少年阿莫的秘密日记

2015-03-31bySueTownsend乌芜

疯狂英语·新策略 2015年10期

关键词：伯特阿莫卢卡斯

by Sue Townsend乌芜译

少年阿莫的秘密日记

by Sue Townsend乌芜译

Thursday January 1st

Bank Holiday in England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales

These are my New Year’s resolutions:

I will help the blind across the road.

I will hang my trousers up.

I will put the1)sleeves back on my records.

I will not start smoking.

I will stop squeezing my spots.

I will be kind to the dog.

I will help the poor and ignorant.

After hearing the disgusting noises from downstairs last night, I have also vowed never to drink alcohol.

My father got the dog drunk on cherry brandy at the party last night. If the2)RSPCA hear about it he could get done. Eight days have gone by since Christmas Day, but my mother still hasn’t worn the green3)Lurex apron I bought her for Christmas! She’ll be getting bathcubes next year.

Just my luck, I’ve got a spot on my chin for the frst day of the New Year!

1月1日星期四

英格拉、爱尔兰、苏格兰与威尔士的银行休息日

这些是我的新年计划：

扶盲人过马路。

把裤子挂好。

听完唱片套上封套。

不沾烟。

不再挤痘痘。

对狗狗好一点。

帮助穷人和没文化的人。

在昨晚听过楼下传来的令人厌恶的噪声后，我还发誓永不沾酒。

爸爸昨晚在派对上用樱桃白兰地把家里的狗灌醉了。如果皇家防止虐待动物协会知道这件事，他就完蛋了。圣诞节已经过去了八天，但我还没见妈妈穿过那件绿色的卢勒克斯围裙，这是我送给她的圣诞礼物！明年她只能收到浴皂！

真倒霉，新年第一天我的下巴就长了一颗痘痘！

苏·唐珊（1946—2014），英国著名小说家、剧作家。唐珊早年一直默默无闻，直到她三十多岁时，因发表了据其童年经历写成的《少年阿莫的秘密日记》，受到了读者和媒体的一致好评，才开始声名鹊起。该书被迅速改编成影视作品，成为了英伦的时代话题。此后，唐珊又陆续发表了《少年阿莫的秘密日记Ⅱ》《阿莫抓狂记》《阿莫的卡布其诺年代》等“阿莫”系列作品，随着这些作品被翻译成越来越多的语言，她逐渐成为全球读者热爱的著名作家。

《少年阿莫的秘密日记》是一本幽默的日记体小说，以少年阿莫的口吻记录下生活中的点点滴滴。翻开这本秘密日记，我们认识了阿莫这个天真稚嫩、敏感善良的男孩。他和十三四岁时的我们很相像——热心助人、希望能成为一个知识分子、开始长青春痘并对此很在意、有了喜欢的人……但他也和十三四岁的我们不太一样，他的生活似乎比我们混乱得多，一直麻烦缠身——父亲失业、母亲出轨、在学校受到班上恶霸的勒索……然而无论是那些鸡毛蒜皮的小事，还是那些牵动人心的大事，作者都以幽默的笔触处理得妙趣横生，让你时不时捧腹大笑。欢笑之余，还收获了满满的温暖和感动。

Tuesday January 13th

My father has gone back to work. Thank God! I don’t know how my mother sticks with him.

Mr Lucas came in this morning to see if my mother needed any help round the house. He is very kind. Mrs Lucas was next door cleaning the outside windows. The ladder didn’t look very safe. I have written to4)Malcolm Muggeridge,5)c/o the BBC, asking him what to do about being an intellectual. I hope he writes back soon because I’m getting fed up being one on my own. I have written a poem, and it only took me two minutes. Even the famous poets take longer than that. It is called The Tap, but it isn’t really about a tap, it’s very deep, and about life and stuff like that.

The Tap, by Adrian Mole

The tap drips and keeps me awake,

In the morning there will be a lake.

For the want of a6)washer the carpet will spoil,

Then for another my father will7)toil.

My father could8)snuff it while he is at work.

Dad, ft a washer don’t be a9)burk!

I showed it to my mother, but she laughed. She isn’t very bright. She still hasn’t washed my PE shorts, and I’ve got school tomorrow. She is not like the mothers on television.

1月13日星期二

感谢上帝！我爸爸终于重新工作了。真不知道妈妈怎么会跟他过日子。

今天早上，卢卡斯先生过来我们家，看看我妈妈需不需要帮忙。他人真好。卢卡斯太太在隔壁擦屋外的窗户。梯子看起来不是很安全。我寄了一封信给英国广播公司的马尔科姆·马格里奇，请教他怎样才能成为一名知识分子。我希望他能尽快回信，我讨厌极了孤军奋战的感觉。我写了一首诗，这只花了我两分钟。即便是最著名的诗人也要花更长的时间。这首诗叫“水龙头”，但我并不是真的在写水龙头，这首诗意义深远、富含人生哲理。

水龙头，艾德里安·莫尔著

水龙头滴滴答答，扰我睡眠，

明日清早，一片汪洋。

少个垫圈，地毯遭殃，

为购地毯，爸爸拼命工作。

也许一不小心就一命呜呼。

爸爸，装好垫圈，不要犯傻！

我把这首诗拿给妈妈看，但她居然乐得哈哈大笑。她不是很聪明。她还没洗我的运动裤，明天就要上学了。她和电视上的妈妈不一样。

1) sleeve [sliːv] n. 套子，唱片套

2) RSPCA abbr. Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals,（英国）皇家防止虐待动物协会

3) Lurex ['lʊəreks] n. 卢勒克斯织物（商标名称）

4) Malcolm Muggeridge 马尔科姆·马格里奇（1909—1990），英国记者、作家、媒体人

5) c/o abbr. care of，由…转交

6) washer ['wɒʃə] n. 垫圈，用金属、塑料、橡胶或皮革等制的圆盘状物，放于螺钉下、轮轴处或连接处以减少摩擦，防止渗漏或均衡压力

7) toil [tɔɪl] v. 苦干，跋涉，费力地做

8) snuff it死去

9) burk [bзːk] n. 傻瓜，berk的变体

Wednesday January 14th

Joined the library. Got Care of the Skin, Origin of Species, and a book by a woman my mother is always going on about. It is called Pride and Prejudice, by a woman called Jane Austen. I could tell the librarian was impressed. Perhaps she is an intellectual like me. She didn’t look at my spot, so perhaps it is getting smaller. About time!

Mr Lucas was in the kitchen drinking coffee with my mother. The room was full of smoke. They were laughing, but when I went in, they stopped.

Mrs Lucas was next door cleaning the drains. She looked as if she was in a bad mood. I think Mr and Mrs Lucas have got an unhappy marriage. Poor Mr Lucas!

None of the teachers at school have noticed that I am an intellectual. They will be sorry when I am famous. There is a new girl in our class. She sits next to me in Geography. She is all right. Her name is Pandora, but she likes being called “Box”. Don’t ask me why. I might fall in love with her. It’s time I fell in love, after all I am 13¾ years old.

1月14日星期三

我去图书馆办了借书证。借了《保养皮肤》《物种起源》，还有一本我妈妈老是挂在嘴边的女作家写的一本书，叫《傲慢与偏见》，作者是简·奥斯汀。我可以看出那个图书管理员很惊讶。也许她和我一样是个知识分子。她没有朝我的痘痘看，也许它变小了。这只是迟早的事！

卢卡斯先生和妈妈在厨房喝咖啡。里面烟气弥漫。他们笑得很开心，但我一进去，他们就不出声了。

卢卡斯太太在隔壁清理排水沟。她看起来心情很差。我想卢卡斯先生和卢卡斯太太的婚姻很不幸福。可怜的卢卡斯先生！

学校里的老师都没有注意到我现在是个知识分子了。等我出名了，他们会为此感到遗憾的。我们班来了个新的女同学。上地理课时，她坐在我隔壁。她很不错。她的名字叫潘多拉，但她喜欢人家叫她“盒子”。别问我原因。我也许爱上她了。我也该爱上一个人了，毕竟，我都13¾ 岁了。

10) big-end n.（汽车发动机的）连杆头

11) Lent [lent] n.〈宗〉四旬斋

12) wanton ['wɒntən] adj. 不道德的，不贞洁的

Saturday January 24th

Today was the most terrible day of my life. My mother has got a job doing her rotten typing in an insurance offce! She starts on Monday! Mr Lucas works at the same place. He is going to give her a lift every day.

And my father is in a bad mood—he thinks his10)big-end is going.

But worst of all, Bert Baxter is not a nice old age pensioner! He drinks and smokes and has an alsatian dog called Sabre. Sabre was locked in the kitchen while I was cutting the massive hedge, but he didn’t stop growling once.

But even worse than that! Pandora is going out with Nigel!!!!! I think I will never get over this shock.

1月24日星期六

今天是我人生中最糟糕的一天。我妈妈凭着她那蹩脚的打字技术在一间保险公司找到了一份工作。星期一开始上班！卢卡斯先生也在那间公司上班。他准备每天送她上班。

爸爸心情很不好——他想他汽车的连杆头要坏了。

但最糟糕的是，领着养老金过活的伯特·巴克斯特并不是一个亲切的老人。他喝酒、抽烟，有一条叫赛博的阿尔萨斯犬。当我在修剪那一大片灌木丛时，赛博被锁在了厨房里。但它一直在狂吠。

但比这还要糟糕的是——潘多拉在跟奈杰尔约会！！！我觉得我永远都无法接受这个事实。

Sunday March 29th Fourth in11)Lent. Mothering Sunday

My father gave me three pounds last night. He said,“Get your mother something decent, son, it could be the last time.” I certainly wasn’t going all the way into town for her, so I went to Mr Cherry’s and bought a box of Black Magic, and a card saying “To a wonderful mother”.

Card manufacturers must think that all mothers are wonderful because every single card has “wonderful”written on it somewhere. I felt like crossing “wonderful”out and putting “12)wanton” in its place, but I didn’t. I signed it “from your son, Adrian”. I gave it to her this morning. She said, “Adrian, you shouldn’t have.” She was right, I shouldn’t have.

Must stop now. My mother has arranged what she called “a civilized meeting”. Mr Lucas is going to be there. Naturally, I am not invited! I am going to listen at the door.

3月29日星期日四旬斋的第四天。母亲节

爸爸昨晚给了我三英镑。他说，“给你妈妈买份好点的礼物，儿子，这可能是最后一次了。”我当然不会为了给妈妈买礼物而千里迢迢地跑到城里去。所以我去了切利先生的店里买了一盒“黑魔法”巧克力，和一张写着“赠予伟大的母亲”的卡片。

卡片制造商一定认为所有母亲都是伟大的，因为每一张卡都一定有个地方印着“伟大”这个词。我想把“伟大”划掉，改成“水性杨花”，但我没有这样做。我在上面写上“你的儿子艾德里安赠”。我今天早上把礼物交给了她。她说，“艾德里安，你不必这样做。”她是对的，我不必这样做。

我得停笔了。妈妈安排了一次所谓的“文明会面”。卢卡斯先生会到场。当然，没有邀请我！我要去门边偷听。

Monday March 30th

A terrible thing happened last night. My father and Mr Lucas had a fght in the front garden, the whole street came outside to watch! My mother tried to separate them but they both told her to “keep out of it”. Mr O ’Leary tried to help my father, he kept shouting “Give the13)smarmy bugger one for me, George”. Mrs O’Leary was shouting horrible things at my mother. By the sounds of things, she had been watching my mother’s movements since Christmas. The civilized meeting broke up at about fve o’clock, when my father found out how long my mother and Mr Lucas had been in love.

They had another civilized meeting at about seven o’clock, but when my mother disclosed that she was leaving for Sheffield with Mr Lucas my father became uncivilized and started fighting. Mr Lucas ran into the garden but my father rugby-tackled him by the laurel bush and the fight broke out again. It was quite exciting really. I had a good view from my bedroom window.

Mrs O’Leary said, “Tis the child I feel sorry for”, and all the people looked up and saw me, so I looked especially sad. I expect the experience will give me a trauma at some stage in the future. I’m all right at the moment, but you never know.

3月30日星期一

昨晚发生了一件很糟糕的事。爸爸和卢卡斯先生在前院打了起来，整条街的人都跑出来看热闹！妈妈试着拉开他们，但他们都让她“不要插手”。奥李尔利先生试着为我爸爸助阵，他不断喊着“乔治，给我好好揍一顿那个虚情假意的混蛋”。奥李尔利太太则朝我妈妈骂一些难听的话。听得出来，从圣诞节起她就开始注意妈妈的动向。这次“文明会面”在5点左右结束，直到爸爸搞清楚妈妈和卢卡斯先生在一起多久了。

他们在7点左右又进行了一次“文明会面”，但当我妈妈声明她要离开这里，和卢卡斯先生前往设菲尔德时，我爸爸就变得不文明，动起粗来。卢卡斯先生跑进了花园，我爸爸拿着月桂条对他穷追猛打，他们又打了起来。其实那个场面很让人激动。我从卧室的窗户看得很清楚。

奥李尔利太太说，“我为这个孩子感到惋惜”，所有人都抬头看我，所以我摆出了一个难过的表情。我觉得这个经历在将来的某个时刻可能会给我带来伤害。我现在觉得没什么，但谁知道以后会怎样呢。

13) smarmy ['smɑːmɪ] adj. 令人厌烦的，爱说奉承话的，虚情假意的

Thursday April 2nd

I am fourteen today! Got a track suit and a football from my father. (He is completely insensitive to my needs.) A Boy’s Book of Carpentry from my grandma Mole. (No comment.) One pound inside a card from my grandad Sugden. (Last of the big spenders). Best of all was ten pounds from my mother and five pounds from Mr Lucas. (Conscience money.)

Nigel sent a joke card; it said on the front, “Who’s sexy, charming, intelligent and handsome?” Inside it said,“Well it certainly ain’t you buddy!!!” Nigel wrote “No offence mate”. He put ten pence inside the envelope.

Bert Baxter sent a card to the school because he doesn’t know where I live. His handwriting is dead good, I think it is called “brass plate”. His card had a picture of an alsatian on the front. Inside Bert had written, “Best wishes from Bert and Sabre. P.S. Drain blocked up”. Inside the card there was a book token for ten shillings. It expired in December 1958, but it was a kind thought.

So at last I am fourteen! Had a good look at myself in the mirror tonight and I think I can detect a certain maturity. (Apart from the rotten spots.)