苑添宣

I went to New York by train with my family today.

I got up very early because I was excited to go to New York. First， we visited the Central Park. It was so beautiful that everyone who visited the park liked it very much. After that， we went shopping in a supermarket. It was crowded， so we didnt buy anything. Then we went to the zoo to see animals. The animals in the zoo were lovely and interesting. We came back home at seven oclock. We all had fun. We were tired， too. We went to bed very early.

What an enjoyable trip we had！

简评：

本文是初二学生的一篇优秀习作，以日记的形式记述了假期中的一次旅行。时态运用准确，语句优美并适时地使用了状语从句、定语从句等较复杂的语句。小作者能够把学过的词汇、语句灵活运用到本文中，但个别的词语用法还须多下功夫。

指导教师：王磊