雪瑞·孟德森（Cheryl Mendelson），美国作家，出生于宾夕法尼亚州格林县农家，先后获得罗切斯特大学哲学博士学位和哈佛大学法学院法学博士学位。曾在纽约从事律师工作，并在普渡大学和哥伦比亚大学巴纳德学院教授哲学。1999年，她出版了《家事的抚慰：食物、衣物，以及合理的家事计划》（Home Comforts： The Art and Science of Keeping House），后出版小说三部曲《晨边高地》（Morningside Heights）、《爱，工作，孩子》（Love， Work， Children）、《一切为了简》（Anything for Jane）。目前雪瑞与丈夫和儿子一起生活。

Excerpts1）

I am a working woman with a secret life： I keep house. An off-and-on2） lawyer and professor in public， in private I launder3） and clean， cook from the hip， and devote serious time and energy to a domestic routine not so different from the one that defined my grandmothers as “housewives.” When I want a good read， I reach for my collection of old housekeeping manuals. The part of me that enjoys housekeeping and the comforts it provides is central to my character.

Until now， I have almost entirely concealed this passion for domesticity. No one meeting me for the first time would suspect that I squander my time knitting or my mental reserves remembering household facts such as the date when the carpets and mattresses were last rotated. Without thinking much about it， I knew I would not want this information about me to get around. After all， I belong to the first generation of women who worked more than they stayed home. We knew that no judge would credit the legal briefs of a housewife， no university would give tenure to one， no corporation would promote one， and no one who mattered would talk to one at a party.

Being perceived as excessively domestic can get you socially ostracized4）. When I made hand-rolled pasta for a dinner， I learned the hard way that some guests will find this annoying， as they do not feel comfortable eating a meal that they regard as the product of too much trouble. When my son was in nursery school， I made the mistake of spending a few hours sewing for him a Halloween astronaut costume of metallic cloth， earning the disgust， suspicion， and hard stares of many a fellow parent who had bought a Batman or Esmeralda costume. When I finally had to begin disclosing to friends and acquaintances just what the long book was about that I had been working on for so many years， I got a lot of those stares. Many times my courage failed me when painful silences followed my confession， “No， not a history of housework， an explanation of it—a practical book on how you make the bed and make a comfortable home，” or “No， nothing about recipes， bouquets， gardening， monogramming， decorating， or crafts. Its about how a home works， not how it looks—what different fabrics are for， pantry and refrigeration storage， laundering and ironing， tuning the piano， cleaning and dusting， household records， books， laws， germs， allergies， and safety.” I managed to persevere partly because not everyone responded with that stare; there was enthusiasm as well. And I was struck that no one responded with bored indifference. The topic was clearly hot—too hot for some people to handle， heartwarming to others.

Born Too Late

For me， too， the subject was actually something of a hot potato. I was raised to be a rural wife and mother， but I was born too late to find many openings for farm wives. Until I was thirteen， I lived in the Appalachian5） southwest corner of Pennsylvania， for most of the time on a working farm where I received an old-fashioned domestic education quite unlike the experience of the average girl in the 1950s. Early on， I learned baby care， housecleaning， laundering， gardening， cooking， embroidering， knitting， and sewing. I slopped the pigs， herded the cows， and helped out with the milking. I was proud to be able to pin a cloth diaper around a baby when I was six， and cook breakfasts of eggs， bacon， toast， and coffee for a large family and the hired help when I was nine.

Because housekeeping skills got respect in my world， I looked forward to keeping a house of my own one day. It was what I wanted， and part of me was confident that I could do it well. Another part doubted practically everything I had been taught. That was because my domestic education was a battlefield in a subtle war between my two grandmothers. These ladies， both expert in needlecraft， cookery， canning， and all the other arts of the home， each held an absolute conviction that there was a right way to keep house （the one she had been brought up with） and a wrong way （all others）.

My maternal grandmother was a fervent housekeeper in her ancestral Italian style， while my paternal grandmother was an equally fervent housekeeper in a style she inherited from England， Scotland， and Ireland. In one home I heard Puccini6）， slept on linen sheets with finely crocheted7） edging rolled up with lavender from the garden， and enjoyed airy， light rooms with flowers sprouting in porcelain pots on windowsills and the foreign scents of garlic and dark， strong coffee. The atmosphere was open and warmly hospitable. The other home felt like a fortress—secure against intruders and fitted with stores and tools for all emergencies. There were Gay Nineties8） tunes on the player piano and English hymns， rooms shaded almost to darkness against real and fancied harmful effects of air and light， hand-braided rag rugs， brightly colored patchwork quilts， and creamed lima beans from the garden.

作品赏析

《家事的抚慰》一书的英文副标题是“The Art and Science of Keeping House”（操持家务的艺术与科学）。作者雪瑞·孟德森在解释这个书名时写道：“持家是一门艺术，头脑直觉与身体技能相互配合，才能创造出舒适、健康、美丽、秩序与安全。它也是一门科学，是帮助我们更加睿智、高效和人性地实现上述诸项目标的知识体系。”秉持这样的创作理念，雪瑞在书中不仅与读者分享了操持家务所必备的常识，更探问了为何我们需要这些居家常识，用这些常识构建出的家是什么模样，以及为何这样的操劳能够为我们带来珍贵的抚慰感。

在书的一开始，雪瑞就以“生不逢时”为题，讲述了自己与家务事的渊源。虽然生长在宾夕法尼亚州的农场，经由持家有道的祖母和外祖母的影响，从小对操持家务耳濡目染，雪瑞却感叹自己生得太晚，已经无法顺理成章地过上嫁为农妇、养儿育女的主妇人生。在雪瑞成长起来的新世代，居家常识似乎变得无关紧要，于是她转而勤奋读书，获取学位，走进婚姻，步入职场。这些人生经历看似把雪瑞从家庭主妇型的传统人生模式越拉越远，实际上却推动她对何以为家和怎样持家进行愈发深入的思考。雪瑞的第一段婚姻以失败告终，原因是她和丈夫对家务事都不闻不问，最终导致两人矛盾重重，夫妻关系无法维系。她也曾因工作太忙，把家当做旅馆，只在其中睡觉、洗澡、换衣服，觉得自己活得像颗机械运转的螺丝钉。即便她在第二段婚姻中积累了较丰富的家事心得，日渐享受着家的幸福，但是在社交场合的雪瑞也常常只敢以“律师”和“教授”的面目示人，将“家事达人”当做是自己的秘密人生。雪瑞的这些经历使她对家和家事的思考有着更为现代的关照。这些思考是阐释和讨论性的，而不是“菜谱式”和速成型的，它对回归家事的立场是温和且迂回的，因此才获得了超越职业甚至无关性别的普适性。对于和雪瑞一样“生不逢时”的现代读者而言，雪瑞的这本家事心得因此更具实用性和开放性。

对毕业于哲学和法学专业并曾担任律师的雪瑞而言，家是一系列权利的集合。而家带给人们的舒适感，很大一部分正是源于人们对于这些权利的伸张和享用。从这个意义上来说，我们之所以需要悉心了解持家之道，是因为：了解食材的选购和烹饪，是在练习防御和守护家人的健康;勤力打扫与清洗，是在击退灰尘、异味、细菌、霉变、昆虫等不速之客的入侵和骚扰;摸索收纳与贮藏，是在绘制能够战胜遗忘和惰性的明晰地图;甚至有人潜心进修成业余的电工和管道工，以管窥上帝创世般的荣耀，在需要有光的时候，开关一触即亮，而在需要安眠时，水龙头滴水不漏。我们称之为家的这个空间之所以舒适而珍贵，并不单单是因为它的丰沛或便利，更是因为这是家的操持者依着自己的模样，仿佛造物主般从无到有创造出的私人专属伊甸园。而作为创造过程的家事操持，往往能够带来贯穿日常、微小却恒久的满足感。

雪瑞笔下的家事操劳是抚慰性的，还因为它忠实地还原了人生周而复始、往复循环的日常面貌。很多人之所以对操持家务抱持着厌烦甚至恐惧的态度，正是因为家务的操持似乎无休无止，仿佛永远没有大功告成，可以心满意足、功成身退的那一刻。我们一遍又一遍地需要睡觉、饮食、洗澡、换洗、清洁、放松、学习和娱乐，这些需求千头万绪，此起彼伏。而在雪瑞看来，我们之所以需要悉心了解持家之道，是要在其中聆听每日的节拍，感受季节的更替，把握年岁的脉搏，并依此创造出适合自己的节奏。而一个操持有方的家正是以悉心的经营确立了这样的节奏，使它“应和着生活的旋律”。因此，在雪瑞看来，以勤勉的姿态替换一劳永逸的奢望，恰恰是正确持家的第一步。而通过这种维护和操持所换来的珍贵恒常，才是家的要义所在。在这个意义上，家的舒适和珍贵并非源自于它的富丽奢华，也不源自它的纤尘不染，而是因为它如呼吸般绵长，随着主人的饮食起居进行自身的新陈代谢。而家事的这种细水长流的焕新力量，才得以源源不绝地对抗着人生仿佛“西西弗斯式”的徒劳无功感。

《家事的抚慰》一书出版于1999年，雪瑞动笔的初衷是因为祖母们传下来的家务秘诀已不适用于随着时代变迁而发生着巨大变化的现代家庭。而当我们在多年之后再来阅读雪瑞的这本居家手册，可能也会不禁感叹社会发展的迅速，其中也有失效落伍的章节，也有居家讨论的盲点。然而雪瑞写作的语境并没有太多变化：科技的进步带来了更多省时省力的便利，随之而来的喧嚣吵闹却似乎有隔断人与世界共通脉搏的风险，家之所以为家的诸多特权也面临着更多被蚕食和被侵犯的挑战。基于此，我们对于家和家事的探问思量，实在是需要多一点，再多一点。