-speak is not about weather itself1, but a way to break social barrier2 and keep social connection4 which makes communication easier3.

(2)连句成篇,形成概要初稿

English conversation is initiated with the weather topic, but few commentators can convincingly explain the reason for it. Bill Bryson holds that it cant be comprehended for the English weather is boring, while Jeremy Paxman argues that its attraction just lies in its uncertainty. The English weather-speak is not about weather itself, but a way to break social barrier and keep social connection which makes communication easier.

5. 优化语言,注重全文连贯,誊写工整规范

结合该真题文体特点,使用“some… , while others…”代表两种对立观点和“Virtually/Actually”引出事实本质,进行有效衔接。同时注意词数要求(60词),形成概要终稿如下:

English conversation is naturally initiated with the weather topic, but few commentators can convincingly explain the reason for it.【要点1】Some hold that it cant be comprehended for the English weather is boring,【要点2】 while others argue that its attraction just lies in its uncertainty.【要点3】Virtually, the English weather-speak is not about weather itself, but a way to break social barrier and keep social connection which makes communication easier.【要点4】

我们可以将此类“先破后立模式”文章形成以下模式:

Contradictory to / In contrast to the long-held negative impact of 话题, recent studies have indicated/ revealed that sth. incredibly brings us a range of benefits.【要点1】 Above all, more easily shifts you into.【要点2】Additionally, while doing…, chances are that…, which greatly contributes to…. 【要点3】 Ultimately, you are likely to…, thus doing sth.【要点4】

四、实战演练

阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。

We might think we know which colors do what. The idea that red wakes us up or blue calms us down is deeply rooted in Western culture. But do they really change our behavior in the ways that we assume?

When it comes to scientific research, the results are mixed and at times contested. Some studies have found that people do better on cognitive tasks when faced with red rather than blue or green; others show the opposite. The idea is that if you repeatedly have a particular experience surrounded by a certain color, then you eventually begin to associate that color with the way you were feeling or behaving. A school career spent reading your teachers red writing circling your mistakes forever makes you link red with danger. Blue meanwhile is more likely to be associated with calmer situations like marveling at a big blue expanse of sky.

Of course there will always be exceptions—the comment from the teacher saying “well done” is also written in red. It is true that people do make different associations with different colors, but whether this translates into behaving in a certain way or succeeding at a particular task is a different question.

In 2009 researchers tried to clarify the situation. They sat their participants at computer screens colored blue, red or “neutral” and tested them on various tasks. With a red screen people did better on tasks requiring attention to detail, but when the screen was blue they did better on creative tasks. In practice this might be tricky.

However, when another team tried to repeat the study with a larger group of people in 2014, the effect of color disappeared. The initial study consisted of just 69 people. In this new, bigger study of 263 volunteers, background color made no difference.

So colors might well have an effect, but so far those effects have been difficult to demonstrate consistently and sometimes dont seem to exist at all.

【參考范文】Weve long believed each color has a specific effect on behavior, but researches show that this effect is complicated and varying with certain habitual experience,【要点1】which helps explain why red deemed negative assessment indicates recognition elsewhere.【要点2】Interestingly, a 2009 finding in favor of color effect was disproved by another experiment based on a larger sample of candidates.【要点3】 So color effect may not exist at all.【要点4】

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