by Tracey Emin

people who love my work love it. They， yeah， they...they think its really intimate and really honest and everything. People who dont like my work think its sentimental and 1）crass.

Youve got to keep yourself free and honest to...to you， true to what youre doing， because otherwise you just...you just get lost， you just end up being depressed and really weird and questioning what the whole thing about art is all about anyway.

I make art that is really， really personal， so people felt that they could attack me through the art because I was putting myself out there with this personal language. Because， even though they were critics， they didnt have the intelligence to still understand that of course its the separation from me.

Art is...is perceived differently in different places at different times by different people， so theres nothing Ive done to be controversial or shocking. Im a fighter. God am I a fighter！ If I 2）retaliated， God help them. You know， thats not a threat. Its just that I need my energy for my art. I need my energy for myself. If I start retaliating on every tiny...tiny battle， I would never win my war with myself as being an artist. Its difficult being an artist. It goes against the grain of things， and， for that reason I need all my self-strength and 3）stamina. I cant go around fighting all those little battles with people， you know.

A n d I h a d this massive big 4）sledgehammer and Ive got all my paintings， carried them downstairs， put them in the middle of the courtyard and got the sledgehammer， and I smashed them to 5）smithereens， and they were all wood， a lot of them， as well on 6）hardboard， and then...and I had blood running off my hands and I was screaming and everything I was doing. And now， if I had known， I would have had filmed it. Would have been fantastic， so...

Ive managed to overcome a lot of difficulties in my life， and Ive managed to do it really well， and that is through my love of art and art loving me. Art has taken care of me， and...and its good， its a fantastic 7）symbiotic thing. I always say art is like a lover， and even if I tried to leave it， it comes back and 8）cradles me and looks after me， and my life has made perfect sense because of the art. The suffering is nothing in comparison to the joy and the...and the happiness and the appreciation and the luck and the good fortune that the art has brought me. Its fantastic！

When…when I was younger I made work that was so close to me， it touched me， and at the beginning a lot of people didnt see it as being art. They just saw it as “object dull.” All my…my personal effects. They couldnt relate to it as art. And still people have a lot of difficulty with those works， but， for me， it was just me making something with the reality of the subjects. So instead of making a drawing of it or sculpture of it， making something， I just used it.

Being an artist and using my memory for my work， I dont want to disconnect myself from my past completely， but I would like to see it from a different perspective. Id like to see it from the pers…perspective of being an adult as opposed to always seeing it from being like an adolescent girl. I dont want to be a screaming adolescent girl when Im nearly 50. I want to get some balance and some middle ground in my life， but at the same hand [sic] I dont want to be really boring. I want， you know， I want to be a…I think “develop” is the word， develop and push things further.

Im a very passionate person， and Im， you know， I have a…deep emotions. We all have emotions， but mine really come out， like one of my friends say that I apparently have containment issues. You know， Im always constantly telling the truth apparently， you know， Im always saying things you shouldnt say. But Im always making work about things that are close subject matter for a lot of people. I still have all those subject matters that I work with， and I still work with them， but maybe in a different kind of way or in a more indepth way. Or maybe Ive been exhausted doing it. In one way this sort of screaming adolescent girl hasnt got any more energy left. Now Ive got to sort of sit down and think “Well， what have I got， what can I work with？” What I can work with now really is my hands and my knowledge and my information of the visual arts and my love of art history.

I think galleries are the new cathedrals， the new churches， and I think all art， whether its in a church or whether its in a gallery， gives people...Its a...its a place and space for mental 9）contemplation， which is really important， and thats whats so beautiful and important about art.

喜欢我作品的人对它们赞赏不已，他们觉得我的作品贴近内心，非常真实，等等。不喜欢我作品的人会觉得它们多愁善感，粗鲁不堪。

你必须保持自由，诚实地对待自己和自己的所为，否则你就会迷失自我，最终变得颓废、古怪，质疑关于艺术的一切到底有什么意义。

我所创作的艺术作品都是非常私人的，所以人们觉得他们可以通过我的作品来攻击我，因为这些私人化的语言使我暴露无遗。他们虽然身为评论家，却没能明智地认识到我的作品和我本身明显是两回事。

在不同的地方，不同的时期，不同的人对艺术有着不同的看法，所以我的作品并没有什么可争议的或者令人震惊的地方。我是一个斗士，确实如此！如果我要反击，那攻击我的那些人就只能祈求上天怜悯了。你知道，这并不是威胁，只不过我需要为我的艺术创作保存能量，为我自己保存能量。如果我在每次微不足道的小战役中都要去回击，那么在与作为艺术家的自己进行的这场大对决中，我永远也不可能取胜。当一名艺术家不容易，因为你做着与常态相悖的事。正因为如此，我才需要聚集自身所有的能量和精力。我不能到处去和别人进行那些小争小斗，你知道的。

我拿起一个结实的大锤，把我所有的画都搬到楼下，放在院子中间，举起大锤把它们砸成碎片。那些画都是木质的，有很多，而且还是硬质纤维板的，然后……鲜血从我的双手流下，我尖叫着，疯了一般。现在回头看看，那时没有想到，应该把那一幕拍下来的，会很有趣，所以……

我这一生克服了许多困难，我成功战胜了它们，这有赖于我对艺术的爱和艺术对我的爱。艺术一直在照看着我，我和艺术之间是一种奇妙的、相互依靠的关系。我总是说，艺术就像一位爱人，即使我要离开它，它也会回到我身边，呵护着我，照顾着我。因为艺术，我的生命充满了意义。相比起艺术带给我的欣喜、快乐、感恩和幸运，我所承受的痛苦根本不算什么。艺术真是太美妙了！

年轻的时候，我的作品与自己密切相关，它们打动了我，但一开始很多人并没有把它们看作艺术，只认为那些是“无趣的物品”，是我个人的东西，人们无法把它们和艺术联系到一起。直到现在人们仍然对那些作品感到费解，但对我来说，我只是在用那些题材本身来创作。我并没有把它们做成一幅画，或者一个雕塑，我没有把它们做成什么，我只是使用了它们本身。

作为一名艺术家，我会把我的回忆用作素材，因此我不想把自己和过去完全割裂开来，而是想从另一个角度来看待我的过去，从一个成人的角度，而不是总是从一个青春期女孩的角度。我已经快50岁了，不想再做一个大喊大叫的小女生。我希望在生活中找到一些平衡，一些“中间地带”，但同时我又不想变得乏味。你知道，我想要做个……我认为“成长”一词比较合适，成长并且向前发展。

我是个很有激情的人，我是……你知道的，我的情感很丰富。我们都有情感，但我的情感会释放出来，像我的一个朋友所说的，我显然在控制自己情绪方面有点问题。你知道，我总是在不断地说真话，总是说些不该说的话。但我的创作一直都围绕着那些与很多人密切相关的主题。我现在仍关注着那些主题，仍然以它们来创作，但也许是以一种不同的方式，一种更为深入的方式。或许这已经使我精疲力竭了。可以说这个大喊大叫的小女生已经耗尽了她的精力。如今我不得不坐下来思考“我还有什么，还能用什么来创作？”现在我能用于创作的是我的双手，我关于视觉艺术的知识，还有我对艺术史的热爱。

我认为美术馆是新的艺术殿堂，新的教堂，而所有的艺术，无论是在教堂里还是在美术馆里，都能够带给人们……艺术是一个供心灵进行沉思的空间，这一点很重要，这也是艺术的美和重要性所在。